ARGH

[dontdothatmike]

Im dating a virgin. She believes virginity is a state if mind and is looking for the right person. I belive its a once in a lifetime altering decision that will make you either hate or love intensly the person you lose it too

Comments

[willowwishfree]

first off, I don't know you....you're a friend of a friend. but this is a heavey issue, and I feel the need to comment, even though I don't know you. but just the fact that you're deliberating on it shows that your a decent person, and will make the right desision. If she feels that you are the person, and you do not, go with that feeling. Just remember that rejection hurts almost as much as giving it to the wrong person. (or sometimes more, as it is often rejection that leads to the latter) but ultimatly, it is a choice first she, then you, must make. go with your heart, that's probably how she'll do it.

[dontdothatmike]

Thanks friend of a friend, the bit about rejection is pretty useful, I hadnt thought about that, is that rejection as in, nope, virgin, off limits, sorry, pass on through.

Or rejection like, I dont think were ready yet, we need more time, let wait, etc. Would that feel the same?

[willowwishfree]

rejection as in, no virgins allowed would prolly hurt her... but a "I don't think either of us are readly for that step" would more than likely make her feel special and confident in her descision, if she's already made it. (I know, I went through the first instead of the latter, and ended up giving it to some one else out of spite.)

[everydayreform]

Well, I do know you. Even though I haven't seen you in like, eight years. Practically. In any case, here is the thing. If she is waiting, you can totally date her without having sex. It is my new thing, date but no sex, and it is sweeping the nation. Don't even think about sex. Date her for like a year and then think about it. It is totally not that bad at all.

Celibacy is the new getting some.

[dontdothatmike]

Completely underrated, your right, celebacy is a quick fix! :P

The only problm is, shes the aggressive one (you know me) and has started the "balls" (haahahaha...ha) rolling on more than one occaison. I think its gonna happen, she wouldnt be spending so much time convincing me its not big deal and cuddling the way the way she does.

I had the hang on celebacy for a while, I think I recently lost it again. :P

Celebacy is sweeping the nation eh? It almost wouldnt surprise me :)

[naiveinsight]

I just watched your icon for about two minutes and laughed.

[dontdothatmike]

:P

[weallliesowell]

I assume that you see a future with this young lady (I'm not talking marriage, just a commited relationship)...if that's the case I'd just see what happens and stop worrying so much. Not pressure her, of course, but let her make that move. I think it's important to keep in constant communication about it.

My first time kind of took me by surprise...I was like "Did that seriously just happen..." eventually I warmed up to the idea, had no regrets about the way it happened, and wondered why I waited as long as I did!

[dontdothatmike]

I try not to worry, its just whe we hang out and shes all comfy, then I start to worry. :P

Also, I know sex is fun for me, but my first time I got my heart cracked. I don't want to crack her heart, and marriage is a four letter word at this point in our relationship, so I hang in limbo.:)

Why were you waiting if you don't mind me asking? and last personal q, you can answer and delete it if you dont want it public, when did you give up the v-thing? like what age?

[weallliesowell]

Why was I waiting? I guess it was mostly out of fear and lack of understanding...insecurities, uncertainties. (Because by that time I came to college I'd pretty much abandoned my Catholic upbringing and "no sex before marriage" no longer held any meaning for me.) I had an experience when I was about 13 that pretty much turned me off from ever wanting to see, touch, experiment with, etc the male genitalia. At the time, I didn't handle it appropriately so it continued to haunt me. I was receiving more male attention than I knew what to do with...but whenever the physical stuff came up, I would freak or try to bypass it in some way.

Eventually, I met someone that was understanding, that made me feel comfortable with my body and didn't pressure me. I was 21. It stopped being something that I was scared and unsure about and turned into something fun and, of course, enjoyable. :)

[dontdothatmike]

But your first time, did you feel a larger than normal attraction to the guy than your sexual experiances since?

Like, your first time, were you "in love" with the boy who you first made love to, then get your heart broken when he or you left, and had a hard time loving ever since?

I know this is person shiznit, you can answer and delete your answer so it get it in mt email box at least, I think I am just going slow with her, for all I know, maybe theres something incredibly wrong with her :P ;)

[sierra4emu]

God, you are just the cutest thing!! I miss our girl talks like this. Since I haven't seen you in a decade...lol I am not updated on your current relationship but I think I recall her being slightly younger

[dontdothatmike]

:) Thanks JoAn, we do need to get together again soon, I miss our talks. :)

I have been hiv/std tested earlier this year in April, I think I made a post about it in wondabread, IM CLEAN :P

I got your card, llets hang out sometime, Im tied up till midday this week but after we should ill :)

btw, this isnt the last girl you met, the last girl you met kinda wandered off :P I think. :P

We need one of our girl talks but soon :) if you can post your schedule and delete it, Ill get it and it wont be on this board. kind of a super secret way of sending messages to people ;) it goes straight to mailboxage :P