Sam Meets Batman
Sam: *stares omg*
Bruce: *crosses arms, stares back*
Sam: Dude. I thought you were like, an urban legend.
Bruce: That's an upgrade. Most people call me a myth.
Sam: *snicker* Yeah. Most people don't believe shit they actually see, so-- *shrug*
Bruce: Point. *shrug*
Sam: ...So you actually have a Batmobile?
Bruce: ... yep.
Sam: *'heh's under his breath* You so have to meet my brother.
Bruce: He's not a fanboy, is he?
Sam: Nah *and if he were, he wouldn't be weird about it* He's big on cars. Mostly his '67Impala, but yeah. Batmobile. Even I'd be down with that.
Bruce: *nods sagely* It handles really well on tight curves. *is that a joke? Who can say...*
Sam: ...*snicker* *sam's version of facepalming is generally looking away and back, and so he totally does* *dude, batman's a perv* You could say that, I guess. *still snickering*
Bruce: *is SO not a perv and didn't mean it that way!* *god, kids today, rar* *narrowed eyes*
Sam: *what? he lives with Dean for godsake; everything's an innuendo* So vigilantism.
Batman: It's a good gig.
Sam: *laughs* oh Man. You got connections with the law to keep from ending up on the FBI's most wanted?
Batman: In theory. I've saved them often enough they leave me alone.
Sam: Hrm.. There's an idea. *eyebrow* Oh! Hey! 'Sthat mean thre's like, a Joker, too?
Batman: *pained* Can we not talk about him?
Sam: *whoa. There IS a Joker.* Yeah, sure. Sorry? *looks around* *oh man, batman, not so much with the congeniality* *then again, hello, Sam. He's Batman* My brother and I hunt demons. *said probably too late to explain the FBI list comment* *and also in that it makes them sort of vigilantes too right?* *they're so not like batman, though* *DUDE. BATMAN. IS REAL.* *totally cool on the outside*
Bruce: *sighs* *tries very hard not to facepalm*
Sam: *sighs, too, doing very badly in his attempt to be friendly* Um. Beer?
Bruce: I don't drink in uniform. *uncomfortable silence* *pause, pause* ... demons?
Sam: Oh. Right. Be a little weird, I guess. *would be whistling and looking around if this was a cartoon; jesus* *suddenly looks a little less uncomfortable and a little more sure of himself* Demons. We find them and stop them from hurting people. Which generally involves wasting them.
Bruce: .... right. narrows eyes again So. You know they're actually evil how?
Sam: *his turn to give batman the 'duh' eyebrow* ...because they kill people?
Bruce: * ..... * *sigh* Have you ever heard of Zatana?
Sam: No. *matter of fact* Does she try and drown the families of people that were responsible for her death?
Bruce: Heh. She might, if someone drowned her.
Sam: *shrugs* See, and that would put her in the 'evil' column and subject to smitage.
Bruce: She's my best friend and trusted ally. *dryly* She's number four on my speed dial.
Sam: *headtilt; gee thanks for the bait there, Bruce* Then it's a damn good thing no one's tried to drown her, I'm guessing.
Bruce: I'm perfectly aware she taps the powers of hell to do her magic. I'm just not really concerned about it.
Sam: I'm pretty sure hell's linked into my head, too, but I don't go around killing innocent people.
Bruce: ... I didn't say anything about innocent people.
Sam: Guess that would be why we don't know her.
Bruce: Not everything calling itself a 'demon' is working at cross purposes to you. And calling yourself a demon hunter will put you at risk both of running afoul of a potential ally and being used by people who don't know the difference.
Sam: Generally, we're referred to as 'Hunters', which , for one, I'm surprised you've never heard, and for two, around here you have to be specific.
Bruce: I've heard of Hunters. I just don't let them in my city.
Sam: *eyeroll * Whatever, I guess. Long as you and your friends keep your city safe.
Bruce: Exactly. I don't overstretch myself.
Sam: *pats him on the shoulder* *heh. he just patted batman* *cranking up the snot quotient* That's good. Got to take care of yourself.
Bruce: *snort* You're going to have to do better than that.
Sam: Damn it. *scratching the back if his neck* My barbs aren't up to batman par. Woe.
Bruce: Happens to the best of us. Go give Nightwing a call and come back in a week.
Sam: *head pops up* Holyshit, dude. Nightwing. *snort* *under his breath* Oh man. We're definitely dead.
Bruce: If this is the best the afterlife can do, the powers that be have something to answer for.
Sam: You're tellin' me. *points* Though I suppose a school for magic is better than... dunno. like. a School for the Gifted. I mean, mutants are like one-trick ponies, right?
Bruce: *eyebrow* .... mutants.
Sam: *grinning at his own cleverness, until he realizes Bruce has no idea what he's talking about* *waves it off* Never mind. *ponders alternate universes* *but oh man, there's batman and no wolverine? DUDE. Unfair*
Bruce: *idly wondering if he was dropped on his head as a child*
Sam: *idly wondering if the Joker didn't maybe drop Batman once too many times and damage the speech center of his brain*
Batman: *is the master of ellipses, not small talk*
Sam: *default comment voice* Awesome. *nods* What um, house are you in, anyway?
Batman: Ravenclaw. You're Gryffindor, I assume.
Sam: Yep. But I have a lot of love for the Ravenclaw bar. Don't have a lot of time to drink, but you've got to respect the smart kids that do.
Batman: You'll get along great with Clark. *sigh*
Sam: ...Clark?
Batman: Superman.
Sam: *huge eyes for a second* Dude. No way.
Batman: He's got that same aversion to moral ambiguity
Sam: hey man, there's nothing morally ambiguous about drowning kids, killing road trippers and generally being homicidal. *and, oh dunno. killing my mother, etc.* *pfftface*
Bruce: Mmmhm.
Sam: Right. Well. *points over his shoulder* I'd better.
Bruce: Probably for the best.
Sam: *nods* Later, man. *Duuude. Welcome to his childhood, dying one eensy bit at a time; what next? the Lucky Charms Leprechaun?*
Bruce: *crosses arms, stares back*
Sam: Dude. I thought you were like, an urban legend.
Bruce: That's an upgrade. Most people call me a myth.
Sam: *snicker* Yeah. Most people don't believe shit they actually see, so-- *shrug*
Bruce: Point. *shrug*
Sam: ...So you actually have a Batmobile?
Bruce: ... yep.
Sam: *'heh's under his breath* You so have to meet my brother.
Bruce: He's not a fanboy, is he?
Sam: Nah *and if he were, he wouldn't be weird about it* He's big on cars. Mostly his '67Impala, but yeah. Batmobile. Even I'd be down with that.
Bruce: *nods sagely* It handles really well on tight curves. *is that a joke? Who can say...*
Sam: ...*snicker* *sam's version of facepalming is generally looking away and back, and so he totally does* *dude, batman's a perv* You could say that, I guess. *still snickering*
Bruce: *is SO not a perv and didn't mean it that way!* *god, kids today, rar* *narrowed eyes*
Sam: *what? he lives with Dean for godsake; everything's an innuendo* So vigilantism.
Batman: It's a good gig.
Sam: *laughs* oh Man. You got connections with the law to keep from ending up on the FBI's most wanted?
Batman: In theory. I've saved them often enough they leave me alone.
Sam: Hrm.. There's an idea. *eyebrow* Oh! Hey! 'Sthat mean thre's like, a Joker, too?
Batman: *pained* Can we not talk about him?
Sam: *whoa. There IS a Joker.* Yeah, sure. Sorry? *looks around* *oh man, batman, not so much with the congeniality* *then again, hello, Sam. He's Batman* My brother and I hunt demons. *said probably too late to explain the FBI list comment* *and also in that it makes them sort of vigilantes too right?* *they're so not like batman, though* *DUDE. BATMAN. IS REAL.* *totally cool on the outside*
Bruce: *sighs* *tries very hard not to facepalm*
Sam: *sighs, too, doing very badly in his attempt to be friendly* Um. Beer?
Bruce: I don't drink in uniform. *uncomfortable silence* *pause, pause* ... demons?
Sam: Oh. Right. Be a little weird, I guess. *would be whistling and looking around if this was a cartoon; jesus* *suddenly looks a little less uncomfortable and a little more sure of himself* Demons. We find them and stop them from hurting people. Which generally involves wasting them.
Bruce: .... right. narrows eyes again So. You know they're actually evil how?
Sam: *his turn to give batman the 'duh' eyebrow* ...because they kill people?
Bruce: * ..... * *sigh* Have you ever heard of Zatana?
Sam: No. *matter of fact* Does she try and drown the families of people that were responsible for her death?
Bruce: Heh. She might, if someone drowned her.
Sam: *shrugs* See, and that would put her in the 'evil' column and subject to smitage.
Bruce: She's my best friend and trusted ally. *dryly* She's number four on my speed dial.
Sam: *headtilt; gee thanks for the bait there, Bruce* Then it's a damn good thing no one's tried to drown her, I'm guessing.
Bruce: I'm perfectly aware she taps the powers of hell to do her magic. I'm just not really concerned about it.
Sam: I'm pretty sure hell's linked into my head, too, but I don't go around killing innocent people.
Bruce: ... I didn't say anything about innocent people.
Sam: Guess that would be why we don't know her.
Bruce: Not everything calling itself a 'demon' is working at cross purposes to you. And calling yourself a demon hunter will put you at risk both of running afoul of a potential ally and being used by people who don't know the difference.
Sam: Generally, we're referred to as 'Hunters', which , for one, I'm surprised you've never heard, and for two, around here you have to be specific.
Bruce: I've heard of Hunters. I just don't let them in my city.
Sam: *eyeroll * Whatever, I guess. Long as you and your friends keep your city safe.
Bruce: Exactly. I don't overstretch myself.
Sam: *pats him on the shoulder* *heh. he just patted batman* *cranking up the snot quotient* That's good. Got to take care of yourself.
Bruce: *snort* You're going to have to do better than that.
Sam: Damn it. *scratching the back if his neck* My barbs aren't up to batman par. Woe.
Bruce: Happens to the best of us. Go give Nightwing a call and come back in a week.
Sam: *head pops up* Holyshit, dude. Nightwing. *snort* *under his breath* Oh man. We're definitely dead.
Bruce: If this is the best the afterlife can do, the powers that be have something to answer for.
Sam: You're tellin' me. *points* Though I suppose a school for magic is better than... dunno. like. a School for the Gifted. I mean, mutants are like one-trick ponies, right?
Bruce: *eyebrow* .... mutants.
Sam: *grinning at his own cleverness, until he realizes Bruce has no idea what he's talking about* *waves it off* Never mind. *ponders alternate universes* *but oh man, there's batman and no wolverine? DUDE. Unfair*
Bruce: *idly wondering if he was dropped on his head as a child*
Sam: *idly wondering if the Joker didn't maybe drop Batman once too many times and damage the speech center of his brain*
Batman: *is the master of ellipses, not small talk*
Sam: *default comment voice* Awesome. *nods* What um, house are you in, anyway?
Batman: Ravenclaw. You're Gryffindor, I assume.
Sam: Yep. But I have a lot of love for the Ravenclaw bar. Don't have a lot of time to drink, but you've got to respect the smart kids that do.
Batman: You'll get along great with Clark. *sigh*
Sam: ...Clark?
Batman: Superman.
Sam: *huge eyes for a second* Dude. No way.
Batman: He's got that same aversion to moral ambiguity
Sam: hey man, there's nothing morally ambiguous about drowning kids, killing road trippers and generally being homicidal. *and, oh dunno. killing my mother, etc.* *pfftface*
Bruce: Mmmhm.
Sam: Right. Well. *points over his shoulder* I'd better.
Bruce: Probably for the best.
Sam: *nods* Later, man. *Duuude. Welcome to his childhood, dying one eensy bit at a time; what next? the Lucky Charms Leprechaun?*