This is more for me than anyone else.
So I'm sitting smoking a cigarette and listening to music. Turner's upstairs asleep and I can't fall back asleep so I'm on the computer. I've been looking through looking through livejournals and myspaces, looking at pictures and reading entries and comments and everything else, and thinking about this ridiculous bandwagon everyone's jumped on with these online things [even though I've had an LJ since the end of 2002...feels good to be a sort of veteran of livejournal]. And yet, at the same time it's a good thing cause it's made me realize some stuff. Like the fact that some people I care about--a lot--I've been neglecting. Not intentionally by any means, and some I haven't talked to becuause though I still care I don't really think they even want me to give a damn. So I'm apologizing for not being the friend I should be. I mean, christ, my best friend I've known since kindergarten, her dog died lord knows how many weeks or months ago...a event that seems simple and nothing along the lines of a horrific or life-altering happening but this is just one of those things I should've been aware of, should've made myself aware of, should've been AROUND to be aware of. So let me apologize to the following people. The people who I hardly talked to, but if they called me at 3 in the morning and needed me desperately, I wouldn't think twice about dropping whatever I was doing and doing anything possible to get to where they were at.
Amy G-You're at Saint Mary's, which is far away. You're not ever online and neither am I cause free time is a bitch. Phone tag gets old and gas to see you isn't cheap. I miss you more than you know and I feel bad for not calling to ask how my, what, fourth set of parents is, how school is, what trouble you've gotten yourself into now, or to ask if you want to go whoosh giant santas at Eckard after a Quizno's run. I miss the silly string and the techno and the haunted dorms and throwing almost-melted snow. Call me sometime, and I'm sorry for not calling you more often.
Rana-You're even farther away than Amy, but I could still call you. Carowind's just flat out needs to happen again, and I miss eating all of your parents baklava. EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!, your mom wanting to hit your bicycling neighbor, and her being randomly hungry on your dock that has a nice view of interstate 50 are things that aren't really funny to anyone else so I need YOU to laugh about them with. I need to visit you, and we need to catch up. Badly. I heart you.
Nick-Despite our differences and all that bullshit last spring, I get the feeling we're on...decent terms now? I miss just hanging out as friends and chillin at Starbucks or the mall. I'm here if you ever need me even though I'm fairly sure you'd rather me not care & just leave you alone, but you've got a good friend right down the road if you ever need one, & coffee's on me if you're ever bored. Sorry for anything and everything that ever went way too freakin wrong between us. Peace? ::holds up two fingers::
Jenn-I. Flat. Out. Miss. My. Jennito Burrito. There's no need to go into every memory or every laugh we've shared because I could definitely go on into tomorrow just typing. I'm sorry for not being the best friend I used to be and supporting you and coming to get you at 1 in the morning when things get rough. I want you to know I'm always a call away and I want to see you. You will also eat when I see you. Call me anytime...9194142244.
Alaina-You and I go way to far back and have way too many times to look back on to throw it all away by just not keeping in touch. Congrats on everything you're doing in band, you're amazing. I'm sorry to hear about sweetpea, even if I'm a little or sorta or really late on finding out. I'm sorry I'm not around enough to take lots of pictures for you to have on myspace and to stay up late watching aladin and rewinding it to the 'we got the monkeys' part so many times the tape breaks. Beanie babies and teenage dirtbag and 'talk shows' and running across the street to get a toothbrush then a video game then another controller then back again for PJs at night when the clouds were scary and the ice cream truck Tuesdays and Thursdays and the 'best friends tree' and our countless "clubhouses". How many backstreet boys CDs do you still have? I love you, and I think I'm going to call you today.
Mary-I have two friends in Charlotte, you being one of them. I rarely speak to you and I hardly know anything about what happens in your life. I miss your birthday sleepovers and your mom's homemade sushi and praying for our bus to school not to show up...I'm me more and I'll do the same. We need to meet up and see a show. I love yewww. 9194142244...next time I happen to be in the Charlotte area [er....] lemme know where you be at. hahaha :D
Those are the main people I've been thinking about. There's others, but they aren't quite as close to me as those so I'll apologize to you all as well...call me sometime...Kelly, Channing, Jackson, Will, Rachel, Jessica, Jason, Megan, and Sam. I care about and miss you all. I feel like shit for hardly speaking to people who've been good, and great friends to me over the years. This was more for me to apologize and get it off my chest, as I'm pretty sure most of these people aren't that upset cause we all know everyone's busier than imaginable with work and school and whatever else, but you all just need to know I'm thinkin of you.
Love, your Samino Acids, Yankee Doodle, Little Frog, Spam, Wiccan, 55SecondThrill, PinkDOOMfairy, Jelly Bird, [insert all other thousand of my nicknames given to me by all of the above].