poems for sweet genevieve
Sweet Genevieve 5/23/03 4:40 AM
do I dare write so quickly
just hours after meeting
mesmerized the moment
you entered the room
after a while
our gaze locked
you sweetly nipped me
in passing from afar
attentively awaiting
your attention’s return
languishing almost left
old friends kept me
from lost hope
then into another world
transported by your dancing
to a timeless moment
until dream trance was broken
someone interrupting
with an empty question
waiting again
finally the moment
I had fun talking with you
want to hear your voice
in the quiet somewhere
exploring our connection
precious Genevieve
is that what I should call you
genii and eve together
delight embodied
steel impaled
circled by stars
spine strength of the world tree
goddess heart
biter
your questions were fun for me
sparked a thought
something I often wonder
and what a wonderful chance for us to bring it up
during our first interaction in speech
my spirit stands beside laughing
while we pose in the moment
what am I buying?
a few fleeting moments in time
to talk with you
silli isn’t it
then you were swept away
hoping for more
can’t burn too much energy
wasting in that imagery this time
each moment like an eternity of waiting
so I’ll tend the little flame
born in immediate recognition
thank the blessing of Rain
a wise force of nature
capturing images of the dream in time
and give you this string to follow
out of that labyrinth where we met
hoping you’ll pull it toward light
but back to the question
always like to ask what intentions are
have some idea not imaginary
meaning what I say
so in exchange for what $ has no value
I’ll give you an open opportunity
to follow what spirit’s recognition tells
cause I’d really enjoy seeing you (again)
call me my sweet
*******
5/23/03 1:30pm
so do I dare to dream with you for a moment
allow the kite to rise to heavens once more
have you awakened my silli muse
or is it just the batting of an eye
do ancient memories begin to stir
twisted threads begin to unravel
or waves crest just to shatter and break
I want time to tell me quickly
the clear eye of awareness
tells me you can see
and I can see you seeing me
with yours
******
5/24/03 2:36 AM
i-ching reading from net
Fire Over Wind
Hexagram Image
You have turned the page on a new chapter in life and things are not quite familiar to you yet. Take it easy. Learn the new circumstances as you go. Things will soon become clear.
It takes time to become accustomed to the new organization.
Romance
There is nothing better than a romance where both partners feel the same way about each other, and that's the happy situation you are in at the present.
You have found an excellent partner for yourself and you share many things in common.
*****
5/24/03 12:14 PM
bright one
so happy I am
to have heard your voice
across space in the darkness
I can’t wait to hear it again
know in my heart that I will in time
and try to wait without wanting
but upon arising
had a strong wish
you were there beside me
so happy you make me laugh
just thinking of yesterday did it again
its amazing really
just seeing you for
a couple of hours
has me smiling
and laughing for days
just the memory of a moment
the silli humor of a twisted phrase
sets me off again
endlessly amused
its an unfamiliar feeling
one like a fresh spring breeze
blowing through my heart
will you shake the dust
from the cobwebbed corners
as you pass
or abide and fill all with light
******
5/25/03 1:23 AM
filled with imaginations hope
knowing things are seldom so easy
awaiting opening of the inner eye
so what should the words that will
fill these pages relate when they
find their way to you
not knowing where curiosity lies
have no starting point
so… maybe some general things
that may be relative some how
who knows
how to pique your fancy
is the answer I’m seeking
wander and try to find it
I hoped I saw you today
but looked again and didn’t
wonder how long to wait
until that wish turns real
I’ll try and revisit topics touched before and
fill glib references with more meaning.
what do I like about you
when I said ‘everything’
as your smile revealed
it was kind of a cheating answer
tho its true so far
more specifically tho
you should know that
I like how snappy you are
your straight forward attitude
I like your openness and clarity
how you reveal yourself to me
how seeing you makes me feel
how you like to tease and tantalize me
I like how having seen despair you continue on
maybe part of our recognition
comes from many tragedies we’ve survived
but it’ll take more time and trust
to tease out our tales of woe
I like how you look into my eyes
how you read what my expressions reveal
how you understand what I’m saying without words
the way your mind sees the world
and the humor you color it with to make it live
how your eyes glitter when you’re laughing inside
I like how tender you are
how you smell and touch me
how you don’t fear looking into my eyes
that you like to have fun
I like your sarcasm
and your tolerance for those
who don’t begin to see the joke
sure there’s more that’ll rise in time
look forward to knowing you more
so there’ll be more for me to like
what was I doing there that night
there’s a long and a short answer to that
the short answer is that I was bored
with many of my friends unavailable to entertain me
the long answer is more involved
but may as well fill the moments with something
I’ve been on a search for a new friend for a while now
it has led me down many interesting roads
but none with the destination I’m seeking
my last long relationship was for 10 years
and ended three years ago
since then I’ve had a hand-full of imaginary girlfriends
some more imaginary than others
they’ve left me pretty much broke and broken hearted
as you can imagine I’m not really satisfied with that
being very tactile and needing touching i
get lonely and feral without a sweet other
I have an ex in Portland who has been
praying I’ll meet a girl who’s nice to me
and current time has astrological probability
for me to find one
and I did get that fortune cookie
telling me I’d find a new friend
so… I put myself back on the search for a real girl that day
having freed myself from the others and
everything else holding me to the world
enough that I dared take it up again
that’s the long answer that’s really much longer,
but I don’t want to bore you.
so. that brings me
to a stopping point
wondering if I still have hope
having probably
by now convinced you
I’m a lunatic
*****
5/27/03 1:39 AM
precious one
I am thinking of u again
it happens all the time
the things that go through my head
I’m very silli sometimes
but I guess that is to be expected
so sometimes I wonder what I dare to say
what things wont scare someone away
its hard to know
but the hope grows that with the shared reflection
there is more in store for us
I wont go on and on because I need to sleep
but I want you to know
that I bow to you
recognizing your potential
to completely change my life
you are very sweet to me
even tho I barely know u
recognize that life is chaotic
I can wait for a long tme
wanting the remembrance growing
that there isn’t a better time
its always only now
each moment passing
now I’m feelng the absences
of your presence in my perceptual field
a few days ago that wasn’t there
so it must be future reaching back
sending its concentric vibrations through the illusion of time
so do I know or hope what I feel
only the progression will tell
but know that your number
burns in my phone
with my desire to call it
resist without permission
craving shared experience
wanting you in the present time
knowing its more likely
that things progress as they are
than change
hoping I don’t raise a maelstrom
in a tantrum for attention
yikes
can be very funny sometimes
recognizing the storm that
writhes in my heart
casting hope’s kite that
with you we could ride its eye
instead of falling to its winds demise
I must sleep
hoping your warm image will accompany
me into dream
would I should remember them
arise and awaken with me sweet one
recognizing our extremity as beauty
I want to awaken with you in a new day
I wish you well my precious one
knowing you feel enough to care
wish the feeling of your breath in my ear
as I drift into the darkness
good night
******
5/28/03 12:10 AM
seeking the calm center
often failing in the moment
so listen to the quiet voice
the loud voice saying
throw off the veils
why need to temper light
the quiet one returns
only imbalance sways motion
opens the moment to change
maybe a whisper on the wind
from my heart to yours returned
how I want to bite you back
chained by rules I can’t believe
snarl through this crazy rant
laugh as I rein myself
even seek advice to check myself
so silli I
but know its true
so many avenues to explore
simply to find ordinariness
laughing again knowing how extraordinary
our most ordinary day would be
ancient soul long of tooth and nail
I bow to you
and bite you back with softness
wanting to fall asleep with you in my arms
and with you to awaken
how our black and shining eyes combine
so now I understand
how its not the perfect moment
praying for courage not to care
its not the best of times for me either
remembering to recognize the goddess
allowing her without resistance to reveal herself within
champ at this bit again
wanting my muse to bolt into the night sky
but the days toll urges body’s rest
how quickly the time flows
hours turning into days
magnetism not fading growing
must wander off into the night again
: (
*****
5/30/03 3:16 AM
hrllo my precious. I’m so glad that I got to see ou tonight. as I said, I really want to mee t you . have ome time together to see waat we feel.
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o
, veru f;ttered tp b e upir [pploe/
tgjag upi cam sde see je [pploe ,e/
o ,sit s;ee[/ s,pptces ,u sweet pme
amd [;easmt dre,s/ ca;; , sppm sweet pme/
kef
(hello my precious. I’m so glad I got to see you tonight. I really want to meet you and have some time together to see what we feel.
sadly I’m at the point of exhaustion again, so can’t say all I would. I do want you to know that you are sweet to me. its very special that you called me pookie. to bad others needed to be sarcastic but its all lost on me. as it tells me more about them than about anything else.
I’m very flattered to be your pookie
something else about pookie
I want to see you sweet one
hope you have pleasant dreams and call me soon sweet one
*******
5/31/03 3:26 Am
wow I guess last nights missive turned into gurgablur when my fingers weren’t where they belonged on the keys.
so I like thinking of you at the end of my day
as I get ready to drift into that black nothingness of sleep
having seen you yesterday I’m reassured
that you’re not just a fading dream
I’m so glad you’re real
thank you my darling one for
the blessing of your presence in my life.
knowing you and thinking of you fills my world
with a different light considerably brighter.
can’t wait to see you again
hoping it’s this weekend but who knows
hope you’re resting well all safe and sound
as I drift away toward sleep
I love your sweet smile
and am so glad to see it
********
6/1/03 5:14 AM
Preciousness
another day has passed without me seeing you
do I care too much still
need to cool my jets a little more
or just dedicate myself more fully to your devotion
silli I
frustrated that I still couldn’t call you
spent the day for you since I couldn’t be with you
finding the stones then
making trinkets for your entertainment
missing the look in your eyes
the warmth of you beside me
the feeling of passions flame rising when you are near
hear me calling you with the birds singing now
wishing
it’s cool out today
I wanna snuggle in the blankets
a moth to the flame of your warmth
nuzzle you to care’s release
so as I hunker down against the chill
conserve my warmth for another day
dream you hoping you’ll appear before me
relearning patience again and again
soon again most precious one
*****
6/2/03 6:19 AM
most delicious one
I call to you again with the dawn
how is it that by the end of the weekend
my sleep schedule is completely turned around
I prefer to be up at night
silli I
preferring the dark to light
I sought your voice again today
with no connection found on the material realm
so I’ll call to you in sleep and dream
wanting to hear your voice in my ear
you’re very compelling sweet one
captivating my mind and heart so well
I can just anticipate all the more the moment
when we meet next time
you are the tantalizing one
and I thought I was good
so. thrilled for the chance to try
like falling into the infinite sky
I’ll find my way to you in time
again must rest now
mind shutting down
wanting
feeling
dreaming
anticipated seeing
touch
and purest joy
nitey night precious delight
I’m cracking a whip on the phone company now……
********
6/2/03 11:49 PM
as you can see from the timestamp
I’m making a vain attempt to sleep
early enough that I don’t become
a zombie again this week.
yikes
I’m glad I could hear your voice today
sorry I caught you at a bad time
I can give you a ride you know
if you ask me
hoping you‘re well I’ll have to coast
again for a couple of days at least
not to be annoying.
apologizing for my impatience again
slink away from eden’s gate once more
dream messages cast in bottles to the sea
will they land where they will or where they should be
difficult to say or know
know the feeling is real
no doubting it.
tie myself up in knots
stretch the mind for days
until obstructions desist and fade away
as much as I need to chain myself
resist the missing you driving me
I’ll hope not see you until its in another place
wishing I’ll have the strength to stay away
I’m so silli sometimes
even I can hardly stand it
so…good night my darling one
call me sweet one soon
*****
6/6/03 5:08 AM
see… how about that
I did it again
the birds are happily singing outside
greeting the new day as
mine ends winding down
slinky is growling and hissing at kismet
with a name like that tho, she can’t go wrong
I was very happy to see you today
sweet one… your hand feels good in mine
I like being with you
and hope we can spend more time
I’m silli being so impatient
time will bring us what it will
my muse needs launching again
I’m sinking into rambling
finding words inadequate
I wanna curl up with you sweet one
and now should fade for another day
try to arise and greet the morrow rested
not much chance of that
maybe I’ll be able to take a nap.
I hope you’re sleeping well and soundly sweet one
as I slip into the dark once more.
I guess I haven’t quite slipped yet
my mind is over active again
I like it better when it’s shut off
rain said we can ride horseys sometime
that would be fun. its been a long time
can’t wait to see you….. very soon I hope
*****
6/9/03 12:56 AM
greetings precious
most delightful loveliness
sweetest divinity enfleshed
deliciousness in human form
I’m here missing you again
being a veggie at home instead of
going out to see you
I made cookies tonight
my silli mooncake snickerdoodles
some girls tell me they fall asleep with them
so maybe I’ll give you some of them
and who knows what may happen then
see how insane I am
at the end of my fraying rope
unable to do anything but walk away and hope
for a brighter day or warmer luminescent night
why do I rant and rave so
beat the bars with the dented cup
fear the need to imprison my feelings
just to keep them from getting hurt
try to scratch my way out
of the straightjacket again
I want to see you where
I’m allowed to touch you
so I can ease your tensions
without getting nudged
my calm parts have some knowledge
some hidden dream they keep alive
I rail at it as well
opening just to wonder why
but every time
tho my heart’s been shattered a thousand times
I don’t want to ever not try
kismet is lying in the bed with me
for the first time
purring loudly watching the words
move across the screen as they write
its sweet that you wear the things I make for you
I want to make more
adornments and raiment
fit for the goddess that you are
hoping you’ll explore that vision with me
I call to you through the darkness
send the nighthawks to scream hello
as you return home for the night
can’t wait to see you again
can’t wait for pain’s cloud to pass
spin smiling with you into light
with heart’s ease in your embrace
so….
come to me my love…
soon
******
6/10/03 12:29 AM
sweet and precious one
I yearn for you my darling one
want to spend days and hours alone with you
you are such a delight to be around
so sweet to reveal yourself to me
telling me what the other girl saw
I’m glad I’m not crazy
tho… of course I am
I love how your lip curls when you smile
girl who always makes something funny
happen to my eyes
I’m almost afraid you’ll make me all googlely
rain said I was looking out of hand mischievous
so I guess we’ll see what happens won’t we
impatiently I can’t wait. : )
so silli I
so my sweet one
my precious delight
what can I say as I drift off to sleep tonight
it was fun to see you
I love it every time
I get lost in your glossy lips sometimes
anticipating their sweetness
I hope you like the cookies
my little loony mooncakes
they probably have you locked in the room again now
girl who didn’t call me again to take her home
you’re very sweet knowing I have to try and sleep
oh yes… also I can cook some things
with some practice probably whatever you like
hoping I’ll see you tomorrow
good night and sweet dreams
my most precious one
6/13/03 6:43 PM
sweet and delicious one
so wonderful to hear your sweet voice
that my babblings didn’t
make you scream and run away
it makes me laugh of course
as so many things seem to do these days
so.. along with dominating the world
you must be a happy maker
yippee
I was pacing a minute ago
anxious with anticipation
so silli I
I’ll have to think of something
to help you wake up quicker
when you want to
maybe I could nibble your ear or something….
maybe tease you into a frenzy
that might be fun
I want to see the sunrise with you sweet one
after a night that has passed like a moment
maybe hours stretching into months
the next line was gonna be that I
feel like I’ve just woken up from a long
dreamless restless sleep in the sun
and I kept thinking that until you called
then the sweet respite of your presence for a moment
then you were gone again
to work for some hours
I miss you sweet one
wish I were with you now
or I wish you were with me
the ghosts are restless tonight
it must be the oncoming fullness of the moon
they were beating the drum as I drifted toward
a dream of you.
*****
6/14/03 3:06 AM
so sweet one, here I am again
in bed with my keyboard
fondly thinking of you
its very sweet of you to call me
give me the pleasure of your company
for another stolen moment
very kind of you to call me
and wish me a good night
an hour later I noticed
I still had a silli smile
sweet delightfulness
I had another little moment later
remembering I was born in the
“pumpkin capital of the world”
a funny thing that wouldn’t’ you say?
seeking dreamland now
so I can wake to see you
on the morrow
look at the moonlight’s bright
reflecting from the floor
sending a warm hug to you
across the silvery waves
goodnight most precious one
*******
6/16/03 2:33 AM
Most delicious one
thank you my darling one
for taking time with me
experiences give me taste
of my silli triggers
time will help me recognize
as I learn your differences
so I thank you sweet one
for calling me this evening
for taking a moment to assuage my fears
I’m just sorry I missed the ringing
it just gave me the message
you’re very sweet to call
I’ll hope to hear from you on the morrow
wish for some moments to spend with you
want to feel you next to me all the time
hope I’ll have the strength to persevere
know I will though some moments are hard
in time things will balance out
and knowing will rule all doubts
apologize for my impatient nature
so my sweet one my precious delight
continuing to purify myself for the coming time
hoping to be a fitting vessel for your desire
try to calmly watch the time pass till its right
not fight the currents or strain the stitches across my heart
seek the clarity that will help me find a new name for you
one that reflects your goddess nature
star spangled maybe you should be Nuit
goddess of the night sky
another one too hard to say
maybe just sky (to represent your expansiveness),
storm lightning (recognizing how you light the night),
starlight (your infinite mystery)
what about Pandora? (mischievous curiosity)
or Lorelei (inspiring longing)
Eris (extreme playfulness)
or Isis (power to restore the broken dream)
maybe Luna or Maya.
or here are a couple more for you to peruse
skydancer, nikitta, quizette,
we’ll have to talk about what you want it to be for
once again, before I rest my silli head for the night
thank you for the good night wish
I return now to you and hold it near my heart
as I drift toward dream
rest well my love
wishing your dreams will be pleasant ones
send blue light to surround your repose
see you soon again my darling one
good nite
******
6/16/03 10:24 PM
captured fancy (published in the Metropolitan Forum)
from the moment our eyes met
sparks like lightning in the night sky
exotically exciting enticingly
perpetuating amusement
giving my muse new voice
hymning the moments dragging
since last seeing you
which goddess will you be tonight
silvery dark, soft light, spiky, wild or shy
bright spirit glittering always shining through
I can believe the persistence of my smile
and the light I see in your eyes
each time endlessly entrancing me
when the fragrance of our passion rises
be it spicy, musky, fruity flowery
taste like frozen lavender the first time
like nothing else before it
sparkly tingly intriguing
so in this memory of an “I saw you”
let this be one little wish I make true
I’d gladly bring brightest ones with you.
can’t wait until I see that light in your eyes
hear your sweet voice, breath in my ear
feel your warmth beside me near
you know it’s you
my delicious Genevieve
call me sweet one soon
silli I
*********
6/22/03 1:30 AM
delicious
how I wish you here with me
as much fun as a cabin and a lake can be
would be so much more with the delight of your presence
so… I wish for you
know you’re busy
can’t wait for you to be free
to have some time to come with me
see where our path leads
days are long and nights sad without you
empty time passing pierces me like a dart
when we’re apart my crabby nature rules me
I prefer dancing toward flight
enticement leading to fulfillment
my brain is mush missing you
thankful for this much clarity
send you bright wishes on the wind
hoping to spend time with you soon…
**********
6/23/03 5:05 PM
most precious deliciousness
you occupy my mind
as I go to rest and then arise
persisting all the time
the vision of your eyes
as you look into mine
a timeless moment
that can last for days
************
6/27/03 2:05 AM
lost in the memory of your gaze
longing for the next time we meet
wishing for seeing you every day
missing you sweet one
want to find you beside me
turn around and find you there
replacing absence with presence
its grey and desolate without you
wishing end to days spent with dead spirits
past fading away, awaken to a new day
wishing you would call me
my phone rings
sadly it’s some Mexican
can’t speak enough English to read my ad
isn’t it pleasant
wanting distractions to fade
leaving memories of your eyes in mine
and the reflection of your smile
call me soon sweet one
toward sleep with a wish for tomorrow
upon awakening, your voice in my ear
*******
6/28/03 12:44 AM
precious one
seeing the number of the day
a month and more is gone
since we met this time
it passes quickly
wishing knowing would reflect being
want to see you every day
wait for the moment when I find you there
sweet mysterious girl I long for
I want to see you sweet one
not for a minute at the bar
in the real world
resisting going there is hard
missing you wanting to see you
my heart sings to you lovely
call me soon most darling one
*******
7/9/03 1:39 AM
mind in a whirl
decide to write
capture some of its wanderings
these days
kismet was waiting for me in my bed tonight
and she lies beside me now.
on a pillow.
thinking about world domination
not satisfied with just this one
but dominion in all domains
an interesting concept
striding through them
skywalkers and worldbringers
happy travelers
always finding amazement
my every hope and prayer
that it’s a wisdom display
seek to understand what
entities surrounding me reveal
await the day we can celebrate the now together
*********
7/14/03 3:05 PM
spinning in the void
wreathed in darkness
while surrounded by light
mystic chords binding
to this desolate realm
dakinis intoxicated
consumed by their own mystic fire
all time spent in recovery
no energy for discovery
emptiness abounds
cut off from communication
alone blazing across the abyss
what do they say about gazing
into it for too long and
it gazes back into you?
so are those the ancient
eyes that peer out
from our dark souls?
blind to the light and life
another month to
drag forward through
accompanied by absence
how is it different
from inaccessibility
or maybe it’ll fly on wings
assured by strength of heartsong
purbhas anchored hilt deep in awareness
dependence transmuted to mastery
mind’s opening like a light going on
really there’s no distance between
so think of me and I’ll be there