Inspired by late-night conversations
So I wrote a story. It's the first thing I've written in a long time that I think is good, so I'm pretty proud of myself.
Taking Back Himself
All she wanted was to be real. It seemed simple enough at first to move in, to share that space with him. He would understand. He could share. And it wasn't as though they were so different, the two of them. Perhaps it was why she chose him, or perhaps she made him that way, or he made her that way, it was impossible to tell. But through him she was able to have a life and a family and be real.
At first she thought that it wouldn't be a battle, wouldn't be about subjugation. They could share. They could live in peace. But when everyone behaved as though she was real and he was not - indeed, they didn't even seem to know he existed - she was forced to admit that it wasn't going to be that simple.
It had to be her, of course. Everyone knew her, enough of them liked her, most who didn't like her probably wouldn't like him either. And now that she'd had a taste she wasn't about to give up what she had. It was too precious and she'd worked so hard and he didn't deserve it anyway, did he?
So she crushed him and stamped him down and convinced herself that she was the real one. At this point he was too battered from the conflict with her and the lack of acknowledgment from their environment to put up much of a fight. She was almost disappointed in him and thought he must be disappointed in himself but he said and did nothing. And so she'd won, and it was her, and nobody knew she'd won except him and her and soon even she didn't know because she had begun to forget him and forget what she had done.
It was because of the forgetting, it must have been, because if she hadn't forgotten about him he might not have found the strength. She was surprised when he fought back after acquiescing so long and was so long out of practice that she wasn't sure how to fight back. The wounds surprised her and she scars shamed her but even then she wasn't sure if they were hers or his. She couldn't afford to forget him again, he was too strong now. Perhaps they could compromise, she thought, perhaps they could share. So she tried to share with him and didn't even realize that it was the worst possible thing for both of them. It left him wounded and then scarred, because people would look at him and see her and tell him that he was her. And oh, how he hated her. She'd taken his place in the world and when she gave it back to him only for a little while he found that it had become hers in his absence.
And so he fights back and finds that now it is she who is not strong enough to resist him. He takes over quickly and she is helpless to stop him. He doesn't fight the way she did. She left him broken, bleeding, helpless and alone. He doesn't assault her or damage her but then again he doesn't need to. He simply asserts himself more and more strongly, taking back the place that was his before she took it from him.
Taking back his place is difficult. She has changed things and he's not sure that he recognizes it at times even though he knows that it is his. It's painful and it doesn't fit but eh forces himself into it because it is the only place that he can go. The process leaves him with scars but these scars he wears proudly as badges of his struggle, his survival, his bloody triumph.
And rather than being battered like he was, she fades. He wants to forget her and pretends to have forgotten her but he can't forget or maybe he just isn't trying hard enough.
The scars are raw and the hurt him still and even his pride in his strength and his courage cannot soothe the pain entirely. He hides the scars despite his pride in them, he doesn't think that showing them is wise. After all, the scars are a gift of sorts from her and will not leave him in peace. Hiding the scars hides the past, hides the fact that she was at one point stronger than him.
There are still people who look at him and see her but it's more willful blindness on their part than any remaining power she has over him. She is not gone, perhaps she never will be entirely but it is now he that is real and strong and owning the place in the world.
And she is little more than a ghost who haunts him when he goes to pick up his paychecks.
Taking Back Himself
All she wanted was to be real. It seemed simple enough at first to move in, to share that space with him. He would understand. He could share. And it wasn't as though they were so different, the two of them. Perhaps it was why she chose him, or perhaps she made him that way, or he made her that way, it was impossible to tell. But through him she was able to have a life and a family and be real.
At first she thought that it wouldn't be a battle, wouldn't be about subjugation. They could share. They could live in peace. But when everyone behaved as though she was real and he was not - indeed, they didn't even seem to know he existed - she was forced to admit that it wasn't going to be that simple.
It had to be her, of course. Everyone knew her, enough of them liked her, most who didn't like her probably wouldn't like him either. And now that she'd had a taste she wasn't about to give up what she had. It was too precious and she'd worked so hard and he didn't deserve it anyway, did he?
So she crushed him and stamped him down and convinced herself that she was the real one. At this point he was too battered from the conflict with her and the lack of acknowledgment from their environment to put up much of a fight. She was almost disappointed in him and thought he must be disappointed in himself but he said and did nothing. And so she'd won, and it was her, and nobody knew she'd won except him and her and soon even she didn't know because she had begun to forget him and forget what she had done.
It was because of the forgetting, it must have been, because if she hadn't forgotten about him he might not have found the strength. She was surprised when he fought back after acquiescing so long and was so long out of practice that she wasn't sure how to fight back. The wounds surprised her and she scars shamed her but even then she wasn't sure if they were hers or his. She couldn't afford to forget him again, he was too strong now. Perhaps they could compromise, she thought, perhaps they could share. So she tried to share with him and didn't even realize that it was the worst possible thing for both of them. It left him wounded and then scarred, because people would look at him and see her and tell him that he was her. And oh, how he hated her. She'd taken his place in the world and when she gave it back to him only for a little while he found that it had become hers in his absence.
And so he fights back and finds that now it is she who is not strong enough to resist him. He takes over quickly and she is helpless to stop him. He doesn't fight the way she did. She left him broken, bleeding, helpless and alone. He doesn't assault her or damage her but then again he doesn't need to. He simply asserts himself more and more strongly, taking back the place that was his before she took it from him.
Taking back his place is difficult. She has changed things and he's not sure that he recognizes it at times even though he knows that it is his. It's painful and it doesn't fit but eh forces himself into it because it is the only place that he can go. The process leaves him with scars but these scars he wears proudly as badges of his struggle, his survival, his bloody triumph.
And rather than being battered like he was, she fades. He wants to forget her and pretends to have forgotten her but he can't forget or maybe he just isn't trying hard enough.
The scars are raw and the hurt him still and even his pride in his strength and his courage cannot soothe the pain entirely. He hides the scars despite his pride in them, he doesn't think that showing them is wise. After all, the scars are a gift of sorts from her and will not leave him in peace. Hiding the scars hides the past, hides the fact that she was at one point stronger than him.
There are still people who look at him and see her but it's more willful blindness on their part than any remaining power she has over him. She is not gone, perhaps she never will be entirely but it is now he that is real and strong and owning the place in the world.
And she is little more than a ghost who haunts him when he goes to pick up his paychecks.