two and a half cops } { it's emasculating holding a purse
[MERRY CHRISTMAS booknerdguru! Set in twoandahalfcops. notanegothing is used with permission and love, and everyone referenced is part of the verse and used with permission.]
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
“I can’t believe you got off.”
Diana was leaning back in her lawn chair. This was her thing. She got off the day after Thanksgiving to get up at a ridiculous hour and finish all her Christmas shopping on Black Friday. Yes, she was aware it was insane. Yes, the rest of the world became lunatics on this day. But she was a lunatic along with them, so that tended to make everything okay. They were sitting along the side of the building at Macy’s, with chairs that could be packed up and strapped to their backs once it was over and a coffee cup in her hand.
“Yeah, well-when you said you had plans for the day after Thanksgiving, I didn’t think it would involve getting up at an insane hour and waiting in line to practically get trampled while shopping.”
She laughed. “Look, this is the last chance I will get until the next holiday to actually go shopping. I didn’t say you had to come with. You invited yourself.”
“I know, I know. It’s my own fault. But this also means this is the last time I will get to see you before the next holiday, so I might as well enjoy it, right?”
“You catch on much quicker than my uncle gives you credit for.”
There was a long pause. “You’ve been talking to your uncle about me?”
She shrugged with a smirk as she took another sip of her coffee. “Sometimes you come up.”
“You haven’t told him that we-” There was a vague finger gesture between the two of them, and she laughed.
“If they knew about that, you would know. Believe me.”
“That is not comforting.”
“It shouldn’t be.”
“ … You would think that’s something that should be, Di.”
There was a rumble from the front of the line, and Diana leaned forward, before starting to stand and gather her chair together. “Doors are opening. Almost time to go.”
“Are you kidding? You’re just going to leave this conversation at that and just expect me to let it go.”
“Well, that’s going to have to wait,” she said with a smirk. “Right now, it’s time to shop.”
***
Twelve hours, two malls, and two hundred dollars later, Diana and Danny were settling into the food court at their current mall, surrounded by bags and boxes, and drinking coffee. Diana had her list spread out on the table, and was going through the bags, crossing the presents off as she had them. Danny was watching her carefully, drinking his coffee, the same way he’d been watching her since they entered the first store. She knew that he’s still stewing over the conversation they had earlier, and she was letting him stew.
Yes, that probably made her a terrible girlfriend, but she was enjoying watching him squirm.
“I think I’m done,” she said with a sigh as she chewed on the straw of her coffee. “Look, you survived!”
“You’re done? Great, does that mean we could go back to the original conversation now?”
“Danny.” She looked over at him, and took a deep breath before pushing up from her chair and moving to sit on his lap. “Danny, Danny, Danny.”
“Skip the purple prose and get right to the point, alright?” he rolled his eyes, but shifting to move an arm around her waist.
“The point is, my dad and my uncle are scary sons of bitches. In fact, my uncle Sam almost shot one of my boyfriends once.”
“Still not making me feel better.”
“But-I don’t care about what they think about what I do in my personal life. It’s not their business, and I don’t tell them until there’s something to tell.” She held up a hand. “Not to say that there isn’t something to tell here, but it’s not their business until I say it is, and even when they do know-I’m a grown woman. I make my own choices. If they had their way, I would have joined a convent.”
He smirked a bit at that. “You would have been a terrible nun.”
“Tell me about it,” she said with a sigh. “I’m a terrible Catholic to start.”
“So I guess that answers my question as to how thrilled they’re going to be with me.”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing about you,” she said with a nod. “It’s just because you’re a boy.”
He laughed. “Then I’m glad it’s just my gender they have a problem with.”
“Good,” she grinned, before leaning in to kiss him softly. “Let’s get outta here.”
“Thank God. I’m exhausted.”
Diana pushed up to her feet and started to gather her bags together. Just as they were getting ready to turn and leave the food court, she spotted the back of a familiar head, and her eyes widened.
“Oh crap.”
“Oh crap? Why ‘oh crap’?”
“What the hell is this?”
Diana gave Danny a sheepish look, biting her bottom lip gently. “I forgot to mention that I got this shopping on Black Friday thing from my uncle Don, didn’t I?”
Danny met his C.O.’s gaze with wide eyes, and gave a bit of a wave. “Hey there, Lieu.”
“This should be good.”
“Yeah, this should.”
881 words
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
“I can’t believe you got off.”
Diana was leaning back in her lawn chair. This was her thing. She got off the day after Thanksgiving to get up at a ridiculous hour and finish all her Christmas shopping on Black Friday. Yes, she was aware it was insane. Yes, the rest of the world became lunatics on this day. But she was a lunatic along with them, so that tended to make everything okay. They were sitting along the side of the building at Macy’s, with chairs that could be packed up and strapped to their backs once it was over and a coffee cup in her hand.
“Yeah, well-when you said you had plans for the day after Thanksgiving, I didn’t think it would involve getting up at an insane hour and waiting in line to practically get trampled while shopping.”
She laughed. “Look, this is the last chance I will get until the next holiday to actually go shopping. I didn’t say you had to come with. You invited yourself.”
“I know, I know. It’s my own fault. But this also means this is the last time I will get to see you before the next holiday, so I might as well enjoy it, right?”
“You catch on much quicker than my uncle gives you credit for.”
There was a long pause. “You’ve been talking to your uncle about me?”
She shrugged with a smirk as she took another sip of her coffee. “Sometimes you come up.”
“You haven’t told him that we-” There was a vague finger gesture between the two of them, and she laughed.
“If they knew about that, you would know. Believe me.”
“That is not comforting.”
“It shouldn’t be.”
“ … You would think that’s something that should be, Di.”
There was a rumble from the front of the line, and Diana leaned forward, before starting to stand and gather her chair together. “Doors are opening. Almost time to go.”
“Are you kidding? You’re just going to leave this conversation at that and just expect me to let it go.”
“Well, that’s going to have to wait,” she said with a smirk. “Right now, it’s time to shop.”
***
Twelve hours, two malls, and two hundred dollars later, Diana and Danny were settling into the food court at their current mall, surrounded by bags and boxes, and drinking coffee. Diana had her list spread out on the table, and was going through the bags, crossing the presents off as she had them. Danny was watching her carefully, drinking his coffee, the same way he’d been watching her since they entered the first store. She knew that he’s still stewing over the conversation they had earlier, and she was letting him stew.
Yes, that probably made her a terrible girlfriend, but she was enjoying watching him squirm.
“I think I’m done,” she said with a sigh as she chewed on the straw of her coffee. “Look, you survived!”
“You’re done? Great, does that mean we could go back to the original conversation now?”
“Danny.” She looked over at him, and took a deep breath before pushing up from her chair and moving to sit on his lap. “Danny, Danny, Danny.”
“Skip the purple prose and get right to the point, alright?” he rolled his eyes, but shifting to move an arm around her waist.
“The point is, my dad and my uncle are scary sons of bitches. In fact, my uncle Sam almost shot one of my boyfriends once.”
“Still not making me feel better.”
“But-I don’t care about what they think about what I do in my personal life. It’s not their business, and I don’t tell them until there’s something to tell.” She held up a hand. “Not to say that there isn’t something to tell here, but it’s not their business until I say it is, and even when they do know-I’m a grown woman. I make my own choices. If they had their way, I would have joined a convent.”
He smirked a bit at that. “You would have been a terrible nun.”
“Tell me about it,” she said with a sigh. “I’m a terrible Catholic to start.”
“So I guess that answers my question as to how thrilled they’re going to be with me.”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing about you,” she said with a nod. “It’s just because you’re a boy.”
He laughed. “Then I’m glad it’s just my gender they have a problem with.”
“Good,” she grinned, before leaning in to kiss him softly. “Let’s get outta here.”
“Thank God. I’m exhausted.”
Diana pushed up to her feet and started to gather her bags together. Just as they were getting ready to turn and leave the food court, she spotted the back of a familiar head, and her eyes widened.
“Oh crap.”
“Oh crap? Why ‘oh crap’?”
“What the hell is this?”
Diana gave Danny a sheepish look, biting her bottom lip gently. “I forgot to mention that I got this shopping on Black Friday thing from my uncle Don, didn’t I?”
Danny met his C.O.’s gaze with wide eyes, and gave a bit of a wave. “Hey there, Lieu.”
“This should be good.”
“Yeah, this should.”
881 words