22 Things Jono’s Not Allowed to Do as a New Warrior
Title: 22 Things Jono’s Not Allowed to Do as a New Warrior
Fandom: Marvel
Characters: Jonothon Starsmore
Prompt: 99. Weird
Word Count: 367
Rating: PG
Summary: Inspired by the infamous Skippy List and the success of the Billy Kaplan version, I bring you a new piece of interactive fiction.
Author's Notes: Anyone who wants to, feel free to add to the list!
1. It doesn’t matter who demands it, or how many times it is demanded: There is to be no Kilt-Check.
1a. No, not even if it’s a part of my heritage.
2. Not allowed to wear a kilt properly.
2a. Not even if it’s part of my heritage.
3. We are the New Warriors, not the Ex-X-Men.
4. Not allowed to refer to Wondra as Cyclopse, even if everyone else agrees with me.
5. We do not charge into battle naked, like the Celts.
6. I’m not allowed to do my Dick van Dyke impression anymore, as everyone now knows that my accent isn’t that thick.
7. No more prank calling Frost.
8. Not allowed to use my new powers to taunt people.
9. Not allowed to threaten to burn peoples’ faces off.
10. Not allowed to ask Barnell about his nose job.
11. Not allowed to ask Jubilee about her boob job.
12. Not allowed to throw a baby shower for Monet.
13. No matter how irritating they are, I’m not allowed to use my powers on the Loners. (I keep telling these buggers that I never met them before, except for Penny)
14. Not allowed to send Monet gift baskets full of apples.
15. Not allowed to quote The Blues Brothers.
16. My code name is ‘Decibel’, not ‘Baneshee II’.
17. Not allowed to blow out the eardrums of those who call me ‘Apocalypse Jr.’ or ‘Pocky-Lips’.
18. Not allowed to sing ‘High Speed Dirt when anyone is flying. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)
19. Not allowed to encourage people’s belief in grey aliens.
20. Not allowed to moon Iron Man.
21. Not allowed to become a super villain during training missions.
22. I am not the Elephant Man.
Added by amarin_rose on 09-23-07
23. I am not Rain Man.
24. Not allowed to dance naked under the sky, even if I call it a 'rain dance'.
25. Not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to everyone on the team.
25b. Not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to everyone on our old team(s).
25b. Not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to anyone.
25c. Especially not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to Paige, with the caption "Nicer than yours will ever be." (added by ragingpie 10-22-07)
Added by Jader on 09-27-07
26. Not allowed to corrupt Barry and Angel's kids
27. Dwayne's codename is not "Bondage Queen"
27a. Dwayne's codename is not "Leather Daddy"
27b. Dwayne is not to be referred to as anything other than "Night Thrasher" or "Sir"
Added by ragingpie 10-22-07
28. Not allowed to burp the alphabet, even though I can now.
29. Not allowed to eat Jubilee's secret stash of candy, even if I claim "I have to make up for lost time."
30. Not allowed to set up a kissing booth, even if I claim "I have to make up for lost time."
30a. Not even if I do it as a fundraiser for the team.
31. Not allowed to wear leather pants when out of uniform, as it distracts the ladies.
31a. The sole exception to this rule is when Jubilee wants to go dancing.
Added by fullmetal_cute 10-22-07
32. If I plan to do anything based on the fact that I am making up for lost time, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
Fandom: Marvel
Characters: Jonothon Starsmore
Prompt: 99. Weird
Word Count: 367
Rating: PG
Summary: Inspired by the infamous Skippy List and the success of the Billy Kaplan version, I bring you a new piece of interactive fiction.
Author's Notes: Anyone who wants to, feel free to add to the list!
1. It doesn’t matter who demands it, or how many times it is demanded: There is to be no Kilt-Check.
1a. No, not even if it’s a part of my heritage.
2. Not allowed to wear a kilt properly.
2a. Not even if it’s part of my heritage.
3. We are the New Warriors, not the Ex-X-Men.
4. Not allowed to refer to Wondra as Cyclopse, even if everyone else agrees with me.
5. We do not charge into battle naked, like the Celts.
6. I’m not allowed to do my Dick van Dyke impression anymore, as everyone now knows that my accent isn’t that thick.
7. No more prank calling Frost.
8. Not allowed to use my new powers to taunt people.
9. Not allowed to threaten to burn peoples’ faces off.
10. Not allowed to ask Barnell about his nose job.
11. Not allowed to ask Jubilee about her boob job.
12. Not allowed to throw a baby shower for Monet.
13. No matter how irritating they are, I’m not allowed to use my powers on the Loners. (I keep telling these buggers that I never met them before, except for Penny)
14. Not allowed to send Monet gift baskets full of apples.
15. Not allowed to quote The Blues Brothers.
16. My code name is ‘Decibel’, not ‘Baneshee II’.
17. Not allowed to blow out the eardrums of those who call me ‘Apocalypse Jr.’ or ‘Pocky-Lips’.
18. Not allowed to sing ‘High Speed Dirt when anyone is flying. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)
19. Not allowed to encourage people’s belief in grey aliens.
20. Not allowed to moon Iron Man.
21. Not allowed to become a super villain during training missions.
22. I am not the Elephant Man.
Added by amarin_rose on 09-23-07
23. I am not Rain Man.
24. Not allowed to dance naked under the sky, even if I call it a 'rain dance'.
25. Not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to everyone on the team.
25b. Not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to everyone on our old team(s).
25b. Not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to anyone.
25c. Especially not allowed to take secret pictures of Jubilee's new breasts and email them to Paige, with the caption "Nicer than yours will ever be." (added by ragingpie 10-22-07)
Added by Jader on 09-27-07
26. Not allowed to corrupt Barry and Angel's kids
27. Dwayne's codename is not "Bondage Queen"
27a. Dwayne's codename is not "Leather Daddy"
27b. Dwayne is not to be referred to as anything other than "Night Thrasher" or "Sir"
Added by ragingpie 10-22-07
28. Not allowed to burp the alphabet, even though I can now.
29. Not allowed to eat Jubilee's secret stash of candy, even if I claim "I have to make up for lost time."
30. Not allowed to set up a kissing booth, even if I claim "I have to make up for lost time."
30a. Not even if I do it as a fundraiser for the team.
31. Not allowed to wear leather pants when out of uniform, as it distracts the ladies.
31a. The sole exception to this rule is when Jubilee wants to go dancing.
Added by fullmetal_cute 10-22-07
32. If I plan to do anything based on the fact that I am making up for lost time, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.