Memoir
The mall was, surprisingly, crowded that day, filled with bumping shoulders and quick apologies when people trampled over one another near red sales. Lovers connected through shy hands, friends linked through arms, but Yunho found no comfort in neither.
In this crowd, he was only one, unnoticeable through the many faces, not found unless looked for. But even having the slight cover among the people, had not push the feeling of longing away, had not lighten the uselessness of purpose. And he won’t blame himself. No, he’ll blame his friend, his advice.
“Yunho…The sun’s calling out to you today. I know it. It’s going to be different.”
The last thing he remembered was the smell of familiar cooking and how it angered him enough to take the first step outside his freshly painted apartment, compliments to Junsu.
Yunho fixed the black shaded glasses over his narrow nose, shrouding the colors to his preferred grayness. His hands tucked firmly in his jean pocket as he passed stores, with nothing but a few 50’s and a crinkled picture.
His black heels clicked across the tiled floors in a slow manner, glancing from store to store. He passes a girl, dressed in a simple fashion of a plaid skirt and a Tee. She looked like a teen, beautiful skin, innocent, young. Yunho watches from across the girl, watches her fidget in place, stealing quick glances towards her cell, and he knows. She’s waiting for something, for someone.
He knows this feeling very well, and with a turn, he walks away from this waiting girl and doesn’t dare to think. Not to think of waiting, cause he’s always waiting, been waiting.
Walking aimlessly in long strides, Yunho almost passes by a clothing store. One that he remembered for some particular reason and it pulled him in.
He walks in, feeling the cool A.C. air and instant echoes of voices throughout the clothing store called: Memoir. Yunho had scoffed at the uncreative name and the clothes held no interest in his part, and he almost forgets why he came here in the first place.
Yunho picked out a plain white shirt from the racks and held it above his head. The patterns, and the softness of the shirt becomes lost, and all he sees is the person within the crinkled picture in his pocket, wearing the shirt. Yunho eyes widen and he drops the piece of garment as if burned.
Slowly, he brings his large slender fingers towards his temple, rubbing away all unnecessary thoughts and weariness and before he can collect himself he hears a sound, a joyful sound. Something he hadn’t heard in, days? Week? Months? He can’t remember.
Too focused, he almost jumps when a hand brushes his shoulders.
“Excuse me sir, but is there anything I can help you with?”
Yunho turns and his voice comes out raspy. He clears his throat and realizes he hasn’t used his voice in a while. “N-no miss. I’m fine.”
He sees the lady quirk an eyebrow and she looks just as plain and white as the shirt. “Are you sure, sir? Do you want me t-,”
“I’m fine!” The lady, taken aback, bows and scampers off, leaving Yunho to himself. Uncaring of his unusual behavior, he scans the semi-crowded store for that beautiful noise. His feet bring him in circles, attracting the attention of random shoppers, but he doesn’t care. He wants to hear it; his heart aches for it, or does his sanity?
Then it came.
So soft, gentle, and sweet and the noises in the background become a low hum, a murmur. The sound comes and goes, like a tease, and he’s ravenous to find it. Yunho keeps his glasses in place as he dashes frantically from rack to rack, bumping into people who’s angry shouts fall in deaf’s ear.
He hears it so clearly now and he knows he’s getting closer, following the trail he sees from the music.
There!
Yunho catches sight of movement, blurred and before it can escape from behind a mannequin, he lunges forward, grabbing unto something.
It squirms in his hands as he pulls it closer, lifting it in the air and Yunho can only stare at the round face, rosy cheeks, the beautiful brown orbs and the pink lips.
It’s a child, a young boy.
The child giggles and Yunho almost melts, almost snap at the rush of memories and the yearning for more.
“Aww! You found me mister!”
Yunho continued to stare, entranced by the high-pitched voice that had no sharp edges and more drawn by the brown eyes he knew so well, but from where? The boy tilts his head to the side and kicks the air with his small feet, forcing Yunho to set him down.
The boy, at full height, is only up to his knees, and he sees the boy desperately tries to look up at his face.
“Wow Mister! You’re really tall!”
The boy makes a serious of extreme hand gestures to indicate their height difference and Yunho can’t help a small chuckle to escape.
“Just like my daddy!!” Yunho stops and lowers himself to curious brown eyes, untainted from life.
“Your Daddy?”
“Uh-huh! Or maybe he’s mommy cause Mommy can be really mean and Daddy is sometimes nicer. But Daddy’s stern, but sometimes Mom can be too. Like this time…”
The rest are lost in a quick jumble of words that Yunho can’t catch up on, and to humor the child, he nods his head with a small smile. There’s something about this boy that warms his heart, his blood full of love that he can’t explain.
“…and then the windows broke! Anyway, what’s your name Mister? My name’s-,”
“Mio!”
The child’s shoulders tensed and Yunho looked over the boy’s head to see a woman running towards him, long auburn hair trailing behind her. The woman heaved to a stop and before Yunho can make any apologies, the boy is pulled from him.
“Mio! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for, goodness, 30 minutes for you!” They boy’s head hangs and is close to tears at being chastised and all Yunho can do is stand and watch. He takes off his black glasses that made him more or less like the “bad people” the mother keeps warning the child about.
Yunho clears his throat, interrupting the mother in her mini-lecture to a child that probably only hears the screaming and not the words. The lady brings her attention to him, and Yunho sees her face is distressed and annoyed, but he sees a quick change in her expression when she finally sees him.
“I’m sorry, I mean no harm to your child and had no intentions of-,”
“Yunho?”
Yunho stop, his eyes widening a fraction and he quirks an eyebrow in question. “H-how, do I know you?”
“Yes…it is you. Jung Yunho.” Her face turns soft, almost in a caring way and Yunho is flabbergasted at this person he can’t put a name on.
“You must be confused, we never really met, but I have heard many things about you, good things.” She smiles, her cheeks turning upward in a delicate way, but he sees no resemblance to the child’s smile. A dainty hand is extended his way and with reluctance Yunho takes it within his larger one.
“I’m Lee Eun and this,” She brings the child closer to her, who clings to her billowing patterned dress. “-is Mio.” Yunho stands there, still wondering if they perhaps got the wrong person…who has the same name? He opens his pale lips in hopes of questioning further before someone passes him and towards the woman and the child.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you guys.” The man pecks the woman on her full pink lips and ruffles the child’s hair, who is happily latching unto the man’s long legs.
Yunho watches this scene, feeling awkward and misplaced, and turns to leave.
“Daddy, daddy look! I found someone as tall as you!” Mio points behind the man and…Yunho sees memories he had thought was buried and lost forever. Brown eyes widen, sweat beads dripping down his neck, and he’s willing his mind to stop playing games with him anymore.
The man looks just as surprised, if not more. “Yunho, is that really you?”
No.
The man smiles and he sees the child’s face in his head, flashing before his eyes.
No.
The brown orbs, so bright and deep with emotions, mismatched.
No.
The man steps closer and Yunho can see that plain white shirt on him that only he can bring life to.
“Yunho, it is you!” And before Yunho can object, he’s enveloped into a tight hug and he’s surrounded by the suffocating addicting scent he knows so well.
“Changmin…” He murmurs the name and slowly wraps his arms around the slim waist, fitting them perfectly together. But the moments cut too short and Changmin lets go before Yunho has time to feel again.
Changmin still has that beautiful smile on and his hand warm against his shoulder. “I haven’t seen you for so long. How have you been?”
“Good.”
“Good.” Changmin nods, his smile turning downwards before he pulls the woman closer to him, wrapping an arm around her slender waist.
He knows before he says it, and he can’t help the bitterness growing in him and the ugly pleasure of seeing her drenched in her own life.
He feels his bitten down nails piercing his skin, and he forces a smile to hide some anguish. “Really? Congratulations. I’m happy…for the both of you.”
Changmin frowns at this, both hides it with another smile and lets go of his wife’s hand to hold Yunho’s. Yunho flinches at the touch and fights the urge to pull him towards him, like before. “Let’s…keep in touch. It’s been 5 years too long and I miss you…friend.”
The word itself seem to awkward, but it needed to be put out, of where they both stood and Yunho lets some of his bitterness show on his face. The smile can’t cover anything, and Changmin can spot it, but he feels her hand in his, pulling him away, before he can do anything.
“Come on Honey, Mio’s hungry.” She states, and Mio is jumping around, already halfway towards the exit.
Changmin says a quick good-bye before he’s dragged out the store and the last thing he hears is the loud good-bye from Mio.
He stands there, in Memoir, with nothing but a few 50’s and the crinkled picture of what used to be.
-0-0-
A/N: very messed up right? ^^;