Comments | dona_sol: Hmm...

dona_sol

Hmm...

Sep 06, 2010 22:34

A few months back, Rick and I went to the movies together. The theater we'd chosen is one of the type that serves food and beverage to you while you watch the movie, so it's sort of like the Palladium in Birmingham (for those of you who would need a Michigan equivalent). There's also a full bar in the front of the theater, and you can order ( Read more... )

Comments 5

(The comment has been removed)

dona_sol September 7 2010, 14:41:03 UTC

Good for you! It's good you gave it back to her, word for word. And honestly, why wouldn't she have said "Oops, my fault. I didn't realize the door wasn't locked," instead of getting an attitude?

I don't believe anyone in your position would have reacted any differently. No one has the right, as you said, to dictate other people's words.

elosamin September 7 2010, 10:17:48 UTC

I was with a friend's friend this weekend who had just had a baby. We were on public transportation and when no one stood up to give her a seat, she got pissed and called them all rude. I pointed out that she had it in a sling and could very well just stand up and hold on as we were all doing.

I agree completely - ANYONE can have a child. Street rats, gutter sluts, ANYONE. You don't have to pass some test that proves you're a great person.

Someone leaned down to her and said, "a child is the most wonderful thing," and I was raging mad. So people that can't have children, or choose not to are missing out on the most wonderful thing in life? I htink my cats are the most wonderful thing, and I think that riding my bike on nature trails is the most wonderful thing. Ugh.

dona_sol September 7 2010, 15:45:29 UTC

Wow.

This is a perfect example of what was bothering me. It seems like some people are given leeway for bad behavior because of their reproductive prowess.

It wasn't everyone's obligation to make that girl's public transportation experience more pleasant! Her choice to have a baby wasn't theirs. Had they given up a seat for her, it would have been a courteous gesture, not a requirement. The other passengers were NOT the ones who were being rude.

As for a child being 'the most wonderful thing', that is a matter of opinion and circumstance. I don't have kids and I'm not against having them one day, but I don't feel like that one thing should make or break my life.

Interesting that you, Dana and I have had similar experiences and share this opinion. I wonder if there's discrimination out there against women who don't have children.

elosamin September 7 2010, 18:19:58 UTC

Oh, there definitely is.

I've had people scoff at me or roll their eyes or act like I admitted to genocide when I said I didn't want children.

I think that it's pushed on us these days. I believe everyone should think very carefully about doing that, because our world is already SOOO overpopulated. Sometimes I think that I'm making this choice because other people feel they're allowed to have 18 children, and I feel responsible to stay childless as a way of balancing things out and being responsible for the world's future.

Also, this is the same girl who whipped out her breast and started breastfeeding in public and giving everyone in a 10 foot radius a lecture about how, "eating was social and it was her baby's dinner, and he shouldn't have to be alone." WHAT? That's so different. I don't have anything against that, but you need to respect social norms nonetheless. Arrrgh.

dona_sol September 7 2010, 18:52:00 UTC

It definitely sounds like you had fun with this girl! It seems like she really enjoys being conspicuous about being a mother. It's possible to breastfeed publicly without exposing yourself to everyone or announcing it.

I completely agree about the alarming number of people who have kids and then have so many that they often don't have the resources to care for them properly. In the first place, birth control is cheap and easy. In the second, having children is not a requirement for a happy life. I can think of many friends of mine who had a oops baby or three and now wish their lives had turned out differently.

If my life leads me that way one day, then fine. But if not, I plan to be happy just the same.

Your decision not to have kids is extremely responsible and I wish people who wound up with children put as much thought into their decision to procreate as you have in deciding not to.