Life Is Fragile, Handle With Care- Chapter 1
Master Post
Jensen isn’t a bad kid, not at heart. He has a wild streak and several associates who might be considered bad news by some of the more respectable families in town but Jensen’s still in shock to find himself sitting in the Principal’s office on a Thursday morning when he should be in the middle of a history pop-quiz.
Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t be all that surprised to be in this predicament. Especially considering he was caught in the act of trying to stuff Lenny Reiss into a locker.
Given Jensen’s past record, the teacher who caught him plainly wasn’t interested in listening to his argument that Lenny Reiss is a douchebag. A douchebag who had stuck his cell phone under Danneel Harris’ desk to try and get a snapshot of her lace panties.
In short, the creepy pervert-in-training, totally deserved what Jensen did to him-and then some.
“Jensen?” Principal Lehne snaps his fingers in front of Jensen’s face, his voice pitched to match his equally dour expression.
“Sorry, Sir. You were saying?” Jensen blinks, jerking his gaze away from the window as his brain makes a slow-paced trek back into the present.
The stuffy feel of being inside Mr. Lehne’s office is suffocating for Jensen. The room smells funny, musty, like an old bookshop or his grandma’s retirement home over in Plano.
All four walls are lined with shelves filled with books and Jensen’s eyes move disinterestedly over the titles before shifting to the Principal’s dark walnut-stained desk, engraved name plate, art-deco pen stand and the letter tray overflowing with paperwork.
There’s no family portrait hanging on the wall, neither is there a head-shot of an attractive woman or children anywhere to be seen in the office but then, Mr. Lehne has been married to his job for years-the one true love of his life.
Jensen shuffles his backside around in the uncomfortable straight-backed chair and thanks his lucky stars that he hasn’t been asked to remove his jacket because he’s got a pack of Camels tucked under his t-shirt’s sleeve.
He’d kill for a smoke right now.
“I was saying, Mr. Ackles, that you’ve crossed the line for the last time. This is the forth black mark on your file, expulsion is...”
“S-Sir,” Jensen stutters, panicked, heart hammering. His mom is going to pitch a fit if he gets his ass kicked out of school. “Please, I’ll do anything-”
“Anything?” Principal Lehne’s right eyebrow rises several impressive inches, à la James Bond. Jensen’s always wanted to be able to do that.
“Yes, Sir. Detention, writing lines, extra homework, anything.”
“I was thinking more about an extra-curricular activity that doesn’t involve chasing cheerleaders or cow-tipping with Christian Kane. The school’s Drama Club is desperately short of members and with their summer play coming up-”
“You want me to join the Drama Club?” Jensen gapes, mouth dropping open melodramatically. (Maybe Principal Lehne has a point after all.)
Taking on a role in the school play would mean social suicide for someone like Jensen and Principal Lehne knows that. Jensen may as well draw a giant L on his forehead, start playing tuba in the marching band and sign himself up as President of the Chess Club.
“Exactly. They meet in the Auditorium. Every Friday, after school.”
Every Friday? After school? That’s the time when Jensen virtually skips his way home on a total high, safe in the knowledge that he’s got a full weekend of slacking off to look forward to.
It’s also when he likes to scoff his dinner down at super-speed so that he can go jam with his buddies, Chris and Aldis, or shoot hoops and drink beer at the local basketball courts with Mike.
Jensen could cry but he’s not prepared to give Mr. Lehne that pleasure.
Instead he forces a pained smile onto his lips and nods stiffly, feeling like he’s just signed his own death warrant.
“Excellent, then it’s agreed.”
When Friday afternoon comes around, Chris and Aldis are waiting as Jensen files out of class.
Chris has his guitar case strapped to his back and Aldis is struggling to carry an amp. “Get a hustle on, Ackles. My dad will be home from work at six, so we’ve only got a couple of hours to use the garage.”
“I can’t practice today,” Jensen skulks past his friends. Starting to walk hurriedly away he tries to disappear into the rapidly moving river of students flowing down the hallway.
“You’re ditching practice? Why? Jen, we’ve got our first live gig in two weeks time!” Chris bellows after him.
“Yeah, man, a real audience instead of playing to a garage full of Chris’ parents’ junk,” Aldis adds, dropping the amp so that he can vigorously wave his arms above his head.
“Sorry guys, I don’t have a choice. Look, I’ll explain everything later.” Jensen’s panting by the time he’s raced around the corner and out of sight.
He shoves his hands deep into his jean’s pockets and all but stomps towards the Auditorium, throwing the double-doors open with enough force for them to crash loudly against the wall. The sound echoes harshly as it bounces around the room.
There is a small handful of kids gathered at a table set up on the stage, and they all noticeably startle at Jensen’s dramatic entrance. The wussies.
Jensen quickly takes stock and swallows when he realizes how bad his current predicament is. It’s bad. Really fucking bad.
There’s Chad Michael Murray, the school’s only special needs student who doesn’t actually have special needs. Sandy McCoy, with her iron-padlocked chastity belt. Jake Abel, who is legendary at Woodrow Wilson High for having crashed a car into the flagpole during Drivers Ed. Gabe Tigerman, the geekiest geek who ever geeked. Lastly, there’s that giant kid Jensen normally sees wandering around with his face buried in a book-Jared Padalecki, the youngest son of their church’s pastor.
It’s worse than Jensen could ever have dreamed in his most terrible, bed-wetting, nightmares.
Jensen’s eyes wander over them all in turn, lip curling higher with every face he takes in. Until he ultimately finds himself staring taciturn at Jared.
Jared’s leaning over the table, mussed chestnut hair hanging into his intense hazel eyes. He’s clearly in charge of this small band of dweebs because he’s the first one, the only one, to speak up. Jared clears his throat and gestures at an empty chair. “Hey. Uhm, take a seat. You haven’t missed anything, we’re just getting started.”
“Well, whoop dee doo for me. Ain’t I lucky?” Jensen snarks and is instantly poleaxed by the way his chest clinches when the tentative smile on Jared’s face wobbles and falls away altogether.
Jensen makes his way to the stage and takes a seat, across from Jared, leaning back so that his chair is precariously balanced on only two of its feet. Jared looks flustered for a moment, before he gathers himself together and returns to studying the pieces of paper spread out across the table.
Curiosity takes over and Jensen leans forward to steal a peek.
Romeo & Juliet.
Man, this just keeps getting worse and worse.
Not only does Jensen have to spend his spare time with this Fellowship Of The Ring gathering of nerds and goobers but there’s also an increasing likelihood that he’s going to end up wearing tights.
Maybe he could land himself a part as a tree or a clump of shrubbery. Basically, anything with a non-speaking, non-tight wearing, role.
Jensen finds himself drifting off whilst the group discuss the play and Gabe gives a heavily detailed outline of work necessary behind the scenes in order for the lighting and set design to be perfect.
Jensen is rudely jerked out of his daydreams when Jared begins to assign roles and unfortunately for Jensen, the lack of Drama Club members (and Jensen can’t possibly imagine why there’s a shortage) means that he inevitably ends up with a speaking part. As Tybalt, the villain of the piece. Go figure.
With the session over, Jensen scowls as he stuffs a fat copy of the script into his bag and makes a beeline for the exit. But not before he hears Chad shout after him, “See you next Friday, Groucho.”
Jensen gives Chad the finger as he storms out. He might have punched Chad on the jaw too if he wasn’t terrified of landing himself in hot water again and straight into the school’s Red Cross club, where he’d no doubt end up spoon-feeding mushy food to old people or some shit as equally humiliating.
All he can think about is getting home and trying to convince his mom and Mackenzie that he’s been chilling out over at Chris’ place all this time. Jensen’s younger sister lives to torture him and if she finds out he’s taking part in the school’s theatre production, Jensen’s life won’t be worth living.
That evening, after Jensen’s helped his mom with the dishes and dragged the trash can to the end of their driveway, he retreats to his bedroom.
It’s a typical teenaged boy’s room, untidy and generally disgusting. Jensen shared with Josh until his big brother left for college and Jensen quickly commandeered the freed half of the bedroom. His possessions literally exploding over every available inch of space.
The walls are plastered with posters that pay homage to Jensen’s favorite bands and the floor is a wasteland of debris: plates with half-eaten food welded to them, dirty underwear, used tissues and...ewww, gross! An item that should so not be in here-his kid sister’s High School Musical pencil case.
He shoves a pile of music magazines off his bed so that he can flop onto the quilt, upside-down. His socked feet make a dent in his pillow as he leafs through the script, trying to calculate just how much crap he’s going to have to learn.
By the time he’s reached the last page, Jensen’s hyperventilating. There’s no way he’s going to memorize all of Tybalt’s lines. No way in hell. He can barely understand it, let alone recite it.
Not only is Jensen going to be taking part in a play, in tights but he’s going to freeze on stage in front of all his friends- in front of the entire school.
And while Jensen may be a fighter and too stubborn to admit defeat easily, even he can’t deny that he’s well and truly fucked.
Jensen doesn’t have any classes with Jared, but he knows the kind of kids Jared hangs with: the bottom-feeders of the school. The type who stick-together, hoping to find safety in numbers like a swarm of corduroy-wearing panicky gazelles.
However, Jared’s not like his contemporaries. Jared eats his lunch outside everyday, alone. He usually sits on the steps that lead to the science block or, if it’s raining, under the shelter of the bleachers out by the football field. Jensen only knows this because he’s seen Jared there on a number of occasions, engrossed in Salinger, Orwell or Hemingway, while munching contentedly on an apple.
The sun is shining, hot and sticky, by the time the lunch bell rings so the science block is the first place Jensen tries and his search garners instant results.
Jared’s there, sitting halfway up on the concrete stairs, long legs bent at the knee. Jensen walks down the stairs from above where Jared is seated, so he takes the time to observe the other boy undisturbed.
Jared’s a nonconformist geek.
He’s attractive; at least, that’s what Danneel’s friends say when they’re giggling together hyena-style. There are dimples, deep enough to swallow a finger, that appear in Jared’s cheeks when he smiles-which isn’t all that often because most days he seems deadly serious. Miserable is the word Jensen would choose and having Pastor Gerald Padalecki for a dad, Jensen can’t blame him.
Somehow a serious expression simply doesn't fit, doesn't look right on Jared's face. A face which seems like it should be animated, happy.
Jared's tall, even bigger up-close and he’s more muscular now than he used to be. For the longest time Jared was as skinny as a rake-more bones on display than a museum dinosaur exhibit- to the point where Jensen was sorely tempted to throw a Butterfinger in his direction whenever he saw Jared’s skeletal frame ambling down the school corridor.
But time changes most things, Jared included. As the school years flew by, Jensen noticed that Jared had gradually transformed from being a kid thin enough for a light breeze to bowl over into one with more muscle than a WWF meet.
And for a guy who likes to send out the impression that he doesn’t give a crap about much, Jensen did notice.
Jensen reaches into his pocket for his Camels, shakes one out onto his palm and checks the area for any members of the faculty before he lights it. He sucks in a deep satisfied breath, thumping down the last few steps to where Jared is sitting, coughing into his fist in an attempt to announce his arrival.
Jared squints up at him, shielding his eyes from the sun with one large hand. He frowns when he realizes that it’s Jensen who’s the cause of the interruption and his frown grows by margins as he starts to get a sniff of the acidic smoke, trailing lazily from the cigarette hanging from one corner of Jensen’s mouth.
Jensen sighs in a put-upon manner and lets the cigarette drop to the floor, grinding it to ashes underneath his boot heel. He’s here for a favor after all. It wouldn’t do to go upsetting the very person who he needs to beg the favor from, now would it?
“So...Mr. Lehne’s making me do the play. I don’t want to do the play.”
“I know,” Jared says, looking irritated.
“I just want you to know that I’m being forced to participate...against my will.”
“Thanks for the newsflash but I think I gathered that from all the huffing and puffing you were doing on Friday. Is that all or did you want something else?”
This is the part he’s been dreading. Jensen doesn’t like asking for things, especially from someone as self-righteous as Jared Padalecki. “I’ve got a lot of lines, I-I can’t learn them all by myself.”
“Have you even tried?”
“Yes, I’ve tried.” Jensen snaps. Fuck this, he’s not about to get down on his hands and knees here. Jensen spins on his heels. This was evidently a big waste of his time, it’s corndog day in the lunchroom and that’s exactly where he’s going.
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?” Jensen says, turning back around, arms folded irately across his chest.
“I’ll help you. Come over to my house tonight but not too late because I have homework.”
Homework? Of course. Jensen shrugs and nods slightly, trying not to appear too ungrateful. Although he finds it harder than it should be. “Thanks.”
“And Jensen?”
“Yeah?”
“If I help you, you’ve got to promise not to fall in love with me.”
Jensen splutters, choking on an imaginary chicken bone. Where the hell did that come from? He’s asking for help, not a date. “What are you talking about? Jesus, why would you even say something like that?” Jensen boggles, eyeballing Jared. He’s dealing with one heck of a crazy kid.
Jared’s already opened his book again, as good as dismissing Jensen. “I guess I just wanted to throw it out there. So we both know where we stand.”
“Whatever.” Jensen huffs, Jared is rapidly starting to drive him insane. “I’ll see you tonight.” Jensen manages a smile he doesn’t feel on the inside before he’s quickly retreating, back towards the sanctuary of the school.
If truth be told, he’s never been so keen to get into that building in his entire life.
Jensen hesitates outside the house, fingers tightly gripping the steering wheel as he wonders if this is even worth it. There are so many other things he would rather be doing at the moment than spending his afternoon with the preacher’s son.
But no matter how lame the punishment is Jensen realizes if he purposely sabotages the play he will not only be ruining his image but also setting himself up for expulsion. So reluctantly he pulls himself out of the car with a long drawn-out sigh and shuffles up to the porch with his backpack hanging off his right shoulder.
Before he can even lift his fist to knock, the front door flies open to reveal a rosy-cheeked little girl. He raises an eyebrow as the girl stands there giggling and staring at him, making him even more uncomfortable than he already is.
“Megan!” The girl yelps, turns away and quickly runs up the stairs as Jared makes an appearance. “Sorry about that. You’re apparently one of her many crushes.”
Jensen nods but doesn’t miss the way Jared blushes as he moves aside and gestures for Jensen to come in. He follows Jared into the living room, glancing around at the cosy living space, filled with an abundance of family photos.
One photo in particular catches Jensen’s eye.
“You’re a Cowboys fan?” he stares at the photo of Jared, his older brother and his father sitting on the couch wearing football jerseys.
“Yeah,” Jared says but doesn’t look up as he grabs his script from the table and takes a seat on the couch. “That was the year they lost to the Seahawks in the playoffs.”
“Tough year.” Jensen sits down on the other side and pulls out his own script.
“We have another chance this year.”
“Yeah,” Jensen says, surprised to find he is actually smiling.
“Let’s get started.” Jared quickly changes the subject and flips open his script. “How about we start with Tybalt’s first appearance in Act I scene I? I believe it’s on page five.”
“Have you memorized the whole play already?”
“I did it this last year in AP English.”
“Go figure.” Jensen rolls his eyes as he flips the booklet open, sure enough finding the lines on page five. “I don’t even know what this shit means, how the hell am I supposed to memorize it?”
“You have to translate it into modern English first and then it’s easier to understand. That’s how I do it.”
“So what are ‘heartless hinds’?”
“Same as calling them worthless servants.”
“Why can’t he just say that then?”
“It’s Shakespeare, everything is more complicated,” Jared laughs. “You’ll get the hang of it though. The words actually flow better in Elizabethan English than when translated. The translation just helps you understand what your character is expressing.”
“So basically my character’s a jackass?”
“Should be easy for you to portray.”
Jensen goes to speak up, ready to lay into Jared for the insult but when he notices the grin on Jared’s face and sees the deep dimples on his cheeks his anger vanishes. Instead he smiles back and playfully punches the other boy on the shoulder before turning back to his script.
Maybe asking Jared for help isn’t going to turn out as horrible as he thought. The kid doesn’t seem half as annoying as Jensen originally assumed and he even has a sense of humor.
He may not completely hate this whole thing after all.
The following day when Jensen arrives at the Padalecki home he doesn’t think twice as he pulls himself from the car and jogs up to the porch. When Jared’s sister answers the door again he gives her a small smile and asks nicely if he can come in, which causes her to blush and run back upstairs once again.
Jared’s already sitting in the living room, reading the same book he had been when Jensen approached him outside of school yesterday. Jensen sees the smirk on Jared’s face as he walks in and takes a seat, even though Jared is trying to hide it behind the book.
“You have a way with the girls.” Jared closes his book and turns to Jensen, his smirk now fully visible. “Do they always run away when you smile at them?”
“What can I say?” Jensen shrugs with a smile. “It must be my charm.”
Jared laughs as he stands up from the recliner and heads for the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”
“That’d be great.”
He waits until Jared is out of the room before he stands back up and moves toward the fireplace mantle. There’s a large family portrait in the center, taken many years ago judging by the ages of the children. Jared looks about three of four and his sister is still a small infant, held in the mother’s arms.
Jensen doesn’t remember ever hearing the pastor mention Mrs. Padalecki in all the Sundays he and his family have gone to church. The gossip queens with nothing better to talk about have supplied the only information he has, but who knows how much of it is accurate. All Jensen knows for sure is that Mrs. Padalecki has been gone for quite a long time.
“She died a few months after that picture was taken.”
Jensen’s startled by the quiet voice behind him and his cheeks immediately go red as he turns toward Jared. He sees the other boy’s sad smile and his guilt quickly intensifies.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jared says as he hands Jensen a can of soda and places a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table before taking a seat on the couch. “It was a long time ago. I’m sure you’ve heard about it at church.”
“I don’t believe much Mrs. Trudy says.”
“That woman,” Jared says with a chuckle as he grabs fist full of popcorn. “She’s so in tune with everyone else’s lives that she hasn’t realized her husband is cheating on her.”
Jensen stares at him in shock but doesn’t argue. He assumes Jared probably knows quite a lot about people, considering most of the town has come to the Pastor’s home for counselling at some point. In fact, he’s tempted to ask Jared who the other woman is but that would make him just as bad as Nosey Trudy.
“It was a car accident.”
“Excuse me?”
“My mom,” Jared points toward the picture on the mantle and as Jensen takes another glance he’s amazed at how much Jared looks like his mother. “She was coming home from visiting my aunt in the city and a drunk driver hit her car, wrapped it around a tree.”
He doesn’t know what to say to that, knowing ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t what Jared wants or needs to hear.
“I didn’t mean to make it all depressing.” Jared hands the bowl of popcorn to Jensen and smiles. “I just thought you’d like to know the truth. I know Trudy’s stories can get kind of wild.”
Jensen shakes his head with a laugh and takes the offered bowl, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth as Jared grabs his script. He watches the other boy closely, surprised at how easily Jared can discuss his mother when Jensen has a hard time even saying his father’s name.
Of course, Jensen’s father isn’t dead even if sometimes he thinks it would be better that way. His old man is simply a no-good father who decided that his family wasn’t as important as his career. Jensen thinks he and Jared may have more in common than he thought, though Jared seems to have accepted the cards he has been dealt much better than Jensen ever will.
“Did you study your lines last night?” Jensen pulls himself from his thoughts and nods toward Jared as he grabs his own script out of his backpack.
“At this rate it’ll take me forever to learn them all though.”
“Start slow, and then work on memorizing more lines. Just get a feel for the style first.”
Jensen feels the couch dip as Jared shifts closer, pulling his leg up under him so he can face Jensen easily. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to memorize them all. You really should have picked someone with more talent.”
“I think you’ll do great.” Jared pats him on the knee with a warm smile. “It takes practice but you’ll get the hang of it and then you’ll be glad the Principal made you join the stupid Drama Club.”
“I’m sorry for-”
“It’s okay. I know we’re not the most popular club in the school.”
“There are worse.”
Jared laughs and nudges Jensen’s calf with his foot before flipping open the script in his hands and waiting for Jensen to do the same. The two go over Jensen’s first appearance and surprisingly Jensen is able to run through the lines perfectly after the fifth time.
Eventually they move on to Tybalt’s longer Scene and Jensen feels slightly overwhelmed by the fact that they aren’t even through Act I and he already has nearly twenty lines to memorize. Jared pushes him through the scene, going over it quite a few times before he snags the script and makes Jensen try it from memory.
It takes over a half an hour for them to get through the scene since Jensen has to continuously ask for his line after ever other word. Despite the fact that Jensen knows he bombed the first go, Jared still smiles and gives him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
“You’re doing wonderful, Jen. Just go over the scene tonight and I bet by tomorrow you’ll have it down.”
Jensen smiles and doesn’t bother correcting Jared at the use of the nickname. In fact, the name doesn’t even seem to irk him as much as it usually does. He blames it on the fact that he’s too tired to care.
He shoves his script back into his bag just as the front door swings open and Jared’s father struggles through it with an armful of grocery bags. Both he and Jared jump up to help, each grabbing a bag from the man.
“Thank you,” Pastor Gerald says with a grateful smile. “And hello, Jensen.”
“Hi, Pastor Gerald.” he smiles awkwardly at the man as he follows Jared into the kitchen.
“I hear you and Jared will be in the school play together?”
“Yes, Sir. Jared’s helping me out with my lines since I’m pretty horrible at this acting stuff.”
“Well Jared’s a good one to ask. He’s been acting for quite awhile and he’s good at it too.”
“So I’ve noticed.” Jensen chuckles when he notices the deep blush on Jared’s cheeks as the boy busies himself with putting away the groceries.
“Will you be staying for dinner?”
His eyes quickly go to Jared, not sure how to answer that question. The idea of having dinner at the pastor’s is slightly unnerving but he also doesn’t want to seem rude.
“We could go over some more lines if you want to stay.” Jared looks hopeful and Jensen reluctantly decides that he can’t possibly say no now and so he nods.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Not a problem,” Gerald says as he motions for the boys to get out of the kitchen. “You two go finish up your work. It’ll be at least an hour till dinner.”
Jared wraps his long fingers around Jensen’s wrist and tugs him into the living room to grab their backpacks before Jared directs him upstairs. As Jared opens the door to his bedroom, Jensen is taken aback by the clutter of books and movies that seem to take up most of the space.
“I have a slight addiction.”
Jensen shakes his head as Jared pushes him into the room and motions for him to have a seat on the bed. It looks nothing like he expected, but Jensen is learning that Jared is much different than the impression Jensen’s had of him all these years.
“Are there any movies you don’t have?”
Jared shrugs as he sits down next to Jensen on the bed, pulling his script out of his backpack. As he flips it open to the page they were working on, Jensen turns to dig his out as well but stops when Jared’s voice breaks the silence.
“Forty two.”
“What?” he turns back to Jared who has his head down, face buried in his script but Jensen can see the shy smile.
“Number forty two is to befriend someone I don’t like.” Jared looks up from the booklet but his eyes never meet Jensen’s. “I have a wish-list of things I want to achieve in my life. I know you probably think it’s lame.”
“And what else do you have on this list?” he asks, not meaning to sound condescending but Jared doesn’t seem to notice.
“Spend a year in the Peace Corps, make a medical discovery, be in two places at once, get a tattoo...”
Jensen thinks he misheard the last item but when he sees Jared’s smile he knows he heard it just fine. He’s a bit shocked but then he thinks about Jared’s father and how strict the pastor must be with his children. He doesn’t blame Jared for wanting to do one thing that’s rebellious. In fact, he’s quite proud of Jared for it.
“So, what’s number one?”
Jared shakes his head with a smile. “If I told you I’d have to kill you.”
Things change for Jensen after that. He doesn't see the change coming or realize it’s happening, yet things are definitely different.
He still sees his buds. Spends most of his evenings playing bass guitar (badly) in the garage at Chris' house- until the old couple living next-door start complaining and making threats to call the cops-but the play is always at the forefront of Jensen’s mind.
Or, perhaps, it's a certain someone involved with the play.
The play was meant to be a punishment but Jensen's already taken a shine to acting. The few rehearsal sessions they've done have been fun, which was a revelation to Jensen because he was kind of expecting to feel stupid and/or embarrassed and/or bored to tears. Instead, as his script study sessions with Jared become a more frequent occurrence, Jensen finds himself getting into the part. Immersing himself in Tybalt’s anger and confusion.
In no time at all, Jensen begins to look forward to every Friday. Waiting impatiently for the school day to end so that he can race to the Auditorium with a rush of enthusiasm buzzing through his head.
Aside from stretching his own acting chops, Jensen begins to enjoy the whole process, helping Gabe with setting the stage scenery as well as learning how to rig lighting and sound. But the best bit by far is watching the other club members act.
Jared comes to life when he's center stage, there's something dazzling about him that grabs Jensen's attention in a fierce hold and won't let go.
"How oft when men are at the point of death..."
Jensen leans forward in his seat, eyes fixed on Jared illuminated by a single spot-light, he soaks up every word as it leaves Jared’s lips.
Jensen's so far gone that he doesn't notice Sandy sitting next to him, doesn't become aware of her at all until she bumps her knee against his own. "He’s a natural, isn't he?"
"Who?" Jensen asks. Turning his head sharply he blinks a few times to force his eyes to focus on Sandy’s face, shadowed in the darkness caused by the dim lighting.
"Leonardo DiCaprio up there," Sandy grins easily, pointing at Jared still practicing his soliloquy on the stage. “Romeo of course,” she says. “You’ve been watching him pretty closely.” There's an underlying message to her knife-slash smile, a caught you looking implication that Jensen picks up on right away.
Jensen straightens in his seat and glowers at Sandy like she’s just grown another head-one with sharp teeth, waiting to gobble him up.
Isn’t he allowed to watch rehearsals? "Yeah, well, got to do something to pass the time. There's a whole hour to go yet before I'm free to leave."
"Sure, whatever." Sandy says, tapping the side of her nose.
Jensen scowls, scrunching up his face.
"I don't know why you're always trying to play it so cool, Jensen. I can see through you like a plate glass window." Sandy leans closer conspiratorially, "And your face looks seriously cute when you do that."
Jensen drops his scowl and exchanges it for a disgruntled shake of his head. Sandy is unbelievable. For a chaste virginal high school girl, she sure likes to spend her time meddling in other people's love lives.
Love lives?!
"JENSEN? Can you pass me a C wrench?" Gabe's voice echoes out from the control room at the back of the Auditorium and Jensen thanks God for small mercies as he shuffles past Sandy and hurries away.
By the time Monday morning comes around, Jensen finds Chris helping himself to a drink from the water fountain, outside the boys' bathroom. "Hey, so, the gig's coming up soon, huh?"
Chris rubs across his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah, man. We had a nightmare trying to find somewhere that'd let underage kids play but we did it!" He holds up a hand for a high-five, which Jensen consents to with an unenthusiastic eye roll. “We’re on Friday,” he says.
"Friday?"
"Listen, I know you play dress-up with the geek squad on Fridays but can't you blow them off just this one time? Aldis and me, we can go talk to one of them, get them to cover for you if Mr. Lehne starts asking questions.”
Jensen runs a hand through his hair, making it stick up at odd angles. He knows Chris’ idea of talking will involve threats and he isn’t exactly thrilled at the thought of skipping Drama Club. They’re meant to be having their first full run through this coming Friday, with props and everything-and Jensen’s genuinely excited about finally getting to wave a sword around. "Shit, Chris..."
Chris slings his arm across Jensen’s shoulder. "We need you. I need you. Kane’s Reject Rodeo can’t give the gift of music to their adoring fans without you, Dude."
Jensen groans as Chris gets down on his knees and clings to Jensen’s pant leg, attracting more than a handful of curious stares from passing students. “Danneel’s gonna be there. You know she’s got a thing for you? Like a free pass inside her underwear thing?”
"Okay! Okay, fuck! Chris, get off the floor you dumbass!" Jensen says, dragging Chris back up onto his feet.
"Hey, Jensen!"
Jensen flinches as an all too familiar voice calls out his name. He turns around slowly, trying to delay the moment because sure enough, Jared is walking directly towards him waving what looks to be a crumpled copy of the script above his head. Jensen cringes internally as he hears Chris snort in amusement.
"Jensen, are you still coming over tonight? Thought we could go over a few scenes and then watch the game. Dad's making meatloaf."
"Yeah, Jensen, maybe if you're real lucky you'll get to hold hands too." Chris rams his elbow into Jensen's ribs hard enough to earn a loud ooof.
Jensen's heart sinks. He can tell that Jared’s hurt, humiliated and he has an inexplicable urge to kiss away the frown lines that are shaping deep grooves across Jared’s temple. This sudden surge of emotion towards Jared comes as a jolt, a shotgun blast to the chest that leaves Jensen reeling in confusion.
"In your dreams," He says to Jared. The words drip like acid from his tongue, blistering his mouth. His feelings are growing, multiplying, at an alarming rate. Jared is a dude for God's sake. Jensen steels himself, forcing his eyes to remain cold and hard.
Jared gapes for a moment, totally stunned before his hurt expression turns to anger and Jensen truly wonders if Jared is going to hit him. Instead, Jared turns and strides purposefully away.
Jensen's never felt so low in his entire life. Fucking lower than low, pond scum has nothing on him.
"Did you see his face? Friggin' homo was going to cry," Chris guffaws loudly, slapping his hand down on Jensen's back.
"Get off me." Jensen pushes Chris away and ignoring his friend's squawk of indignation he heads for the nearest exit, moving as fast as his legs will carry him.
Jensen skips classes for the rest of the day. He doesn't normally play hooky. If his mom ever found out it would be Adiós to his cojones and Jensen's actually pretty fond of his balls.
He goes on foot to Blackenridge Park and wanders the jogging trails. Ending up resting against a large rock, lying on his back, staring up at a cloudless sky. Jensen idles his time, smoking a few cigarettes and drinking four beers from a six-pack he scored at Starr Mart since the cashier girl there has a crush on him and never asks for ID.
He thinks about a lot of things but mainly he thinks about Jared. And before he knows it, the sun is starting to set and it's grown cold enough to make his teeth chatter.
Jensen checks his cell as he starts walking out of the park, cracking another beer open as he goes. Three missed calls, all from his mom. Huh, he doesn’t remembering hearing his phone ring but the beer is giving him a nice buzz and it doesn’t seem to matter so much.
Instead of heading home, Jensen ends up standing on Jared's doorstep with no real recollection of making the decision to go there.
It’s a nice house even though there’s something of a Brady Family vibe going on with the white picket fence and perfectly manicured flower beds. He reaches out to knock before letting his hand drop away again. After a few more failed attempts, Jensen bites the bullet and bangs his fist against the door, staggering back a step when Jared opens it a minute later.
It’s only been a matter of hours since Jensen last saw Jared but he realizes now how badly he’s been wanting to see him again. To make sure he’s okay, if nothing else.
Jared looks good, dressed in casual sweats and a black X-Men t-shirt. Jensen stares dumbly before he realizes that he is staring, then he blurts out, "I wanted to see you."
"Well, I'm standing right here." Jared snaps, his nose crinkling as he gets his first good sniff of the odor permeating from Jensen’s clothes. “God, you smell like a brewery. You’re drunk.” It’s not a question. Jared starts to close the door and Jensen darts forward, wedging his foot in the gap.
"I didn't mean what I said at school...it's just that Chris was right there and..."
"And I'm not good enough for your friends?"
"No! That's not-"
"Why are you here, Jensen? What do you want? Do you want us to be secret friends, is that it?"
There's something off about Jared's voice, his sweet tone has a biting edge. Nonetheless, Jensen still lets a small hopeful smile crack across his face as way of an answer.
"God, you're an idiot." Jared slams the door closed and the porch light flicks off seconds afterwards leaving Jensen standing in darkness, which seems to conspire to swallow him whole.
In a way, he wishes that it would.
