Curse you writing!(and reading)
Ug I'm trying, trying, to finish up this chapter of a Mai-HiME fic that I haven't updated in at least 8 months. I'm surprised people haven't killed me yet. I've had an outline for it for at least two months! I'm trying to finish it up so that I can put all my focus on this super Harry Potter fic a friend and myself are sporadically working on. And by sporadically I mean, whenever I feel up to it and need to distract myself from working on what I really need to.
Progress.
lmao. My main problem, which I now know, is that I read so much, and it's usually something super awesome and the writing is fantastic, that I start writing and it isn't that awesome D: And then it makes me sad because I can't seem to get it that way. The only time it seems that I can get something that's actually pretty damn decent is when it's 6am and I haven't slept yet. Wtf much?
I think it has something to do with the fact that I think too much while writing so it gets in the way of just letting it flow. That or I just suck and don't write at the times where it will flow and trying to force myself to do so just makes it worse.
I can't help it! My muse left me for someone less lazy and other stuff. Or it just took a vacation to China. Because that's where my train of thoughts like to go.They conspired against me and left together! How dare they D:
*sigh* I'm also going to blame it on being home. The times I can relax and write, my mom tends to be home at the same time which then this is what occurs::
Me:: *stretches and stocks up on tea* Time to write!
*two minutes into typing*
Mom:: *yelling form downstairs* Can you get me something to drink!
Me:: ........... *sighs* No! *gets up and does it anyway*
*after getting the drink*
Me:: Ok let's try this aga-
Mom:: Let the dogs outside please!
Etc.
I can't relax at home because every 5 minutes I'm being asked to do something that's like 2 feet away for my mother to do... Yes I have a tendancy to do it anyway because I find it useless and pointless to try and argue not to do something.
Pathetic, just a bit. But it saves me from sitting around listening to a 4 hour rant that had nothing to do with whatever it was I didn't do in the first place.
This here ends my rant. Even though this could also go along the lines of artwork. Like painting and drawing. Though I realized not too long ago exactly why I stopped, and that I also happen to blame on my mother. But that's because of something she said to me in high school and since that was at least more than 6 years ago I just now figured it out like two months ago.
Ok seriously the rant is done.
As I keep editing this because my typing is horrid and one day I will get this LJ cut thing down.