Prompt 180.1
Dear Ace,
When did explode turn into my favourite word? I never saw it coming, and I'm not sure it ought to have happened.
I'll never send this letter, and the admission is a moot point but I simply needed to put pen to paper and vent my frustration and futility. I feel it whenever each canister of that blasted Nitro-9 goes off in a hail of rock and flame. The rush of hot air and filthy destructive intent that always comes with it, overshadowed by your joy at what was most assuredly an impending victory. The word "explode" now brings you to mind, and every time I think of you I can't help a warmth that nestles right between my hearts, inspired by the image of your beaming visage.
Ludicrous, isn't it? My entire philosophy surrounds a refusal to take delight in any sort of waste. But then it's accompanied by such unrestrained glee and hope that rather than the thought of super-heated chemicals and shrapnel and death, it brings to mind images of you hopping up and down in fleeting moments of happiness of the likes that I doubt you've experienced in your life.
Oh, Ace. You never could really decide who you are, even if you'll always be my lost girl over the rainbow. Maybe I can't decide who I am, either, and that contributes to why I'm so terribly fond of such a delightful little scoundrel. I do know you very well, through and through, and what's still a mystery about yourself is no secret to me. Even in tugging your heartstrings and running you through an emotional obstacle course, I'm positive there lurks a creative mind with boundless intelligence and a sense of adventure. An unrelenting personality and everything I've ever admired wrapped in a package that had been butchered and buried under the weight of the world. Each little explosion you detonate is like a tiny burst of freedom, a release from all of those troubles and a liberation from a past that needs to be overcome and shall yet be one day.
I almost wonder why Skaro never gave me that same escape.
I suppose this outpouring of emotion is something that I ought to keep to myself, in any case. After all, of all my incarnations, I would be the one most likely to drag you down into my personal underworld. You've tolerated so much of my darkness and you deserve a light as brilliant as those detonations you ignite. You deserve more than I can ever provide.
I will lament the day you're gone from my side, as all companions depart, and greedily hold to your presence until that fateful moment comes to pass.
Never to be delivered,
The Doctor
Character: The Seventh Doctor
Words: 445
Notes: Shippy warning for Doctor/Ace. An undelivered letter.