bah.I've got to stop putting my feelings on the line.Making everything way too apparent,being unfair to myself and to people involved.I'm feeling a bit lame about the way I've gone about things.&

tell me not to, just once with meaning
                                                  and I'll stop.

ho hum, my lj is becoming a breeding ground for ( Read more... )

ok so they're kind of predictable,but I think they fit:

Opening Credits: garbage-queer
Waking-up scene: modest mouse - dramamine
Average Day scene: magic dirt -I was cruel
Best Friend scene: dandy warhols - godless
Falling In Love scene: veruca salt - nobody knows
Sex scene: placebo -my sweet prince
Fight With Friend scene: mindless self indulgence ( Read more... )

eeee I was awake all night painting and tidying and listening to moosic,because I couldn't sleep for thinking.I usually start to crash by now,but nothing :(  I think its broken

I might have a new addition to my family as soon as this weekend.I'm going to have to make some adjustments, no setting a bad example.I plan to change his taste in music ( Read more... )

I only have so much empathy and patience.I'm bit tired of playing dumb to spare other peoples feelings,despite my own.I give so much of myself -because I don't want to wear a fucking poker face...I don't even want to play this game- & in return I rarely get anything back.Although I probably sound it,I'm not even mad or angsty,just realising that I ( Read more... )

time takes care of the wounds or so i can believe you had so much to give u thought i couldn't see gifts for bootheels to crush promises deceived i had to send it away to bring us back again your eyes and body brighten silent waters deep your precious daughter in the other room asleep a kiss goodnight from every ( Read more... )

last night was pretty average,but nice not to have any odd hassles for once(that so won't last though) Niamh and I washed her car at carlovers.She was far too impressed by the pressure of the spray gun,insisting I have a go and feel the power.Phwoar. Then little john drove us to bens house for some more cheap drinking and watching lesbians pash.At ( Read more... )

I think I've got to stop thinking about that

its nice to be able to say Im not sad anymore,& actually mean it this time. ( X )

I'm thinking I might try to get a job at bilo for the following reasons:

• its medowie...its basically the only place to get a job here.
• bilo is in my blood,both of my siblings have worked there
• they have attractive staff
• i think it would be funny,dont you
• I'd get money,of which I have none at the moment

ok I'm here against my sleeping pills advice!I made it through them,they tried to pin me down with swirly patterns,twisted conversations and rolling on a bed chatting at a phone.But I made it. Now its just food and drink that seem to have a different texture making me want to gag.I wanted and needed to talk about my current situation which is this ( Read more... )