[FM] December - The Truth.

[dont_needtodie]

Is there something you're scared for others to find out?She stood in front of that mirror for a while, actually feeling her hair dry in the humid air before stepping out into the bedroom. She could hear the television on downstairs, whatever he was watching he was watching it loudly. Padding around the bedroom she dropped the towel and tugged on

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[_complex_guy_]

There was only one thing...well, maybe two things...that could have made the afternoon more pleasant: a cold beer, and Nikki curled up beside him while he watched the new Bourne movie that had just come out on DVD. He blamed Nikki for putting on the first one a couple days before, because when he heard the third one was out, he *had* to see the damn thing after tearing through number two

[dont_needtodie]

Nikki felt her hands clam up a bit and she had to clench them into tight fists to keep herself from shaking as she stood there confronting him with it all. She could see the color drain from his face, and she knew that deep down there was a part of her that had been aching to have that feeling of satisfaction, of course she was supposed to have all of his money in the process of getting bounced all over the world before landing in her sisters account.

That wasn't going on though.

Chewing on her bottom lip for a moment she tried to weigh it all in her mind, as she shifted her weight a bit on her feet and dropped her hands to her sides, letting her palms wipe lightly against her jeans.

"It's mine, I've had it since before I flew to Australia... when I got the job there... Jess... she gave it to me," Nikki watched his features play over the image and then back up to her as she tried to sort out how much to tell him at this very moment.

"She's my sister."

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer felt suddenly cold all over...from toes to scalp, an unnatural chill flooded through his blood and robbed him of all heat. He wanted suddenly to be outside, in the blistering Vegas sun, just so he could get warm again...

"That was yer angle." he realized softly, speaking almost to himself. "I knew you had one...I knew you was up to somethin', I just..."

He hated that he felt pain...that the inside of his chest was throbbing with a raw spot she'd just scrubbed a Brillo pad over with three words that made everything so clear to him...

"How much did you get?" he asked quietly, his voice still flat and practical as he shut his eyes...he couldn't look at her, not now...not when he was so totally screwed. "How much did ya take me for?"

[dont_needtodie]

Just standing there she could feel her heart clenching up in her chest, that muscle turning to rock beneath her chest, weighting her down. Then when he spoke she wasn't even ready for that question, because she had been ready to just leave... but she hadn't left.

Of course he was finally seeing her for her, and maybe that was good. Setting her jaw she folded her arms across her chest, now overly defensive about the entire situation.

"Nothing," Nikki tried to keep her resolve, to keep stoic but the emotion in her was tugging her in all different directions, "I didn't take anything. I'm not going to either."

[dont_needtodie]

Things had changed, and she knew there was clearly no point in ignoring them any further. Still because of this change she felt the need to confess, to make the person she was separate from the person that was standing before him. To clean the slate off and tell him that she was there for no other reason now than her own, but even that was strained and difficult coming to the surface. Her own thoughts betrayed her, letting words slip loose from her lips that she hadn't expected to hit the air at all... ever

[_complex_guy_]

There was no way to tell if this was real on her part or not...but the feeling was still the same: he wanted her there. There and with him, and continuing the way they had been. It was all she really gave him, and Sawyer hated that he craved it: moments of normalcy, heartbeats of time where he just plain *forgot.* The crash, the people...the fact that his life as he knew it even existed.

It was a pretty lie...a pretty lie with real feeling behind it, maybe the worst kind. And he wanted it.

So when she started giving under the weight of it all...proving, at least in his mind, that she just wasn't cut out for the game, no matter what she thought or said, Sawyer just reached out and pulled her in. Wrapping his arms around her, he just held onto her, resting his cheek against her temple. A few soft noises escaped him in spite of himself...generic, soothing, because it was needed...because this was who he had to be in the moment.

He just held her...he just *had* her, for a moment. And for that moment...it was enough.

[dont_needtodie]

Complicated didn't even begin to graze the surface of how things had gotten, and that was above and beyond just the simplistic nature of the con that she'd let fall through her fingers. It was all running through her mind too, a mile a minute all the choices she'd had up to this point and how it could've gone differently if she'd just stopped to think about it, or stopped to be honest with herself, or him... Tapping her fingers lightly against her temple she tried to think through it all, and all of it was just too much to think on

[_complex_guy_]

It was such a simple, almost inane question...and it was a question he needed to hear to preserve the illusion that it wasn't what it was...at least not right now.

Shifting his grip, Sawyer let himself relax a little...an arm looped around her waist, a hand buried in her hair as he shifted his chin against the top of her head to fit her better into his grip...and she did fit. It was a load of nonsensical crap better reserved for the romantic, sentimental types.

Still...she did fit there pretty good.

"Yeah." he sighed after a moment, absently rubbing her back. "Don't see why not."