Poem... Feel Free to Critique

[doppleganger]

so i got an e-mail the other day in my hotmail account (which i usually never check) about a poetry contest... and i thought to myself... "gee Scott... it's been a while since you've written a poem... so maybe if you write one, it'd be really good... since it's been so long" so i wrote this poem that i like to call "Lucid Nightmare", and i based

Comments

[8_miles_high]

my only critique: don't spell LuCiD NiGhTmArE like a spastic chimp ejaculating capital letters.

other than that, i have say it's gajillion times better than anything I wrote.....although that one about eh gravel road in the 8th grade did rock some socks

[theysayloveis]

i really, really like it. i love that you use such amazing descriptive words. my poetry sucks a million times compared to that!!!
i would actually take out the last line, if anything, because the title of your poem is lucid nightmare so the reader, if they have a brain, probably knows what a lucid dream is, so it's irrelevent (sp) to have that line. that's just my two cents. but it's really great scott!!!!

i love you scotty, so don't be mad at my comment

[chaching47]

i'm a fan of simplicity when it comes to poems. big words that are rarely used don't make me feel anything other than annoyed that someone is using big rarely used words to sound complicated and impressive. unless i'm in a lit class, i don't enjoy dissecting poetry. given, they are pretty words. particularly cerulean. i've always loved that color.

"discovers that he controls his kismet." if it weren't for webster.com i would have thought that meant something dirty. hahahaha...why couldn't you just say fate? how do you stumble upon kismet?

i do like the idea of the poem though. it's an interesting concept.