I told you so

[donnalee_kiss]

I found it interesting recently that a guy I really liked to talk to and really wanted to meet was dumped. I wasn't feeling he and his g/f, who then turned into a wife, were good together at all and I told him that. Especially when people are just dating and they're not sexually compatible....that's really a sign you should not get married. She

Comments

[phecda]

I feel for the guy, but sometimes you just have to find this crap out for your self. It sucks. In my previous major relationship, I'm sure people were warning me what a train wreck it would be, but I was bound and determined to make it work. Things are so much better now.

[donnalee_kiss]

I can't help being the "I told you so" person. I don't like it when someone says to me something like "Oh you don't know her like I do." Yeah right.

I know her way better than you do bucko...

[roykay]

One of the most destructive bits of counsel people ever get - "Relationships take work." Implies that if you aren't struggling the relationship isn't real. So you have to "work" to validate your relationship and yourself.

My feeling is that if the relationship requires a lot of maintenance, it's probably bad for you.

[phecda]

Well, I both agree with that, and don't. I've been in relationships that demanded a lot of work, and they failed because there were fundamental issues that couldn't be overcome. That being said, that work made me better able to appreciate and maintain the relationship I'm currently in. So, perhaps a better statement is that relationships take maintenance.

Like a house, if there are structural problems, it's probably not a good idea to get involved in the first place, or to walk away from if you don't have the skills to fix it. But even with the best of houses, you expect to have to paint, clean the gutters, and even renovate when something doesn't work anymore. And sometimes it's just a case of knowing "Oh, if I remove a load bearing wall, the roof will cave in. So let's not do that."

(Apologies for the house metaphor, but I just bought one, so it's the filter I'm seeing the world through right now.)

[j_alan_b]

I can relate.
I'm blind as an eyeless fish in an underground lake when it comes to anything remotely involving a relationship. That said and well known already; I've been wanting to tell you about that girl I mentioned here on LJ.

EVEN I, the Blind man can see she is bad news for me. But i find myself Still talking to her for one BAD reason:
I got nothing else to do on the weekends.

it is possible to feel that even a bad relationship is preferable to no relationship. regardless of the consequences.

[donnalee_kiss]

I know dear, and I'd have wanted to have you over if there was not a 'problem' today. I don't want to go into the problem right now, I'm still too touchy about it.

[j_alan_b]

is all good. I'll try and call you again tomorrow mayhaps.