football rps: well. porn.

[dorkorific]

Title: The District, Outtake 1: The Au Pair
Author: Rave (dorkorific)
Fandoms: Football RPF AU
Characters: Xabi Alonso, Mats Hummels, Steven Gerrard
Disclaimer: I probably don't have to tell you that this entire premise is ludicrous.
Warnings: explicit sex, voyeurism(?), power-play-ish themes
Summary: Political AU; Xabi meets the guy taking care of Stevie's

Comments

[rosykate]

ahahaa okay I'm going to read this in a minute, but I just wanted to say that the Hummels gif with him winking? It is basically incredibly violating, but I like it.

[dorkorific]

I KNOW RIGHT. it's those bedroom eyes. every picture of him you're like...how can you SEE ME through the computer screen, mats?? how do you know what I'm thinking

[rosykate]

UGH OKAY SO I AM THE ACTUAL WORST. I totally read and wrote a reply to this, and then I let it sit in a tab for a week. Why? Because I'd see this, scroll down to look at Mats Hummels, and then assume that I had posted. THIS HAPPENED LIKE FIVE TIMES, THAT'S HOW BRAIN-MELTINGLY HOT HE IS.

Anywho. So this was kind of amazingly filthy! Fantastic. Either you or yeats must watch a lot of Mad Men, because Pepe was right - every inch of this was the full Senor Donald Draper experience. He was just so smooth! Neither Mats nor Stevie nor I ever stood a chance. Let's just take it as read that this was so hot I was honestly flustured. I was blushing while I was reading this and I've been reading porn on the internet since I was like twelve (which possibly warped me as a person, who can say?).

Stevie's voice really made this whole thing for me. I was alternately laughing at him for being blind or being indignant on his behalf or, as I mentioned above, blushing like my face was on fire.

“I still can’t believe you’re perving on my au pair,” Stevie

[influira]

“Not if you’re too busy having sex,” Stevie yelled after him, which was lame.
omg hahahahahahahha

omg alkdfjsklajfalksjfklsaj

OKAY THIS COMMENT SUCKS BUT I'M INCAPABLE AT THE MOMENT OKAY

[dorkorific]

HAHAHahahahah well he IS too busy having sex, evidently!! STEVIE YOU WERE NOT WRONG. I'm really glad you liked it, dude. or at least keysmashed it. :D

[everyforever]

UMMM I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY I WASN'T EVEN EXPECTING THIS HOLY SHIT UM SO MATS IS REALLY HOT & THE IDEA OF HE & XABI .. JUST .. I..

AND THE END WITH STEVIE I JUST

omg idek

[dorkorific]

OKAY WELL I DID, YOU KNOW, I TRIED TO WARN YOU that there is no excuse for this whatsoever, I mean it goes beyond "fanon" to just "mats is really really hot" and also you KNOW that district!xabi would be the type to get all smug about dating a european art student, like that would totally be his type, all ~sophisticated, not that I have thought about this a lot, BUT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT. anyway, idek either, obviously. ♥

[wh_mermaid]

Oh. My. God. UUUNNNNNFFFFF

I can't even come up with a good comment right now. My mind is... my whole body is just in a puddle of fangirlly goo- melted away on the floor. This pairing? Fucking amazing, seriously. Oh god, I need alone time after this.

This was fucking awesome <3

[dorkorific]

ashjkshfskd this pairing, right?? you would never think of it, and then once you DO, it is as if the Muse of Porn has grabbed you by both cheeks and kissed you right on the mouth. like, here is how that happened:

[dorkorific]

anfjknskjsn THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'm so glad you liked it. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

oh hey xabi i know someone who could do that for you and his name rhymes with shmeeven

ahahahahahaha. yeah seriously xabi like...have you not been paying attention?? how can you be so smart and yet SO DUMB.