#84: Snowflakes, KyuHyuk
Title; Snowflakes
Fandom/Pairing; Eunhyuk/Kyuhyun
Rating; PG-13
Summary; Kyuhyun is the product of their mother's pain. Eunhyuk has always been a good hyung-listening and nodding.
Author's Note; I really like this. The song Kyuhyun's talking about is 'Monster' by Meg & Dia. It's kind of strange, but I hope you don't think it sucks XD
“His little whispers. Love me, love me…”
Eunhyuk glances up at Kyuhyun, whose whispers had caught his attention after sitting in the silence of the snowfall for over an hour. There is confusion in the older boy’s eyes as he catches the younger one’s.
“That’s all I ask for. Love me, love me…”
He has no idea what Kyuhyun’s going on about this time. He could choose to ignore him, but he’s always been a good hyung-listening and nodding. So he nods.
“Song lyrics,” says Kyuhyun. “They describe me pretty well, don’t you think?”
The way the snow flutters down around his half-brother’s face is stunning. Eunhyuk nods, wishing he could’ve been born has beautiful. He guesses, though, that it was the curse Kyuhyun was born with by being the product of their mother’s pain that made him that way.
“Because no one loves me,” muses Kyuhyun.
“That’s not true,” objects Eunhyuk. “Mom loved you.”
He leaves himself out of the picture. Eunhyuk loves his half-brother the way he should, but he never fully accepted him, almost like Eunhyuk’s father never accepted the son that wasn’t his at all.
“Mom died because of my existence,” Kyuhyun sneers. “And don’t you dare try to tell me that my father loved me.”
The two brothers lock into a stare. Even if Eunhyuk tries to refute what Kyuhyun said about their mother, he knows that there is one colossal piece of evidence working against him that is standing by the two of them.
Their mother’s grave.
Every February 21st since her death, they would come to this place together. They would stand or sit by the cold and icy grave, as if they were waiting for something or someone to always show up, but they never did. There were years where they’d never talk and just sit, getting covered by endlessly falling snow for hours.
“This sucks,” Kyuhyun scoffs, kicking up some snow.
Eunhyuk keeps staring at his little brother.
“Maybe I should die. Then Mom and Dad and I can all be together-like some sick and twisted family of rape and murder.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” Kyuhyun snaps.
“Die.”
“Like you care. There’s no one left in this world who cares about me. The one person I had is dead. Don’t you understand that? She was your mother, too,” when Kyuhyun finishes, Eunhyuk can see the desire to cry behind his brother’s eyes. But Kyuhyun has learned to stand strong, and he knew who’d told him that-their mother.
So Kyuhyun doesn’t cry. Because first of all, he doesn’t want to disgrace his mother, and second of all because the last thing he wants is for Eunhyuk to see him cry. That would be the worst, he decides.
Kyuhyun tilts his head back and catches snowflakes with his tongue while Eunhyuk holds back his immediate response to the words that were spoken mere seconds ago.
He has a feeling that his brother won’t believe him even for a nanosecond if he tries to convince him that he actually cares. But the fault for that rests with Eunhyuk.
All their lives, Eunhyuk has been leading Kyuhyun to believe that it was impossible for them to be friends. Deep down inside, Eunhyuk has always owned a protective urge towards the younger boy. When Kyuhyun had been picked on as a child, Eunhyuk had been the only one willing to do take action.
Usually he called the teacher. But then things changed when they got older. When Eunhyuk grew stronger, he took care of it himself. Or, he tried to, at least.
Even then, Kyuhyun carried on believing that his older brother wasn’t really doing it for him, but for their mother.
And maybe it was partially for her. Eunhyuk always knew that their mother wanted him to protect Kyuhyun. But there was something inside him that wanted to protect him even without a mother’s prompting.
Correction: there is a part of him that wants to protect his brother. From the mean kids at school, or the monsters in his closet or under his bed, or the whispers of their neighbors from when they still lived in the same house-maybe even the rumors on the lips of Kyuhyun’s current neighbors.
Eunhyuk doesn’t know who Kyuhyun lives near, or with, or if he’s all alone. It sounds as if the latter is the case, and that scares Eunhyuk. There is no reason for Kyuhyun to be alone-at least in this older brother’s mind.
Kyuhyun’s tongue is starting to feel cold. He closes his mouth and savors the feeling of having it be warm again. Especially when the rest of his body is so freezing.
“I care.”
Kyuhyun holds back a laugh, although part of him wants him to let it go all in Eunhyuk’s sorry face, cackling like a hyena. Then, the older brother would understand that Kyuhyun doesn’t want anyone to care.
At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.
He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets, and although his reaction should be to glare at him and try to stare him down into taking back that stupid ‘I care’, Kyuhyun just stares at him blankly.
“I c-”
“I heard you the first time,” says Kyuhyun. He kicks his boot into the snow, a half-scowl on his face.
Eunhyuk waits for the rest of his reply. Does Kyuhyun even care that he cares? Does Kyuhyun even believe him this time?
“Thanks.”
The reply is scoffed. To most people’s ears, it would be heard as an insult. It would be interpreted as ‘fuck off’ or ‘suck it’. But Eunhyuk doesn’t hear it as such.
It’s something Eunhyuk hears as a real thank you, but on his younger half-brother’s own terms. Kyuhyun always says thank you in his own way, and most of the time, the way the words slipped out of his mouth are in an ungrateful manner. It always sounds like he doesn’t mean it.
But that’s how Kyuhyun is.
“Hear that, Mom?” the younger of the two looks down at the grave. “I just thanked him.”
The two brothers sit completely still and quiet for a moment, as if they’re expecting a response. And maybe they are.
Kyuhyun stands up straight from the tree he’s leaning on, eyes flickering to Eunhyuk for a brief second before averting again.
“Sometimes, I have to admit, I don’t mind being related to you,” his eyes wind up on his shoe, covered in snow.
“Wow.”
“Don’t get too excited there,” Kyuhyun smirks. “I thank you, but I’d appreciate it even more if you chose to stay out of the caring process when it comes to me, hyung.”
Eunhyuk says nothing.
Taking in the silence, Kyuhyun nods to himself and turns to walk away. The older brother watches his back disappear in the glowing light of the dusk, surrounded by snowflakes, slowly falling…slowly falling…
Eunhyuk finally speaks.
“See you in a year, brother.”
Fandom/Pairing; Eunhyuk/Kyuhyun
Rating; PG-13
Summary; Kyuhyun is the product of their mother's pain. Eunhyuk has always been a good hyung-listening and nodding.
Author's Note; I really like this. The song Kyuhyun's talking about is 'Monster' by Meg & Dia. It's kind of strange, but I hope you don't think it sucks XD
“His little whispers. Love me, love me…”
Eunhyuk glances up at Kyuhyun, whose whispers had caught his attention after sitting in the silence of the snowfall for over an hour. There is confusion in the older boy’s eyes as he catches the younger one’s.
“That’s all I ask for. Love me, love me…”
He has no idea what Kyuhyun’s going on about this time. He could choose to ignore him, but he’s always been a good hyung-listening and nodding. So he nods.
“Song lyrics,” says Kyuhyun. “They describe me pretty well, don’t you think?”
The way the snow flutters down around his half-brother’s face is stunning. Eunhyuk nods, wishing he could’ve been born has beautiful. He guesses, though, that it was the curse Kyuhyun was born with by being the product of their mother’s pain that made him that way.
“Because no one loves me,” muses Kyuhyun.
“That’s not true,” objects Eunhyuk. “Mom loved you.”
He leaves himself out of the picture. Eunhyuk loves his half-brother the way he should, but he never fully accepted him, almost like Eunhyuk’s father never accepted the son that wasn’t his at all.
“Mom died because of my existence,” Kyuhyun sneers. “And don’t you dare try to tell me that my father loved me.”
The two brothers lock into a stare. Even if Eunhyuk tries to refute what Kyuhyun said about their mother, he knows that there is one colossal piece of evidence working against him that is standing by the two of them.
Their mother’s grave.
Every February 21st since her death, they would come to this place together. They would stand or sit by the cold and icy grave, as if they were waiting for something or someone to always show up, but they never did. There were years where they’d never talk and just sit, getting covered by endlessly falling snow for hours.
“This sucks,” Kyuhyun scoffs, kicking up some snow.
Eunhyuk keeps staring at his little brother.
“Maybe I should die. Then Mom and Dad and I can all be together-like some sick and twisted family of rape and murder.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” Kyuhyun snaps.
“Die.”
“Like you care. There’s no one left in this world who cares about me. The one person I had is dead. Don’t you understand that? She was your mother, too,” when Kyuhyun finishes, Eunhyuk can see the desire to cry behind his brother’s eyes. But Kyuhyun has learned to stand strong, and he knew who’d told him that-their mother.
So Kyuhyun doesn’t cry. Because first of all, he doesn’t want to disgrace his mother, and second of all because the last thing he wants is for Eunhyuk to see him cry. That would be the worst, he decides.
Kyuhyun tilts his head back and catches snowflakes with his tongue while Eunhyuk holds back his immediate response to the words that were spoken mere seconds ago.
He has a feeling that his brother won’t believe him even for a nanosecond if he tries to convince him that he actually cares. But the fault for that rests with Eunhyuk.
All their lives, Eunhyuk has been leading Kyuhyun to believe that it was impossible for them to be friends. Deep down inside, Eunhyuk has always owned a protective urge towards the younger boy. When Kyuhyun had been picked on as a child, Eunhyuk had been the only one willing to do take action.
Usually he called the teacher. But then things changed when they got older. When Eunhyuk grew stronger, he took care of it himself. Or, he tried to, at least.
Even then, Kyuhyun carried on believing that his older brother wasn’t really doing it for him, but for their mother.
And maybe it was partially for her. Eunhyuk always knew that their mother wanted him to protect Kyuhyun. But there was something inside him that wanted to protect him even without a mother’s prompting.
Correction: there is a part of him that wants to protect his brother. From the mean kids at school, or the monsters in his closet or under his bed, or the whispers of their neighbors from when they still lived in the same house-maybe even the rumors on the lips of Kyuhyun’s current neighbors.
Eunhyuk doesn’t know who Kyuhyun lives near, or with, or if he’s all alone. It sounds as if the latter is the case, and that scares Eunhyuk. There is no reason for Kyuhyun to be alone-at least in this older brother’s mind.
Kyuhyun’s tongue is starting to feel cold. He closes his mouth and savors the feeling of having it be warm again. Especially when the rest of his body is so freezing.
“I care.”
Kyuhyun holds back a laugh, although part of him wants him to let it go all in Eunhyuk’s sorry face, cackling like a hyena. Then, the older brother would understand that Kyuhyun doesn’t want anyone to care.
At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.
He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets, and although his reaction should be to glare at him and try to stare him down into taking back that stupid ‘I care’, Kyuhyun just stares at him blankly.
“I c-”
“I heard you the first time,” says Kyuhyun. He kicks his boot into the snow, a half-scowl on his face.
Eunhyuk waits for the rest of his reply. Does Kyuhyun even care that he cares? Does Kyuhyun even believe him this time?
“Thanks.”
The reply is scoffed. To most people’s ears, it would be heard as an insult. It would be interpreted as ‘fuck off’ or ‘suck it’. But Eunhyuk doesn’t hear it as such.
It’s something Eunhyuk hears as a real thank you, but on his younger half-brother’s own terms. Kyuhyun always says thank you in his own way, and most of the time, the way the words slipped out of his mouth are in an ungrateful manner. It always sounds like he doesn’t mean it.
But that’s how Kyuhyun is.
“Hear that, Mom?” the younger of the two looks down at the grave. “I just thanked him.”
The two brothers sit completely still and quiet for a moment, as if they’re expecting a response. And maybe they are.
Kyuhyun stands up straight from the tree he’s leaning on, eyes flickering to Eunhyuk for a brief second before averting again.
“Sometimes, I have to admit, I don’t mind being related to you,” his eyes wind up on his shoe, covered in snow.
“Wow.”
“Don’t get too excited there,” Kyuhyun smirks. “I thank you, but I’d appreciate it even more if you chose to stay out of the caring process when it comes to me, hyung.”
Eunhyuk says nothing.
Taking in the silence, Kyuhyun nods to himself and turns to walk away. The older brother watches his back disappear in the glowing light of the dusk, surrounded by snowflakes, slowly falling…slowly falling…
Eunhyuk finally speaks.
“See you in a year, brother.”