(no subject)
Sasori was lying on his bed, his puppet was sitting at the edge of the bed, he was talking to it, laying his head across the wooden legs, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but he was somehow comfortable. He was saying something to it, not actual understandable words, his words were slurred and mixed together. Somehow he found comfort in his ability to confide in it, even though it couldn't respond without an action started by him. He moved the hand, resting it on his head. His mumbling quieted and he looked up at it, "I don't know mama...what to do..."
Lee had let himself in, and stood frozen, hand on the doorknob; his eyes were fixed on Sasori, roving over the puppet’s fierce façade that the boy was seemingly enamored toward. He started at the word ‘mama’, as it slipped from Sasori, his child-like voice startling. Lee shook himself from his momentary stupor, and stepped forward. “Sasori..? Are you alright? It’s me…Lee…” His voice was calm and cautious.
Sasori looked to Lee, an eyebrow quirked, his eyes narrowed as if he was thinking about who this was. He knew, "Lee," he said to him, "I..." He felt slightly embarrassed and flustered for a moment. "I thought I said not to come, that it'd be bad...." his voice was disturbingly quiet. He sat up, moving off of the puppet, his eyes narrowed.
Lee walked toward him, slowly. “Sasori…I couldn’t just let you stay here and hurt by yourself. Or hurt yourself.” His brow furrowed, worry creasing it. “You don’t look well…” He took another step, cautious; he’d had experience with those under psychotic influence before- and knew that the mind was like a spinning coin, never choosing a stable side.
Sasori stared at Lee, his eyes piercing him and examining him. He moved a little in his bed, leaning against his 'mother' again, the wooden body dropping around his form. "It is dangerous..." he said in a near whisper, "I'm dangerous." He stared right at Lee, the words became nothing more then a mumble for a few moments, as if he was searching and articulating them was difficult. Part of him was embarrassed, though, with this entire situation.
Lee took a few more steps, coming to sit beside Sasori and his ‘mother’. “Sasori, who’s that puppet? Is that…” He almost asked ‘your mother’, but stopped short of the words. “Beloved…”
Sasori's eyes narrowed just a little at Lee, his hand moving up to touch the puppet's 'cheek'. "This one is mother..." he said quietly, he didn't move away from Lee, but he didn't approach him either. "I have a father one, too...and then my aunt and uncle..." he said quietly.
“She’s beautiful. And I’m sure that the others are as wonderfully made.” He reached to gently take Sasori’s hand, slowly curling his fingers around it. “Sasori, why don’t you come with me? Back to my place…I can take care of you there.”
Sasori nodded to Lee when he commented on his 'mother'. He pulled his hand from Lee and shook his head. "It is safe here..." he said quietly. His eyes were cold still, "I don't want to kill someone else I love."
“You won’t kill me, Sasori.” Lee was hurt, trying to hide the look when Sasori pulled his hand away. He hated the lack of contact between the two of them; “Then…if it is so safe here, I’ll stay with you. Whatever pain is worth it. It’s worth it for you.”
"I do it to everyone else!" Sasori said, his voice raising just slightly. "It isn't safe here... you can't stay, Lee, you have to leave. It isn't safe. I'm not safe." His voice slurred into a mumble of words, incoherent.
Lee’s hands curled around Sasori’s shoulders, shaking the boy. “Sasori!” His voice was a bark, an attempt to cut through the haze that was surrounding the smaller boy’s mind. “Don’t speak like that. Don’t.”
Sasori stared at Lee, his e yes narrowed. "I'm just saying what is true..." he said quietly. "I do it to everyone else! Mom, dad, aunt, uncle..." his body didn't register the shake. He just stared at Lee, head tilted, almost curious. "Lee..."
“No, NO. You won’t do it to me. I know you won’t.” Lee’s eyes narrowed, almost slits. “I won’t let you go that crazy, Sasori.” Truth be told, he was terrified, blatantly worried and scared that Sasori would never snap out of this. That he would never get the man he loved to come back out of this terrifying shell.
Sasori stared at Lee for a moment. "I...I can't make any guarantees..." Sasori extended a hand and took the puppets hand, intertwining his flesh fingers with the wooden ones. "Lee..." there was almost a doubt in his voice about if that was who he was talking to.
Lee reached for Sasori’s hand, wishing to take his fingers from the puppet’s, to hold it in his own, to prove to himself that Sasori wasn’t truly as cold as his empty eyes suggested. There was life behind those grey-green orbs- Lee knew there had to be. He could see it flicker when the boy looked at him.
Sasori's fingers were reluctant and they moved from his puppet, his hand shaking when he did this independently. "Lee..." his voice was quieter, more gentle, more like his show that he had been putting on for everyone. "T...this is who I am..."
“Sasori…whoever you are, I love you for it.” Lee’s voice was soft, almost hurt. “I care for you. Regardless of what you’ve done, and you know it. Kill the world, I’ll be right there by your side.” He found himself suddenly on the bed beside Sasori, arms around the boy, half expecting the smaller male to throw him off with loud protest.
Sasori stared for a moment at the person who was embracing him, having been slightly startled at the sudden contact. He didn't react much otherwise though. "Why?" he asked simply, he didn't comprehend it. Somewhere in his mind he didn't see someone like himself deserving of the kindness.
Lee paused, trying to think of how to state his answer. He was silent for a moment, and then a moment longer. “Love, I think, is the simplest answer to that.” Lee’s tone was gentle, “I can’t help but think only good thoughts of you. Whatever you do, I’ll be there. Whatever comes in the future…I want you there at my side, and I want to be by yours. If it were legal, I’d ask for marriage.” He tipped his forehead against Sasori’s, eyes closed, a sign of pure trust. “I can’t explain why I feel like I do about you. You could have killed my family, and I would still have fallen in love.”
Sasori stared at Lee, both of his shakey hands clasping at his shirt. His eyes closed and he slumped just a bit against Lee. That he didn't deserve. "Oh..." he said quietly still, and his head ached trying to think about it a bit. "I...Lee...." he said, "I am used to expressing love through hurting you...." he said, his voice shaking. "Y-you're too kind...Y-you don't deserve that."
“You’ve never hurt me, Sasori.” Lee smiled slightly, a sad sort of look. He was uncertain as to why the younger man would even entertain the idea that he’d harmed Lee- and it disturbed him that such a thought would haunt his beloved. “Love is expressed…through love. Through touch and words, and gifts and whispered things.” Lee’s voice was soft, the sentence ending in the whisper that he spoke of. “It’s songs and Shakespeare.”
"Then my love is wrong..." Sasori said simply. All those things Lee said seemed unrealistic to him. He expressed his love to his parents by creating the puppets, by killing them. "C...can you stay here?" he asked quietly.
“Your love isn’t wrong. It’s just different. Your gifts…” he reached around Sasori, gently brushing ‘mother’s’ hand. “they’re created for different reasons.” He leaned back slightly, smiling at Sasori’s soft question. “Of course I’ll stay. Do you think that I would leave you alone like this? I…want to be with you, however you are.”
"I...they kept me from being alone..." Sasori said simply. "L...like when you came in. They kept me alright...took care of me...because I got rid of the people they really were..." He looked at Lee's chest. "Thank you...." he said in a near whisper.
Lee smiled down at the boy again, the look just as soft and loving as before. “There’s nothing to thank. I’d do anything for you…that’s a promise, Sasori.” He held him close, gently crushed against his chest. After a few moments, he released him, again looking over his shoulder at ‘mother’. “Do you think that she would approve of me?”
Sasori stared at Lee. "Mother wouldn't approve of anything, she loved me by hurting me, Lee. I like this mother better..." he said, referencing his puppet. He felt like he owed Lee thanks, but he stopped.
“Sometimes just having something that resembles a parent is better than the actual thing.” He sighed, a slight smile quirking up the corner of his mouth; he reached out, putting a hand gently on Sasori’s shoulder. “Everything is okay…”
Sasori looked at Lee, and eyed the hand for a moment, not sure if he exactly liked the touch. He looked up at Lee. "Eventually..." he said quietly, "I-it might be..."
“It will be. I’ll make sure of it.” Lee took caution at Sasori’s glance, moving his hand back slowly, “Sasori…are you alright?”
Sasori looked to Lee and just shook his head in a quiet 'no' movement. His head was aching, his hand was shaking and it was trying to decide whether or not he wanted to clasp onto Lee's shirt again or onto the sheets. In the end, he decided on the sheets. "I...can't b...believe I have to go through this again..."
Lee rubbed his back, the motion hitching slightly on the sweat-soaked fabric of Sasori’s shirt. “Beloved…I’ll be here through the entire thing. I…I brought a change of clothes. I’m not leaving till you’re through this.”
"L...Lee..." Sasori said, looking at him, almost startled. "I...I don't know how long these last...all...I know is these happen...y-you can't spend that long here..." he shook his head. "You'll miss things...T-the...p-play p-practice and..." he slumped slightly, leaning against Lee again, deciding that he was actually a comforting presence.
“Then I’ll practice in here.” Lee’s tone was strong, “I’ll bring my scrip, I’ll bring food and clothing here. I can spend however long I want here, with the man I love, making sure that he is alright.” Lee drew him close, gently. “I’m not going.”
"T-they're all...going to blame me for you missing..." Sasori said quietly. But he knew, even with his clouded mind, that it would be impossible to try and convince Lee otherwise. "O...okay..." he said quietly. He lay limply against Lee, just taking in the fact that he was being held.
“I’ll tell Neji-kun that I’m taking care of you, love. And I’ll talk to sensei about missing practice…I’m sure that he’ll happily send me blocking and whatnot.” He shifted on the bed, into a position that he could pull Sasori into his lap in.
Sasori looked to Lee with a worried expression, "Y-you can't j...just drop everything for me like that..."
Lee smiled softly, “For someone that I want to spend forever with, I’d drop anything.” He paused, squirming to reach into his pocket, “I was going to give this to you tomorrow…but now seems right.” He pulled out a thin chain, holding it up in front of Sasori’s eyes- a slender silver band dangled off of it. The ring was sure to fit the boy- Lee had an excellent memory, knowing what size to buy from the small size of the other male’s hands. The ring itself was delicate, a Celtic design crisscrossing the top, etched into the silver.
Sasori looked at Lee for a moment. The token in front of his eyes, his eyes caught on the silver ring. His hand shook, gently reaching up to clasp the metal in between his first two fingers, a shaky hand holding onto Lee's shirt. "Lee...I...don't deserve this..."
Lee gave him a slight smile a blush creeping across his face. “I…I want you to be mine. Forever. For the rest of my life and yours- insanity or no insanity, I love you. And you deserve more than that…” Lee looked away, embarrassed to be being so frank with his emotions.
Sasori looked at Lee, seeming a bit confused. It didn't register now, maybe it would later. "Lee...I...I do love you..." he said, "and...I don't want to hurt you...and...I dont want to scare you when I'm like this. O...of course if you don't think....this will bother you..." he said quietly, as honest as he could figure he would be.
I'm going to be staying with Sasori for a while- So I'm going to need some things.
Gai-sensei: Please bring the script that I need by Sasori-kun's room...I need it. I'll find some way to come to rehersal- but if I can't, please take my video camera and tape the blocking for me. Uhmmm...I'll do my BEST to be there. Hell, I WILL be there...I just might miss the first one.
Tenten: Bring food. There's money in my nightstand, Neji-kun knows where it is. Please drop whatever you get by Sasori's room. Thanks~!