#37: Rotation, KyuHan
Title; Rotation
Fandom/Pairing; Hankyung/Kyuhyun (12/100!)
Rating; R
Summary; Kyuhyun could barely remember anything. He couldn’t remember why he was running, or how long he was running. And he didn’t want anyone to stop him. That’s what he thought.
Author's Note; KyuHan is a pairing that I really like, even though lots of people know that I ship almost anyone/anyone. As a warning, this is kind of how I've been channeling my angsty feelings lately. I started it at the beginning of the month, and even though I'm in the city now, I've had time at night to work on it like a madwoman. I had a hard time deciding on the rating. There's some smut, but it's not detailed. I like this a lot. It's about 8 pages, and it's the longest I've written for this fic challenge. Also, this is dedicated to Annie, because I love the KyuHan she writes. I hope this is okay XD
Word Count; 3108
rotation
---
Kyuhyun could barely remember anything.
He couldn’t remember why he was running, or how long he was running, or why his head was pounding, or why his heart hurt so fucking much, or why his arms were bleeding.
But maybe his head was pounding because his arms were bleeding because his heart hurt so fucking much.
That was about as much sense as he could make of what was happening, all the while legs still pumping and feet still kicking the ground to get him further ahead of himself. What was he running from? If only he could remember…
“Filthy, disgusting! That’s what you are!”
“Appa, stop it! Kyuhyun-ah, you-”
Even when the words forced themselves back into his mind, Kyuhyun just pushed them back out. Still sprinting, he dragged his fingernails across his arms, just to make sure the bleeding wouldn’t stop.
That still didn’t explain why he was running. But then he realized inside that if he were to just walk, it wouldn’t be the same. The effect would be different. Plus, someone could stop him easily if he were just walking.
And he didn’t want anyone to stop him.
Don’t come after me. Don’t.
Goodbye.
Kyuhyun didn’t want anyone to stop him. That’s what he thought.
Hankyung…
He closed his eyes, kicking the sidewalk behind him in his desperate attempt to run faster. So desperate. He needed to get away from himself, now.
Thinking of how much Hankyung cares about him made Kyuhyun feel even more like dying. Because no one should care that much. Why were the words ‘I love you’ always flowing out from between those perfect lips? Why was Kyuhyun always so anxious and excited after school to see Hankyung sitting on that black motorcycle and looking so perfect, like he’d been created by some master artist?
--
You’re standing in a cold hallway. You don’t know exactly why Donghae decided to drag you along to his dance studio today-he should know that you suck at dancing. That’s because you’re just a musician, not a physical performer. That’s the way you always have been. Always will be. But Donghae still persists that you come with.
“Show off,” you scoff with a laugh as Donghae starts waving and popping as he’s looking for the right room.
“This way,” he ignores your comment. He tends to do that when you’re snarky. Then again, you’re snarky a lot, you know?
Donghae opens a door to your right. There’s already a slight hum of music emitting from behind it, and as it swings open, the volume intensifies and brightens.
There’s someone in there. You don’t know who he is, but you just know that he’s gorgeous. Not just his face, which you finally see once he spins around in a pirouette, but his movements-so fluid and clean that you wonder if such a person could really exist, or if this is all an illusion.
But then he stops dancing, and you wonder why. You find yourself frowning, and wanting to cry out to him. Why did you stop? Why?
“Hey, Hankyung,” Donghae says cheerily.
Long legs carry Hankyung over to the speakers where his music is playing. He turns it off and spins around to face you two at the door, a warm smile on his face.
“Hey,” he answers as his eyes travel swiftly from Donghae to you with curiosity. They land back on the former to ask a question. “Who’s this?”
Donghae slings an arm around your shoulder. “My good buddy Kyuhyun. I had to hold him captive and take him here by force because he claims he’ll always suck at dancing.”
Hankyung laughs. You want to hear that sound again. “Well, maybe I can help fix that.”
Your sarcastic tendency catches you by the wrist. “Doubt it. I’m pretty fucking bad.”
That laugh comes back. “Will you let me try?”
--
Kyuhyun loved him so much he wants to cry. He might even love Hankyung more than he’s loved by Hankyung, but if he thought to bring up a competition about it, it’d only bring a slight frown to his love’s face. Kyuhyun never wanted to see Hankyung frown.
But he could just picture it now as he ran. He could picture a frown plaguing that beautiful face upon reading the note Kyuhyun had stuck in his mailbox before he left-before he started running.
--
You love the summer. Even though your birthday is in the winter and you’re practically a child of the snow, you can hardly wait for the warm weather to kick in and wrap around you, even if dreaded humidity comes along with it.
But you love this summer the most.
Hankyung’s down turned expression looks completely and utterly wrong on his face. You need to fix it.
“What’s the matter?” you ask, trying to ignore the fact that Hankyung has just come out of Donghae’s pool and happens to be dripping wet. It’s beyond distracting, but you hold in any wandering thoughts.
He takes a towel that you hand him. “I don’t know how to say anything.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know how to tell someone how I feel.”
Your face turns red. “Oh.”
In a few seconds, you definitely love this summer the most.
“I like you.”
You stare. You stare at Hankyung-completely baffled. Always thinking this was one-sided, you never expected those words to come out of him.
“I guess I figured out how to say it, huh?” a nervous chuckle emits from his throat. You want to say something, but you can’t.
So you express it. So you kiss him. Gently, slowly on the lips, in a kiss that’s barely there but so obviously there.
Summer is your favorite.
--
Kyuhyun heard the sound of a roaring engine. He came to a complete halt and stands with eyelids spread wide open to the brink of pain as he scanned the road. A black blur of a bike zipped past him, and he didn’t notice how close he was standing to the edge of the sidewalk until he felt the huge gust of wind push him back and make his bleeding arms feel cold.
But as he watches the dark blur on a motorcycle disappear into a dot, he realizes that it’s not Hankyung. Kyuhyun keeps running, taking off as if he’d never stopped in the first place.
It wasn’t summer anymore. It was nearing winter, but even though the forecast says that snow showers were coming by the next day, his body felt so incredibly heated. Kyuhyun’s body wanted him to think he’s still living in the summerland of his dreams where everything was fine.
--
Hands with long and delicate fingers are covering your eyes. You want to know what’s in front of them, but you don’t mind the wait. Hankyung’s surprises are also favorites of yours.
“Okay,” he says, and you can tell how widely he’s grinning as those fingers fold away from your face.
“Whoa,” your eyes widen as you examine the specimen before your eyes-a sleek black motorcycle. It must be Hankyung’s. Black is his best color.
Hankyung sits on the seat and grabs the helmet from the handlebars. “I’ve had this for years. And I wanted to surprise you with it,” he tosses the helmet into your hands, which manage to catch it besides the fact that you’re still in awe-especially now that Hankyung is sitting on the bike and it just makes the sight that more of a pleasure to you.
But then you glance down at the item in your hands, not doing anything but looking through your awed reflection on the front visor before Hankyung chuckles and starts to fasten it over your head for you. The smile in his eyes and on his lips makes you wish you could just stay like this forever, facing each other and at least being near each other.
He takes your hand.
“Ready for a ride?”
You nod, feeling like you’ve lost your voice. Hankyung just does that to you sometimes.
--
Kyuhyun wanted to live in the summer when his parents didn’t know that he’s in love with another young man who dances like no other person on this planet, looks especially hot in black clothing, and happens to drive a black motorcycle. The last few things weren’t the problem with Kyuhyun’s parents. They just never expected their son to be the kind of good, well-behaved child who happened to like other men.
They never wanted him to be that way.
They had other plans, as most controlling parents did.
Their little Kyuhyun would always just need to be an expert at math, excel at his clarinet playing, soar over the limits with his singing, and to find a nice and sweet and pretty young lady to take as his wife as he got older.
His sister Ara tried to coax their parents into acceptance. She used every tactic she could think of, and Kyuhyun knew she was trying to help. His noona was always trying to help.
Except, she couldn’t help him now.
--
“How can you just cast him away so easily?” Ara stands in front of you. She’s shorter than you by a head, but she still feels like she’s your fortress. And she’s the only one in this house who wants to protect you.
Your father tries to stare her down. But your noona is one of the strongest girls you know. She can withstand the father-glare for at least ten seconds.
“I don’t approve of his sexual rotation.”
Both you and Ara look at him in confusion.
“You mean, orientation?” she offers as a correction.
“Well, he used to date girls, didn’t he?” your father then switches his audience to just you, capturing your eyes with his flaming ones. “And you threw most of them aside like you were rotating around a clock! Now you’re doing men, too? What’s the matter with you?”
The words cut deep.
“You’re sick!”
“Appa!” Ara tries to take your hand, but you pull away. You don’t want her comfort now.
“He’s twisted! Fucking twisted, Ara!”
Deeper than a knife.
--
The whole street seemed emptier than usual. Kyuhyun walked over the crosswalk, staring out to one side, and then to the other side. No cars. No bikes. A few people on the sidewalk, but otherwise, he was completely alone.
It was like a perfect picture of his imperfect mind had come to life. A visual of how empty he felt when Hankyung wasn’t with him. Everything was all so dreary that he felt like screaming.
So he did. Kyuhyun opened his lips and screamed towards the ground, his voice cracking and breaking until they melted away into choked sobs. His despaired noises filled the empty street. They made it less lonely, even by just a bit.
He wanted to ask himself why he was running away, but he didn’t. He just let the wet drops fall from his eyes.
--
The first time he sees you cry is the first time you two have sex. You ran away from your house, fighting the tears the whole way. Until you reach the bus stop, and then you just stand there in no one’s company, letting the wailing fly out of your mouth like an inevitable downpour.
You don’t stop, and you don’t want to stop until a pair of arms is wrapped around you tight. Even though you can hardly open your eyes, you know who is holding you this way. Hankyung is holding you, and you don’t think about how he found you, or how he did it so fast. You just think about how much you love him and hope that the pain from your father will slip away.
Before you know it, you’re back at his house, and he’d led you in his arms the entire way from the bus. You’re not exactly sure if he carried you-your weeping was still at an intense high throughout the trip. You can barely settle down until he lays you down on something soft and kisses your forehead.
“Hankyung…” you whisper, grabbing him by the collar before those lips can get too far away.
He can feel how sensual yet needy your syllables are. Before he lets your lips crash together, he shivers a little.
You can figure out now that you’re on his bed, and you hope that if you keep kissing him, this will get further. And then you won’t have to think about all the pain you’re in if he starts touching you. Maybe you’ll forget about everything that’s had you crying in agony if he’s inside you.
All he does is kiss you, though. So you decide to give him permission to touch you more. You remove one hand from his collar and start rubbing the crotch of his pants. You feel him grow hard under your touch, moaning into your mouth.
His hands slide into your shirt and gently rub and slide over your chest. You love how this feels, but you want more than this. You want what you’re giving him, and more. You’re so desperate to have him inside you, even though it’ll be your first time this way.
When the clothes are out of the way, and he’s still looming over you with kisses and touches, you know that he is all you need to survive.
It’s painful, at first, as he enters you, but you know he’s trying to be gentle as you bite your lip and hold in any extra tears. Soon, the pain slips away, forgotten in the past like scorned words.
Rocking together as you tangle one hand in his hair and the other in the sheets, you simply enjoy the feeling of being filled and taken by this man you love.
Because he loves you back, and you know.
--
“Kyuhyun!”
The world stopped, for just a second. He was done screaming, but before he could fully take in the sight of a figure in black and white clothing approaching him with a face he’d pick out of crowd of millions, Kyuhyun turned. The tires slowly came to a stop. A foot hit the pavement. And Kyuhyun sprinted again.
“Kyuhyun! Stop!” Hankyung tried to shout after him, but he wouldn’t stop. And Hankyung knew this. Getting back on his bike, Hankyung shot off after the disappearing figure, trying to parallel himself with him.
Kyuhyun just wanted to start a fit again. He wanted to kick something, and hit, scratch, punch, throw, stomp, cry, scream, wail, moan, and everything else he could think of to unleash what he was feeling inside.
But most of all, he wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’.
--
Hankyung wraps you in his arms. He makes the darkness brighten and melt away into itself. That is what you want.
He kisses your face. He makes you smile when nothing else can.
You kiss him back. You don’t know it, but you make him remember how beautiful life is.
If only you could know this.
--
The next time Hankyung called out for him, Kyuhyun could’ve sworn he heard a crack in his voice. He didn’t look back, though, no matter how much he wanted to. The roaring of the engine was in Kyuhyun’s ears and he could picture the bike moving alongside him. But his eyes were closed.
Once he opened them, he knew it was a mistake. He looked into Hankyung’s eyes. Those eyes that he loved. He turned. Kyuhyun turned and ran into the park, trying to escape those eyes that he needed and wanted. And he could hear the engine come to a stop, and he tried to run faster but it was so hard. His whole body was screaming for him to just end this and give up escape.
Hankyung sprinted. He wasn’t as worn out as Kyuhyun-he hadn’t been running for who knows how long. He wasn’t sure how he’d found him in the first place. Hankyung had just jumped on his bike and headed off in any direction his heart told him to. And his heart was right. His heart had led him to Kyuhyun, in a strange and cliché sense.
Hankyung had always been faster than Kyuhyun. They tried racing a few times-they could both beat Donghae easily-but then when it came to the two of them, it was a bit of a struggle. But Hankyung still would win. So, he won now. Only it wasn’t a game.
He grabbed Kyuhyun by the shoulders so he wouldn’t touch the blood and wounds on his forearms. It so was not a game this time, even if Hankyung wished they had just been racing, and there were no marks or cuts or remains of red liquid.
Kyuhyun’s hands flew out to push him away. He sounded like a wild animal as he fought back, smacking Hankyung and scratching, but Hankyung didn’t let go. If anything, he held on tighter, pressing himself to Kyuhyun. He just waited for Kyuhyun to calm down and collapse into him. They both fell to the ground as Kyuhyun kept up his furious movements and struggling.
Hankyung waited, and waited. He waited through fingernails and blows and kicks.
Waited. And waited.
He rubbed Kyuhyun’s back, gently and firmly, not letting go. Red half moons and lines were forming on his own back, but he was still adamant about holding on.
And then his waiting paid off. Two shaking and damp arms wrapped around him. Kyuhyun’s whole body was shaking and twitching in pain and in sobs.
“I’m sorry…” he whispered.
Hankyung shushed him and held the younger man to his chest, holding in his own tears. He wanted to be strong for him. The arms he locked around Kyuhyun were so tight, but Kyuhyun didn’t care. He needed this more than he’d let himself believe.
“I’m sorry…” again, the words slipped from Kyuhyun’s mouth through his tears. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”
“Stop,” Hankyung said, lifting Kyuhyun’s chin up. “I don’t want you to be sorry.”
Kyuhyun closed his eyes and blinked away the tears as a hand came up to wipe them away. He said nothing, and he nodded. Strong arms hoisted him up and began to carry him away. This was where he felt safe, and he knew that as he clung to Hankyung for support.
He wanted to say out loud that he would never run away again. That he would never leave. That he never wanted to be away from Hankyung. That he loved him so deeply and passionately.
But he didn’t need to.
Hankyung just knew.
Fandom/Pairing; Hankyung/Kyuhyun (12/100!)
Rating; R
Summary; Kyuhyun could barely remember anything. He couldn’t remember why he was running, or how long he was running. And he didn’t want anyone to stop him. That’s what he thought.
Author's Note; KyuHan is a pairing that I really like, even though lots of people know that I ship almost anyone/anyone. As a warning, this is kind of how I've been channeling my angsty feelings lately. I started it at the beginning of the month, and even though I'm in the city now, I've had time at night to work on it like a madwoman. I had a hard time deciding on the rating. There's some smut, but it's not detailed. I like this a lot. It's about 8 pages, and it's the longest I've written for this fic challenge. Also, this is dedicated to Annie, because I love the KyuHan she writes. I hope this is okay XD
Word Count; 3108
rotation
---
Kyuhyun could barely remember anything.
He couldn’t remember why he was running, or how long he was running, or why his head was pounding, or why his heart hurt so fucking much, or why his arms were bleeding.
But maybe his head was pounding because his arms were bleeding because his heart hurt so fucking much.
That was about as much sense as he could make of what was happening, all the while legs still pumping and feet still kicking the ground to get him further ahead of himself. What was he running from? If only he could remember…
“Filthy, disgusting! That’s what you are!”
“Appa, stop it! Kyuhyun-ah, you-”
Even when the words forced themselves back into his mind, Kyuhyun just pushed them back out. Still sprinting, he dragged his fingernails across his arms, just to make sure the bleeding wouldn’t stop.
That still didn’t explain why he was running. But then he realized inside that if he were to just walk, it wouldn’t be the same. The effect would be different. Plus, someone could stop him easily if he were just walking.
And he didn’t want anyone to stop him.
Don’t come after me. Don’t.
Goodbye.
Kyuhyun didn’t want anyone to stop him. That’s what he thought.
Hankyung…
He closed his eyes, kicking the sidewalk behind him in his desperate attempt to run faster. So desperate. He needed to get away from himself, now.
Thinking of how much Hankyung cares about him made Kyuhyun feel even more like dying. Because no one should care that much. Why were the words ‘I love you’ always flowing out from between those perfect lips? Why was Kyuhyun always so anxious and excited after school to see Hankyung sitting on that black motorcycle and looking so perfect, like he’d been created by some master artist?
--
You’re standing in a cold hallway. You don’t know exactly why Donghae decided to drag you along to his dance studio today-he should know that you suck at dancing. That’s because you’re just a musician, not a physical performer. That’s the way you always have been. Always will be. But Donghae still persists that you come with.
“Show off,” you scoff with a laugh as Donghae starts waving and popping as he’s looking for the right room.
“This way,” he ignores your comment. He tends to do that when you’re snarky. Then again, you’re snarky a lot, you know?
Donghae opens a door to your right. There’s already a slight hum of music emitting from behind it, and as it swings open, the volume intensifies and brightens.
There’s someone in there. You don’t know who he is, but you just know that he’s gorgeous. Not just his face, which you finally see once he spins around in a pirouette, but his movements-so fluid and clean that you wonder if such a person could really exist, or if this is all an illusion.
But then he stops dancing, and you wonder why. You find yourself frowning, and wanting to cry out to him. Why did you stop? Why?
“Hey, Hankyung,” Donghae says cheerily.
Long legs carry Hankyung over to the speakers where his music is playing. He turns it off and spins around to face you two at the door, a warm smile on his face.
“Hey,” he answers as his eyes travel swiftly from Donghae to you with curiosity. They land back on the former to ask a question. “Who’s this?”
Donghae slings an arm around your shoulder. “My good buddy Kyuhyun. I had to hold him captive and take him here by force because he claims he’ll always suck at dancing.”
Hankyung laughs. You want to hear that sound again. “Well, maybe I can help fix that.”
Your sarcastic tendency catches you by the wrist. “Doubt it. I’m pretty fucking bad.”
That laugh comes back. “Will you let me try?”
--
Kyuhyun loved him so much he wants to cry. He might even love Hankyung more than he’s loved by Hankyung, but if he thought to bring up a competition about it, it’d only bring a slight frown to his love’s face. Kyuhyun never wanted to see Hankyung frown.
But he could just picture it now as he ran. He could picture a frown plaguing that beautiful face upon reading the note Kyuhyun had stuck in his mailbox before he left-before he started running.
--
You love the summer. Even though your birthday is in the winter and you’re practically a child of the snow, you can hardly wait for the warm weather to kick in and wrap around you, even if dreaded humidity comes along with it.
But you love this summer the most.
Hankyung’s down turned expression looks completely and utterly wrong on his face. You need to fix it.
“What’s the matter?” you ask, trying to ignore the fact that Hankyung has just come out of Donghae’s pool and happens to be dripping wet. It’s beyond distracting, but you hold in any wandering thoughts.
He takes a towel that you hand him. “I don’t know how to say anything.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know how to tell someone how I feel.”
Your face turns red. “Oh.”
In a few seconds, you definitely love this summer the most.
“I like you.”
You stare. You stare at Hankyung-completely baffled. Always thinking this was one-sided, you never expected those words to come out of him.
“I guess I figured out how to say it, huh?” a nervous chuckle emits from his throat. You want to say something, but you can’t.
So you express it. So you kiss him. Gently, slowly on the lips, in a kiss that’s barely there but so obviously there.
Summer is your favorite.
--
Kyuhyun heard the sound of a roaring engine. He came to a complete halt and stands with eyelids spread wide open to the brink of pain as he scanned the road. A black blur of a bike zipped past him, and he didn’t notice how close he was standing to the edge of the sidewalk until he felt the huge gust of wind push him back and make his bleeding arms feel cold.
But as he watches the dark blur on a motorcycle disappear into a dot, he realizes that it’s not Hankyung. Kyuhyun keeps running, taking off as if he’d never stopped in the first place.
It wasn’t summer anymore. It was nearing winter, but even though the forecast says that snow showers were coming by the next day, his body felt so incredibly heated. Kyuhyun’s body wanted him to think he’s still living in the summerland of his dreams where everything was fine.
--
Hands with long and delicate fingers are covering your eyes. You want to know what’s in front of them, but you don’t mind the wait. Hankyung’s surprises are also favorites of yours.
“Okay,” he says, and you can tell how widely he’s grinning as those fingers fold away from your face.
“Whoa,” your eyes widen as you examine the specimen before your eyes-a sleek black motorcycle. It must be Hankyung’s. Black is his best color.
Hankyung sits on the seat and grabs the helmet from the handlebars. “I’ve had this for years. And I wanted to surprise you with it,” he tosses the helmet into your hands, which manage to catch it besides the fact that you’re still in awe-especially now that Hankyung is sitting on the bike and it just makes the sight that more of a pleasure to you.
But then you glance down at the item in your hands, not doing anything but looking through your awed reflection on the front visor before Hankyung chuckles and starts to fasten it over your head for you. The smile in his eyes and on his lips makes you wish you could just stay like this forever, facing each other and at least being near each other.
He takes your hand.
“Ready for a ride?”
You nod, feeling like you’ve lost your voice. Hankyung just does that to you sometimes.
--
Kyuhyun wanted to live in the summer when his parents didn’t know that he’s in love with another young man who dances like no other person on this planet, looks especially hot in black clothing, and happens to drive a black motorcycle. The last few things weren’t the problem with Kyuhyun’s parents. They just never expected their son to be the kind of good, well-behaved child who happened to like other men.
They never wanted him to be that way.
They had other plans, as most controlling parents did.
Their little Kyuhyun would always just need to be an expert at math, excel at his clarinet playing, soar over the limits with his singing, and to find a nice and sweet and pretty young lady to take as his wife as he got older.
His sister Ara tried to coax their parents into acceptance. She used every tactic she could think of, and Kyuhyun knew she was trying to help. His noona was always trying to help.
Except, she couldn’t help him now.
--
“How can you just cast him away so easily?” Ara stands in front of you. She’s shorter than you by a head, but she still feels like she’s your fortress. And she’s the only one in this house who wants to protect you.
Your father tries to stare her down. But your noona is one of the strongest girls you know. She can withstand the father-glare for at least ten seconds.
“I don’t approve of his sexual rotation.”
Both you and Ara look at him in confusion.
“You mean, orientation?” she offers as a correction.
“Well, he used to date girls, didn’t he?” your father then switches his audience to just you, capturing your eyes with his flaming ones. “And you threw most of them aside like you were rotating around a clock! Now you’re doing men, too? What’s the matter with you?”
The words cut deep.
“You’re sick!”
“Appa!” Ara tries to take your hand, but you pull away. You don’t want her comfort now.
“He’s twisted! Fucking twisted, Ara!”
Deeper than a knife.
--
The whole street seemed emptier than usual. Kyuhyun walked over the crosswalk, staring out to one side, and then to the other side. No cars. No bikes. A few people on the sidewalk, but otherwise, he was completely alone.
It was like a perfect picture of his imperfect mind had come to life. A visual of how empty he felt when Hankyung wasn’t with him. Everything was all so dreary that he felt like screaming.
So he did. Kyuhyun opened his lips and screamed towards the ground, his voice cracking and breaking until they melted away into choked sobs. His despaired noises filled the empty street. They made it less lonely, even by just a bit.
He wanted to ask himself why he was running away, but he didn’t. He just let the wet drops fall from his eyes.
--
The first time he sees you cry is the first time you two have sex. You ran away from your house, fighting the tears the whole way. Until you reach the bus stop, and then you just stand there in no one’s company, letting the wailing fly out of your mouth like an inevitable downpour.
You don’t stop, and you don’t want to stop until a pair of arms is wrapped around you tight. Even though you can hardly open your eyes, you know who is holding you this way. Hankyung is holding you, and you don’t think about how he found you, or how he did it so fast. You just think about how much you love him and hope that the pain from your father will slip away.
Before you know it, you’re back at his house, and he’d led you in his arms the entire way from the bus. You’re not exactly sure if he carried you-your weeping was still at an intense high throughout the trip. You can barely settle down until he lays you down on something soft and kisses your forehead.
“Hankyung…” you whisper, grabbing him by the collar before those lips can get too far away.
He can feel how sensual yet needy your syllables are. Before he lets your lips crash together, he shivers a little.
You can figure out now that you’re on his bed, and you hope that if you keep kissing him, this will get further. And then you won’t have to think about all the pain you’re in if he starts touching you. Maybe you’ll forget about everything that’s had you crying in agony if he’s inside you.
All he does is kiss you, though. So you decide to give him permission to touch you more. You remove one hand from his collar and start rubbing the crotch of his pants. You feel him grow hard under your touch, moaning into your mouth.
His hands slide into your shirt and gently rub and slide over your chest. You love how this feels, but you want more than this. You want what you’re giving him, and more. You’re so desperate to have him inside you, even though it’ll be your first time this way.
When the clothes are out of the way, and he’s still looming over you with kisses and touches, you know that he is all you need to survive.
It’s painful, at first, as he enters you, but you know he’s trying to be gentle as you bite your lip and hold in any extra tears. Soon, the pain slips away, forgotten in the past like scorned words.
Rocking together as you tangle one hand in his hair and the other in the sheets, you simply enjoy the feeling of being filled and taken by this man you love.
Because he loves you back, and you know.
--
“Kyuhyun!”
The world stopped, for just a second. He was done screaming, but before he could fully take in the sight of a figure in black and white clothing approaching him with a face he’d pick out of crowd of millions, Kyuhyun turned. The tires slowly came to a stop. A foot hit the pavement. And Kyuhyun sprinted again.
“Kyuhyun! Stop!” Hankyung tried to shout after him, but he wouldn’t stop. And Hankyung knew this. Getting back on his bike, Hankyung shot off after the disappearing figure, trying to parallel himself with him.
Kyuhyun just wanted to start a fit again. He wanted to kick something, and hit, scratch, punch, throw, stomp, cry, scream, wail, moan, and everything else he could think of to unleash what he was feeling inside.
But most of all, he wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’.
--
Hankyung wraps you in his arms. He makes the darkness brighten and melt away into itself. That is what you want.
He kisses your face. He makes you smile when nothing else can.
You kiss him back. You don’t know it, but you make him remember how beautiful life is.
If only you could know this.
--
The next time Hankyung called out for him, Kyuhyun could’ve sworn he heard a crack in his voice. He didn’t look back, though, no matter how much he wanted to. The roaring of the engine was in Kyuhyun’s ears and he could picture the bike moving alongside him. But his eyes were closed.
Once he opened them, he knew it was a mistake. He looked into Hankyung’s eyes. Those eyes that he loved. He turned. Kyuhyun turned and ran into the park, trying to escape those eyes that he needed and wanted. And he could hear the engine come to a stop, and he tried to run faster but it was so hard. His whole body was screaming for him to just end this and give up escape.
Hankyung sprinted. He wasn’t as worn out as Kyuhyun-he hadn’t been running for who knows how long. He wasn’t sure how he’d found him in the first place. Hankyung had just jumped on his bike and headed off in any direction his heart told him to. And his heart was right. His heart had led him to Kyuhyun, in a strange and cliché sense.
Hankyung had always been faster than Kyuhyun. They tried racing a few times-they could both beat Donghae easily-but then when it came to the two of them, it was a bit of a struggle. But Hankyung still would win. So, he won now. Only it wasn’t a game.
He grabbed Kyuhyun by the shoulders so he wouldn’t touch the blood and wounds on his forearms. It so was not a game this time, even if Hankyung wished they had just been racing, and there were no marks or cuts or remains of red liquid.
Kyuhyun’s hands flew out to push him away. He sounded like a wild animal as he fought back, smacking Hankyung and scratching, but Hankyung didn’t let go. If anything, he held on tighter, pressing himself to Kyuhyun. He just waited for Kyuhyun to calm down and collapse into him. They both fell to the ground as Kyuhyun kept up his furious movements and struggling.
Hankyung waited, and waited. He waited through fingernails and blows and kicks.
Waited. And waited.
He rubbed Kyuhyun’s back, gently and firmly, not letting go. Red half moons and lines were forming on his own back, but he was still adamant about holding on.
And then his waiting paid off. Two shaking and damp arms wrapped around him. Kyuhyun’s whole body was shaking and twitching in pain and in sobs.
“I’m sorry…” he whispered.
Hankyung shushed him and held the younger man to his chest, holding in his own tears. He wanted to be strong for him. The arms he locked around Kyuhyun were so tight, but Kyuhyun didn’t care. He needed this more than he’d let himself believe.
“I’m sorry…” again, the words slipped from Kyuhyun’s mouth through his tears. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”
“Stop,” Hankyung said, lifting Kyuhyun’s chin up. “I don’t want you to be sorry.”
Kyuhyun closed his eyes and blinked away the tears as a hand came up to wipe them away. He said nothing, and he nodded. Strong arms hoisted him up and began to carry him away. This was where he felt safe, and he knew that as he clung to Hankyung for support.
He wanted to say out loud that he would never run away again. That he would never leave. That he never wanted to be away from Hankyung. That he loved him so deeply and passionately.
But he didn’t need to.
Hankyung just knew.