I want Martha Stewart to come bake me a SEX PIE

eggs
butter
bread
bagels
cream cheese
milk
cream
coffee
orange juice
peppers
tofu
mushrooms
pasta

fuckfarm 102% mmmidget 95% lethie 91% theheathen 91% stargurl 87% strangegrrl 87% kashiegurl 84% ( Read more... )

THERE IS A LEAK! IN THE HOT WATER PIPE! AND WE NEED A PLUMBER RIGHT NOW!!!! CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS, HOT WATER PIPE??????

go read this. now. no, seriously. all of it. don't be afraid, even if it is like thirty pages. go. now.

Rush, Newspeak and Fascism: An exegesis

also:
"hey, what's your name?"
"dan"
"oh, cool. my name's carol"
"just drop it"
"excuse me?"
"i'm not in the mood for your shit"

Who ever really says, "What we could use around here is more pessimistic sarcasm." And yet, there seems to be an unending supply. It seems there is a problem with the fundamentals of economics. -- Todd Walker

AFTER ALL, IT'S HARD TO ANTHROPOMORPHIZE A CATAPULT

THE TERROR OF OAKVILLE STRIKES AGAIN

NO TEENAGE BOY IS SAFE

i have not so thoroughly enjoyed a concert in ages. man. awesome.

dearest "sobig" virus:

your screensaver is not "wicked". please stop sending forty copies of yourself to me per day.

thank you!
as always,
your faithful friend,
g.