Beloved Block
I'm cooking up a sculpture. I want it to be roughly lifesize (maybe a wee bit smaller), made from papier machée to suggest how fragile the subject is, and sitting, slumped forward, as though dejected and crushed past the point of no return.
Obviously, partially a self-portrait, but at the same time I wouldn't be overly-confident of my sculpting abilities to get my face perfectly. If I do, all the better, if not, I'll say it's a combination of a number of people.
I'm thinking of dressing the sculpture when it's done, in the style of a ragged ballerina. I reckon that film, "Wishing Stairs", that I saw this week has influenced this. There's a lot of competing between the ballerinas in the school, wishing and hoping for a break that never comes (or does, but in a more physical than metaphorical way - yeowch ) and there's a scene where a corpse is wrapped in pottery clay and passed off as an actual piece of art - classic!
It's been weeks since I completed anything I've sat down to do. Not out of apathy or procrastination, it's more along the lines of just not having the time. I was offered a position as a supervisor in work, which I leaped at, and I've been seeing Peter in every spare moment. He is every beat of my heart, every breath that fuels my soul, but right now there's some pent-up creativity and anxiety that needs unleashing, and I can't do it fully when he's around, because I alternate my time with him doing either of the following - just loving every minute of his company and enjoying him in general, or else wanting to tear his clothes off with my teeth . Seeing as both tend to distract from my prospective canvases, I'm becoming more and more anxious that I won't get my portfolio finished on time.
I'm also desperately worried that no matter how good my work is, it just won't cut it. How the hell am I going to afford nearly €4000 a year and still feed and clothe myself? How in the hell am I going to cope with returning to an academic environment after two years living without the stress of coursework? Am I going to be able for this course? What if I'm just mediocre and I'm shelling out all this money on something that will take me nowhere?
If truth be told, I'm terrified that I'll fail. I don't think I'll be good enough to impress the college that spawned countless major designers and can boast a past history of students that are mentioned in every other issue of every high fashion glossy.
Jesus Christ help me.
Obviously, partially a self-portrait, but at the same time I wouldn't be overly-confident of my sculpting abilities to get my face perfectly. If I do, all the better, if not, I'll say it's a combination of a number of people.
I'm thinking of dressing the sculpture when it's done, in the style of a ragged ballerina. I reckon that film, "Wishing Stairs", that I saw this week has influenced this. There's a lot of competing between the ballerinas in the school, wishing and hoping for a break that never comes (or does, but in a more physical than metaphorical way - yeowch ) and there's a scene where a corpse is wrapped in pottery clay and passed off as an actual piece of art - classic!
It's been weeks since I completed anything I've sat down to do. Not out of apathy or procrastination, it's more along the lines of just not having the time. I was offered a position as a supervisor in work, which I leaped at, and I've been seeing Peter in every spare moment. He is every beat of my heart, every breath that fuels my soul, but right now there's some pent-up creativity and anxiety that needs unleashing, and I can't do it fully when he's around, because I alternate my time with him doing either of the following - just loving every minute of his company and enjoying him in general, or else wanting to tear his clothes off with my teeth . Seeing as both tend to distract from my prospective canvases, I'm becoming more and more anxious that I won't get my portfolio finished on time.
I'm also desperately worried that no matter how good my work is, it just won't cut it. How the hell am I going to afford nearly €4000 a year and still feed and clothe myself? How in the hell am I going to cope with returning to an academic environment after two years living without the stress of coursework? Am I going to be able for this course? What if I'm just mediocre and I'm shelling out all this money on something that will take me nowhere?
If truth be told, I'm terrified that I'll fail. I don't think I'll be good enough to impress the college that spawned countless major designers and can boast a past history of students that are mentioned in every other issue of every high fashion glossy.
Jesus Christ help me.