when we'll be together
when we'll be together
junsu/changmin
PG-13
a/n. character death, calmly-insane!changmin, weirdness all around. i don't know that i like how this ended, but it was kinda taking its toll on me ;;
Junsu doesn't come home on the last day of the last month of the last year of Changmin's life. It's not really the last year, but when Changmin picks up the phone and it's Junsu's mom, sobbing and telling Changmin that Junsu got into an accident, it feels like the end, for a while. Then after everything settles, Changmin's mostly numb.
There's a funeral and everyone cries. Changmin cries but he doesn't grieve because grieving means Junsu isn't coming back.
Changmin still has all of Junsu's things, scattered here and there throughout the apartment because Junsu never was very good at being meticulous. He was always too busy beating up fake people on a screen or locked up in the spare room singing thoughts in his head onto paper. Changmin keeps everything the way it is, because when Junsu comes back, he'll pout and whine that Changmin's lost his favorite hat or shirt or the really good controller that he hasn't worn out yet.
Changmin stops wearing in own clothes in favor of Junsu's favorite old hoodie or sweats, still covered with the scent of his body wash that would linger like the sweetest perfume after he showered. Now it's just a memory, keeping Changmin grounded until he can hold Junsu in his arms again and bury his face into Junsu's neck, breathe in, breathe out. Changmin breathes and breathes and it's just not enough.
Changmin's still got Mandoong and he's still got Xiahki, and he talks to them, sometimes. "I always knew he was in love with me," Changmin tells Mandoong as he carefully saves Junsu's game, the one with the highest score yet. "He didn't confess until we went to Paris for the second photobook." Changmin stares wistfully at the screen. He almost wants to play, but Junsu will be upset if he loses the score. He tugs down the sleeves of Junsu's sweater absently. "He kissed me on the balcony and he tasted like chocolate. I hope he brings some home with him."
"We're enemies, you know," he tells Xiahki, the last of the sentence slurred with too much whiskey. "He's probably just playing a huge prank on me, payback for that gag gift I got him for his birthday." He stares at the glass mournfully; it's almost empty. "I wish he'd give it up, already."
Yoochun comes over first. Changmin's curled up on the couch with Junsu's iPod and the song Junsu wrote three months ago. "I'm sorry," Yoochun whispers. There are tears in his eyes, and Changmin can't meet them.
"Why?" Changmin asks, flipping through the music until he finds the first song Junsu ever wrote for an album. "Hey hyung, didn't you help him with this one?"
Yoochun pulls Changmin close and kisses his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Changminah."
"Xiahki, stop pouting, it just makes you look even uglier. Why do I even love you, aish."
When Jaejoong comes over, he brings Yunho. Changmin's cooking Junsu's favorite meal, and he cuts himself when the doorbell rings. Yunho sees the blood on the towel and grabs Changmin's arm tightly, face pale in an instant. "Changminah, what the hell?"
Changmin frowns and uncovers his hand, holding up the wounded finger. "Cut myself while I was cooking."
Yunho releases Changmin's arm, sighing softly. "Oh," he says quietly.
Changmin laughs, realizing what Yunho thought. "Do you really think I'd kill myself, hyung?" he asks as he lets them in, shaking his head.
Jaejoong laughs, a shaky, relieved-sounding thing that matches the edges of Yunho's smile.
"I have to wait for Junsu, you know? Did he ever tell you when he'd be coming back?"
Jaejoong shakes and hides his face into Yunho's chest, and Changmin thinks of Junsu and how he likes to do the same thing, sometimes. Changmin smiles and returns to finish cooking. Junsu could come back tonight and Changmin wouldn't want him to be disappointed.
junsu/changmin
PG-13
a/n. character death, calmly-insane!changmin, weirdness all around. i don't know that i like how this ended, but it was kinda taking its toll on me ;;
Junsu doesn't come home on the last day of the last month of the last year of Changmin's life. It's not really the last year, but when Changmin picks up the phone and it's Junsu's mom, sobbing and telling Changmin that Junsu got into an accident, it feels like the end, for a while. Then after everything settles, Changmin's mostly numb.
There's a funeral and everyone cries. Changmin cries but he doesn't grieve because grieving means Junsu isn't coming back.
Changmin still has all of Junsu's things, scattered here and there throughout the apartment because Junsu never was very good at being meticulous. He was always too busy beating up fake people on a screen or locked up in the spare room singing thoughts in his head onto paper. Changmin keeps everything the way it is, because when Junsu comes back, he'll pout and whine that Changmin's lost his favorite hat or shirt or the really good controller that he hasn't worn out yet.
Changmin stops wearing in own clothes in favor of Junsu's favorite old hoodie or sweats, still covered with the scent of his body wash that would linger like the sweetest perfume after he showered. Now it's just a memory, keeping Changmin grounded until he can hold Junsu in his arms again and bury his face into Junsu's neck, breathe in, breathe out. Changmin breathes and breathes and it's just not enough.
Changmin's still got Mandoong and he's still got Xiahki, and he talks to them, sometimes. "I always knew he was in love with me," Changmin tells Mandoong as he carefully saves Junsu's game, the one with the highest score yet. "He didn't confess until we went to Paris for the second photobook." Changmin stares wistfully at the screen. He almost wants to play, but Junsu will be upset if he loses the score. He tugs down the sleeves of Junsu's sweater absently. "He kissed me on the balcony and he tasted like chocolate. I hope he brings some home with him."
"We're enemies, you know," he tells Xiahki, the last of the sentence slurred with too much whiskey. "He's probably just playing a huge prank on me, payback for that gag gift I got him for his birthday." He stares at the glass mournfully; it's almost empty. "I wish he'd give it up, already."
Yoochun comes over first. Changmin's curled up on the couch with Junsu's iPod and the song Junsu wrote three months ago. "I'm sorry," Yoochun whispers. There are tears in his eyes, and Changmin can't meet them.
"Why?" Changmin asks, flipping through the music until he finds the first song Junsu ever wrote for an album. "Hey hyung, didn't you help him with this one?"
Yoochun pulls Changmin close and kisses his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Changminah."
"Xiahki, stop pouting, it just makes you look even uglier. Why do I even love you, aish."
When Jaejoong comes over, he brings Yunho. Changmin's cooking Junsu's favorite meal, and he cuts himself when the doorbell rings. Yunho sees the blood on the towel and grabs Changmin's arm tightly, face pale in an instant. "Changminah, what the hell?"
Changmin frowns and uncovers his hand, holding up the wounded finger. "Cut myself while I was cooking."
Yunho releases Changmin's arm, sighing softly. "Oh," he says quietly.
Changmin laughs, realizing what Yunho thought. "Do you really think I'd kill myself, hyung?" he asks as he lets them in, shaking his head.
Jaejoong laughs, a shaky, relieved-sounding thing that matches the edges of Yunho's smile.
"I have to wait for Junsu, you know? Did he ever tell you when he'd be coming back?"
Jaejoong shakes and hides his face into Yunho's chest, and Changmin thinks of Junsu and how he likes to do the same thing, sometimes. Changmin smiles and returns to finish cooking. Junsu could come back tonight and Changmin wouldn't want him to be disappointed.