you're always looking for something ( Read more... )

mmm.. tanner's coming over in a bit. nervous? hmm.. yeah. home alone and tanner. hmm. yep, nervous. i don't want to make another freaking mistake. i just have to think of a mantra... i'll figure it out... *sigh* kissing's okay right? should go brush my teeth... he hates smokers.

bleh....i am so fucking stupid. i had to stop and laugh at myself for at least an hour last night. how could i have ever expected anything more from him? how could that thought even have reached my brain? 'nose-touch'? fuck you. you selfish fucking bastard. you never gave a fuck about me, you never will. what in the fuck was i thinking? drug ( Read more... )

i just lost my entire fucking post. i hate my fucking computer. okay, basically, my day was very interesting- a few garage sales, a deep convo with jenny stone, some running around to find casey a place to stay (he's been living in cali for a year and now he's back for the summer.) um... and casey kissed me. (ewewewewewewewewewewew...*confused ( Read more... )

finally ( Read more... )

okay- last night i went over to see Channie (Chantel) and she told me that she met jay on friday night- she was with laura (my newfound best friend) and a couple of fuckheads (including jay and neil) at the causeway getting drunk.. they walked into the woods and it was dark so jay walked laura back to her car.     they were gone for an hour and a ( Read more... )

I Will Let You Go ( Read more... )

not an end ( Read more... )

fuck him. i didn't even get a graduation invitation. fuck that, after two years...wouldn't you think i deserve at least that? apparently i'm just that transparent.  he never gave a fuck about me.

"pavlov hits me with more bad news
every time i answer the phone
so i play and i sing and i just let it ring
all day when i'm at home
a defacto choice of ( Read more... )