Twitter Rejects
- I just saw a hawk do fucking backflips in mid-air trying to catch a pigeon in flight #WHAT
I guess there's not a lot to say about this: I saw a hawk doing backflips in mid-air, and it was fucking badass. It was after that really traumatic dentist's appointment, at the southwest corner of Washington Square Park, and basically the coolest thing ever.
- I'm watching iCarly with the girls I babysit, and they've hired a boy to dance on command in light-up pants who has a bright future as a go-go dancer. I mean that both literally and figurateively.
LOL light-up pants. I don't know why I didn't tweet this at the time. I love iCarly, but they do lots of awkward things like this all the time. I really don't need 15 year olds to be actively sexualized on tv, really.
- I just heard a man in line with me refer to his s.o. as 'darling' and 'precious' over the phone. I don't care if it's via phone, if someone said that to me I'd find a way to punch them.
This was when I was waiting in line at JFK for two hours (without making it to the front WHAT A LINE). I think I didn't tweet this one because all I did for two hours was update my twitter. Some of those were actually pretty good, let's be real. But seriously, precious? No thank you. I am no one's precious.
- I have recently accepted/embraced the fact that I am a total hipster. This has come with a number of ramifications.
- Pros: hipsters smile at me now. Cons: no one else smiles at me anymore.
True. All true.
- ALL HE'S DOING IS EMAILING HIS GF STUPID EMOTICONS #RAGE
This is about the dude who cut me in line at JFK and was using a cell phone and a blackberry at the same time. What a tool. My rage was completely justified.
- There is a man with white hair who has been running from airline person to airline person all morning. He just showed up with a cooler, I'm convinced it's full of organs. I hope he shares, I'm getting hungry again.
Listen, I had already eaten my plane snack, and the Dunkin Donuts was at the other end of the terminal. I WAS IN THAT LINE FOR TWO HOURS, OKAY. That kind of thing changes you.
- Back in NY! I was watching Uncle Buck on the flight when turbulence hit, & I realized that this was not how I want to go.
I tweeted something to this effect. It's still true, I do not want watching Uncle Buck to be my last experience on this earth. It actually kind of put things into perspective for me.
- Who would hang out with a person wearing a shirt that says 'I'm the Fun Friend'? It takes a big person to own up to being that boring.
I think this is me hating on either shirts they sell at the airport, or shirts people wear to the airport. Either way, seriously?
- We just saw near-simultaneous thunder and lightening wayyy to close to our train, and outside smells like a tire fire. But I'm almost home!
This was me worrying that I would die on the subway before making it home. I'm still kind of convinced we were hit by lightening, because I don't know what else would produce that smell of scorched rubber. But it was okay in the end!
- A Jewish person wished me a happy Passover a few weeks ago. I think I responded with a happy Easter, but surprise! I don't really care about either!
Gotcha, Jewish person.
- I am a second semester junior in college, and at 3:10 every afternoon I still think, 'Class is OVER! I am OUT!'
My high school was so small that we were all on the same schedule. The same schedule, every day, for three years (I was only there for three years, anyway). Lunch was at 11:15, classes ended at 3:10. I think that will be forever associated with those times, for me.