I'm a single lady

Feb 08, 2010 22:57

Being female, in your 40s, and single sucks ( Read more... )

dating

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Comments 20

drfardook February 9 2010, 04:58:34 UTC
I'm on G2G as well and they really need to think about their business strategy. Yeah, great idea for a site, but for $25 a month, you really need to offer more. Unless their business model is to get guys who will email EVERYONE within a 50 mile radius and then rage quit a month later when no one responds to their You Jane, Me Tarzan's Couch Potato Brother Elmont invites.

I can kind of understand lying about the height thing. There are a lot of women's profiles (including plenty of short chicks) who are pretty explicit that they want someone tall. Its a very common expectation for women who describe what they want out of a potential partner physically. So for someone like myself at 5'7", you feel you come up... well... short.

Its still an incredibly stupid thing to lie about. Weight you could theoretically do something about but height you're stuck with.

I'm not having much luck on the bottom half of my 30's. Women still appear to be doing checklist dating in my range of 29-39.

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lachupacabra February 9 2010, 05:09:32 UTC
im curious! what is checklist dating?

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drfardook February 9 2010, 05:24:02 UTC
Its looking at dating as a multiple choice test rather than a series of essay questions. Where you look for characteristics (tall, dark, handsome, blue eyes, wealthy, sharp dresser, big strong hands, etc...) and won't settle for less than an 85% score.

I don't know if its a symptom of living in The Big City where you feel you can always find someone better because there are so many people here.

I think we do have to make a checklist to a certain extent. I'm childfree (and had elective surgery to remain so) for example. That's a very big deal-breaker for people and you NEED to get that out of the way up front.

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dorothy_parka February 9 2010, 15:35:07 UTC
ah, that is true, I've heard from some other guys that women want height. that's the same reason I changed my body type from a few extra pounds to average. Probably everyone _thinks_ if I say I've average I have a few extra pounds. So many things to decipher!

The checklist is annoying. But there is a whole world of art chicks out there who don't have a list, other than the right politics.

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lachupacabra February 9 2010, 05:08:19 UTC
id go for the ron jeremy look alike only if he wasnt conservative
& he looked alike in the way that separates ron jeremy from super mario.
(altho who really knows whats under marios overalls?)
;)

i only have a few absolute instant deal breakers left & politics is one of them.
if hes not conservative, ill give him a chance.
altho meeting ppl SUCKS so fucking bad, i dont even try anymore.

have you tried nerve.com's personals?
i think theyre a little better than some other sites.
i choke on vomit every time an eharmony commercial comes on.
(i think thats the dating site run by JEEEEEEZZUS)

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dorothy_parka February 9 2010, 15:37:09 UTC
I'm on nerve, but they tend to skew a little younger. Most of the guys seem to be in their 20s and 30s, and the ones that want "cougars" really want to date Demi Moore :)

yeah, politics is a HUGE deal breaker for me.

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tdaschel February 9 2010, 07:29:43 UTC
my estranged spouse once told me - and she was a keen observer of many, many things - that during her era of Personal Ads she discovered that .. an unfortunate majority of males didn't seem to have read her ad at all / that those who did seemed to've done so only as some sort of reconnaissance mission (i.e., to discover what tact to take, say the things she'd want to hear). and there were strange expectations like Sex soon and/or *now* and "commit to me before we meet" (or after only meeting once).

my own intention for the future is that i will not plot a relationship with someone i can't be friends with. this sounds terribly, terribly obvious / i mean, what kind of Fool would do otherwise?

well, me and too many other folks.

ps/ thank you for (inadvertently) making me feel positive about my age (DOB 6/10/68). you are a BEACON of post-40 awesomeness (can i say inspiration? you bet!)

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dorothy_parka February 9 2010, 15:41:16 UTC
YES, a lot of guys have not actually read the ad! They just see a photo and are thinking "lady! lady parts! yum!"

We are 40 and fabulous.

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Personally... bghsmith February 9 2010, 18:42:19 UTC
I think you should do the cougar thing. But that may just be my inner-married trying to live vicariously.

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Re: Personally... dorothy_parka February 10 2010, 00:23:30 UTC
Maybe i should put up a cougar-specific ad and see what happens :)

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loosestrife February 9 2010, 19:13:26 UTC
I've concluded that I can't do ads at all. It's not that the guys who turned up were that awful. It's just that the entire project of interviewing complete strangers for boyfriend potential doesn't work for me. My brain simply doesn't work that way.

The age thing is weird too. I know guys who have asked me out in real life whose online profiles would have rejected me, because their cutoff is too young. I think many of us are carrying around some totally obsolete idea of what it means to be some particular age. (Myself included, because I frequently catch myself assuming I'm a dozen-odd years younger than I am.)

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dorothy_parka February 10 2010, 00:25:42 UTC
I don't like interviewing guys either, but I never get asked out in real life. It might be the scowl.

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