apprehensive is chelsea's word. does anyone i know notice how scared i am of getting hurt? i dono..
im kinda hurt/apprehensive/scared/worried/sad/and many other feelings and i just wish i had someone to talk to. mean the only person i could talk to is chelsea and i love her but shes not here right now and she doesnt have a phone number really. and him. but i cant change what he does and he has his reasons. he listens to me he really does. but hes also done a lot of things and liked it. and he told me he wouldnt turn it down if it was free but i just wish he would never do it again stop all together except maybe like once a year. but what he doesnt understand is that 'once a year' becomes 'well i only did it once last month and not a long time before that so ill do it..well i only did it twice so ill do it..well i barely ever do it so pass that shit..well its just this week ive been smoking alot im cool..shit i love getting high im not stopping.' yeah. and he promises shit but ive seen this shit happen so many times before and even if it doesnt happen at all i just wish he would see that he should not even touch it again and know that its just fucking stupid and doesnt even give you the good time you think it does. or whatever. i just cant get hurt as much as ill be hurt if anything even just whats happening now - his fucking roomate moving back in for 'a couple days' - happens again. and is it happening? i mean i dont know what the fuck hunters gona do. and i just hope he thinks of me alot and thinks that im fucking right. agh...
milkncookys01: how long is he staying
handlnbiznz: couple days
milkncookys01: by tomoro youre gona be smoking a lot of weed
milkncookys01: i know
handlnbiznz: listen
handlnbiznz: on sat mayb
handlnbiznz: all i can say
handlnbiznz: is i ain gonna lie to u ok?
handlnbiznz: and i def. am not gonna cheat on u
handlnbiznz: i swear on my life
handlnbiznz: i luv u a lot
handlnbiznz: it ain no joke
milkncookys01: i hope you stick to that no matter what
milkncookys01: but try to also think about whats bad for you a little
milkncookys01: watch the weed cause youll get hooked back on it
milkncookys01: and thatll fuck up everything
milkncookys01: and you know it
handlnbiznz: ye i do
handlnbiznz: but i wont i promise
handlnbiznz: i ain buyin no weed
handlnbiznz: ever again
handlnbiznz: or gritz
handlnbiznz: EVER again
milkncookys01: i hope not
handlnbiznz: i swear
...sfghaeldhfrfcun5n8967f2346892cq7489m7q6cvrnvhuer. hes knows how much this means to me. if he fucks up. its him FUCKING IT UP. aggghhhdjhg at7ic4nytn3y658360vmu6cn8!! i like cant take this! also we talked every night for hooouurs for a week or wtvr and now that his friends there we like wont be talking on the phone. fucking smdnfgsdhcuwy4cet9724kclybt86b4!!! damn. i like cant take this.
i fucking seriously wanted to make this friends only. because it means a lot to me. a lot. but some of my best friends dont even have fucking journals and which friends only peeps will take this super seriously and care a lot more than my non-lj friends? and who non-lj friend will fuck me up for what i say/do in this entry or wtvr? i dont know. so whats the significance? friends only should mean something.
milkncookys01: how long is he staying
handlnbiznz: couple days
milkncookys01: by tomoro youre gona be smoking a lot of weed
milkncookys01: i know
handlnbiznz: listen
handlnbiznz: on sat mayb
handlnbiznz: all i can say
handlnbiznz: is i ain gonna lie to u ok?
handlnbiznz: and i def. am not gonna cheat on u
handlnbiznz: i swear on my life
handlnbiznz: i luv u a lot
handlnbiznz: it ain no joke
milkncookys01: i hope you stick to that no matter what
milkncookys01: but try to also think about whats bad for you a little
milkncookys01: watch the weed cause youll get hooked back on it
milkncookys01: and thatll fuck up everything
milkncookys01: and you know it
handlnbiznz: ye i do
handlnbiznz: but i wont i promise
handlnbiznz: i ain buyin no weed
handlnbiznz: ever again
handlnbiznz: or gritz
handlnbiznz: EVER again
milkncookys01: i hope not
handlnbiznz: i swear
...sfghaeldhfrfcun5n8967f2346892cq7489m7q6cvrnvhuer. hes knows how much this means to me. if he fucks up. its him FUCKING IT UP. aggghhhdjhg at7ic4nytn3y658360vmu6cn8!! i like cant take this! also we talked every night for hooouurs for a week or wtvr and now that his friends there we like wont be talking on the phone. fucking smdnfgsdhcuwy4cet9724kclybt86b4!!! damn. i like cant take this.
i fucking seriously wanted to make this friends only. because it means a lot to me. a lot. but some of my best friends dont even have fucking journals and which friends only peeps will take this super seriously and care a lot more than my non-lj friends? and who non-lj friend will fuck me up for what i say/do in this entry or wtvr? i dont know. so whats the significance? friends only should mean something.