(Untitled)

[dontknowyouknow]

Bar Meme!

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Ben Lockwood | Werewolf OC | specify a 'verse if you like, either CoG or 'regular'

[werewolf_hacker]

Double Bacardi 151, straight up, please.

[werewolf_hacker]

Oh, I have questions. And the answer appears to be "Free Will with a side of living in a fallen world." 'Which is, oh, hey. Your side's fault. Funny how that works, innit.

Just because shit happens doesn't mean Dad doesn't love us. Just means actions have consequences.

[dogeat_underdog]

[Simon snorts into his glass.]Nice answer. Doesn't really account for how fair it is that guys like Raz and me got the same punishment as guys like Lucifer and Belial, but whatever helps you make sense of the world, knock yourself out.

[werewolf_hacker]

[Ben huffs out a sound that only resembles a laugh.] Right, you're just an innocent victim and you only started the crossroads gig out of spite because Daddy didn't love you anymore. Not like you made a choice or anything.

Besides, I like my life and answers simple. "Complicated" usually just equates to "weasel words." But I guess that's your stock in trade, huh, Loman?

[dogeat_underdog]

Right. Because I'm so much different than Razas. You know. Bartering arcane knowledge to sorcerers is so much different than bartering a little good luck to desperate lotto players. And hiding away in a book is just a hundred times more noble than trying to make people a little bit happier before they find out Daddy doesn't think they're good enough to get into the Pearly Gates Club.

[werewolf_hacker]

Right, because there's no difference between bilking a desperate and dumb poor person out of their soul in exchange for added "luck" [he snorts] and bilking a sorcerer who's too clever for his own good out of a soul he's probably lost anyway and who goes into the bargain knowing exactly what he's getting into. May not be a difference in kind, but it's sure a difference in degree.

Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

[dogeat_underdog]

You know what I like best about you, Ben? How quick you jump to conclusions about people. You meet the chief asshole of the crossroads brotherhood and decide you know all of us inside and out. Real nice.

[werewolf_hacker]

Well, you know, you were kind of an asshole to Raz the other night. I don't need glasses to see a pattern there. [He makes a weighing motion with his hands.] Crossroads demon... asshole. Seems to be a thing. And I don't see you working real hard to prove me wrong.

I'll give you points for not going straight to the heroin, though. Naymon really screwed up when he did that.

THIS THING IS THE COMP OF 1,000 FAILS >:|

[dogeat_underdog]

Naymon's an asshole. And an idiot. And he's a mean sonufabitch, to boot. [Simon raises his glass a little.] You ever manage to kill him for good, you'll be doing all of us a giant favor.

ARGH. *beats it*

[werewolf_hacker]

Working on it, believe me. He really should not have come after me again. Especially like that. Now he's got my attention.

Which is not a good thing, when you're a demon.

So, tell me, Simon. Why are you so fuckin' eager to be on my radar?

[dogeat_underdog]

[Simon quirks an eyebrow at him.] Maybe I like werewolves, ever think of that? Or guys who can kick Naymon's ass. Or underdogs.

I know it probably seems like it, but you know, not everyone in Hell is bent on suborning your soul or whatever. Me? I couldn't care less.

[werewolf_hacker]

[Ben scoffs.] Oh, so you're rooting for me? You'll have to pardon my skepti-- skep-- suspic--

Doubt. [He stares a bit owlishly into his glass.] Did you put something in my drink?

[dogeat_underdog]

[Simon's innocent face. He will show you it now. He won't show you the little vial of liquid honesty in his pocket, but he will show you his innocent face.] What am I gonna get out of putting something in your drink, exactly? Jeeze, man, dial back a notch on the paranoia, will you, if I wanted to get you I'd just [he mimes claws and teeth] go all raaawr. And then I'd get my ass kicked.

I prefer my ass un-kicked, thanks all the same.

[werewolf_hacker]

'f you wanted to get me, going rawr would be singu-- sing. Very. Ineffe-- [He frowns at his glass, shrugs, and drains it.] Futile. Because the wolf would eat you. And spit out your bones.

I think you're smarter than that. Managed to stay un-smited so far. Puts you one up on your Remedial Class brothers.

[dogeat_underdog]

Hey, well. [Simon hoists his glass.] I didn't get this far by being an idiot. I know when to pick my battles and when to stand back and watch the rightful ass-kicking ensue.

[werewolf_hacker]

[Ben waves for another refill.] I just. Why me? Did Hell wake up one morning and say "Hey, you know that Ben guy? We didn't put him through enough shit in Afghanistan. Let's make his life a literal Hell now. It'll be fun." What the actual fuck, man.