when it's okay to hit a girl

[donnaidh_sidhe]

I was doing some browsing around the Interwebz and came across this article (note: photos of tasteless tchotchkes behind the cut) by some roundabout way, which spawned a reply in the form of this post. The comment at the end of it reminded me of a conversation I had just a few days ago with a friend:R: i keep hoping that somebody will attack the

Comments

[solar_diablo]

Whether through nature or nurture or both, the social perception is that violence is the baliwick of males. So when a female steps into a violent role (be it martial arts, sport, crime, or the military there is something of a psychological "hiccup", however small or brief, that takes place on the part of most people, in terms of them having to readjust preconceived notions of gender roles. You see this from both men and women in debates over women in combat, whether a male can actually be physically abused by his female partner, or (as in the link you provide) whether it's possible to discriminate between violence against women (abhorrent) vs. violence against men (somewhat expected, easier to dismiss as playful "patriarchy jamming"). I myself admit to falling into these patterns - I know that, assuming the same degree and type of antagonism, I am more readily accepting of the idea of hitting a male who is violent toward me than I am of hitting a woman. It's simply what I've been taught - violence toward men is sometimes an

[donnaidh_sidhe]

It's simply what I've been taught - violence toward men is sometimes an acceptable method of conflict resolution, violence toward women never so.

That's something that I hope will eventually equalize to "violence toward others is never acceptable." Respect for boundaries is something I've had for a long time regarding others, and I've spent the past couple of years learning how to enforce it with respect to myself. I very much hope that others feel the same, or are approaching feeling the same.

Re violence-based "patriarchy jamming," I don't condone it for the reasons I stated above. I can say I understand it, especially as a way of trying to force a general social acknowledgment of the validity of female strength -- "You think I'm weak and helpless? Then you won't mind if I do this." But this is a case of "patriarchy hurts men too" (in the non-dismissive sense), and people who rail against feminists as being the source of rising female violence are rather missing the point in my view