television personalities/tony danza [b-side]

[donna_u_wanna]

I just had this terrible dream that I was being raped by Tony Danza.  I was on a couch at a party in a room full of friends and family.  he was sitting right next to me, making small talk, slowly pulling a comforter over both of us, and the next thing I thing I know, he's uncomfortably close and I'm pushing, pushing with my side, with all my weight

Comments

[shamgogo]

Crap. Are you ok? Tony Danza is totally evil.

[donna_u_wanna]

yeah, I'm fine. I was a mess this morning though. I mean, the dream was a combination of incidents--one that happened during high school (the party setting, the bigger overpowering man, the choking, the powerlessness, lots of people close by, but no one doing anything to stop it), as well as particular feelings and things that happened with Larry (feeling my fists and kicks fall into his fat, the groping in public, the menacing look, the feelings of being dominated and humiliated and degraded).... plus media weirdness.

and I know that it probably just happened because I'm being forced to take stock of these memories and think about them more, even though I come home and try hard not to (by watching hours of reruns on tv)... so.... I don't know.

I mean, I spoke to one of my trauma studies professors today though, so I think I'll be fine. it was just a dream. but I really don't think I can handle anything with Tony Danza anymore. (not like I'm missing much.)