various; beast, mblaq, 2pm, suju
five times beast (almost) never happened
1. You can do this, Dongwoon thinks, pleads, prays. His voice is shaky on the outside, wavering slightly over notes and crescendos. He can see their faces, can see his own disappointment written all over them.
"Dongwoon-sshi, that will be all."
Last chance. "I- can I play the piano? Just, just one more try?"
Here, there is no third time's the charm.
2. "Are you sure about this?" His father says, serious written in the tired lines of his face, eyes drawn down. "This shop, it's. It's all we have, you know this."
Yoseob lets the silence play out like music, lets it sink in so he can make the right choice, the right response, so they know. They need to know this is what he wants to do.
His mother reaches forward and covers his hand with hers. She smiles with her eyes, says everything she doesn't. Yoseob thinks of her in the kitchen, thinks of the two of them working over heat and the noise of people and stress like a rubber band that snaps. He thinks of fights that could, maybe might not happen.
He thinks of that TV set hung in the corner of the ceiling, thinks of them staying late to watch him dance across the screen in flashing lights with screams for music, that same smile on his mother's face.
"I want this," Yoseob says, quiet but firm, smiling back at his mother, then at his father. "I can do this, and I'll make you both proud."
3. Hyunseung slides across the floor and one, two, three, four, fi- he goes down, breathing hard, forehead pressed against cool tile beneath him. He can't do this, he's worthless, not even a pretty face to go with his gangly body. His voice is too weedy, not enough range, not enough vibrato. YG didn't want him, he'll always be sloppy seconds.
He'll never make it.
"Get up," Hyung says, sharp and commanding. "Do it again."
4. AJ was successful, but what about Gikwang? AJ dances better, sings better, looks better. He's suave and when he smiles women scream.
Gikwang's not good with girls and he trips over scales when he's nervous and sometimes his dancing isn't as good as it could be.
Gikwang is as determined as AJ was, though, so he decides to try anyway. Trying never hurt anyone, and if it manages to cut, then he'll bandage it and move on.
5. Doojoon's friends tell him he could go pro, if he wanted. Doojoon sometimes thinks about it seriously, the squeak of sneakers against the floor, the sweat and aches after a hard, good game.
But then he thinks of how singing can ache just as much with the right emotion, how he'll find himself humming something everyday and singing in the shower. He'll think about how life isn't what he wants it to be and how dancing sometimes makes it bearable, just for a little while.
In the end, one wins the championship.
five times doojoon called a band meeting
1. "Okay guys," Doojoon says, sucking a deep, shaky breath, and smiles to cover it. "We made it. We- we are going to go out on that stage in less than five minutes and we are going to rock it, because we made it this far and we are going to go all the way."
Five smiles, five hands join his. "Hwaiting!" Six voices ring out.
2. "Okay, first official band meeting in our new band dorm," Doojoon says, clearing his throat to give it that official feeling. "We need to get some rules laid out, so we don't end up being late because someone took too long in the shower and stuff."
"Okay, Parcheesi time!" Junhyung says loudly.
3. "Guys," Doojoon says, slapping his hand over the checkerboard. "We really need to do the rules now."
"Hyung, you messed up my checkers!" Yoseob says, batting at Doojoon's hand. "I was winning!"
"Guys, guys," Dongwoon says, rushing into the room, holding the big whiteboard that's supposed to be for their schedule. "Let's play Charades, only we have to draw instead of act. 'Cause we all know Hyunseung-hyung can't act."
Hyunseung protests loudly, Gikwang takes advantage of the distraction and beats Yoseob, causing Yoseob to start shouting that Gikwang cheated, and Junhyung simultaneously tries to get Hyunseung to stop shrieking and tell Dongwoon he's down for Charades.
Doojoon calls their manager back. "Yeah, I'll do the Africa thing."
4. "Is speakerphone on?" Doojoon asks, fending off a lone mosquito that managed to make it through his nets. Junhyung assures him it is. "Okay, then have you guys made the rules yet? I think we should have ten minu-"
"Dongwoon lost my sunglasses," Junhyung says, sounding somewhat petulant. "You know, the really cool ones I got before debut?"
Doojoon sighs, then yelps as the mosquito bites his neck. "We have been in the dorm for almost a month now and we still haven't made any rules!"
"Guys, Doojoon wants rules, now."
"He's not allowed to leave us ever again, how's that for a rule!" Yoseob shouts, "It's really fucking hard singing two parts, hyung!"
"It's true," Gikwang says, sounding close. Junhyung must have given up the phone. "Do you know, I think he almost stopped smiling at one point."
There's a muffled thud-like sound, then a clatter. "Fuck off, Gikwang!" and "Guys, where's the phone?" filter in from the other line. Doojoon sighs again and hangs up, grabbing his mosquito repellent so he can finally get that fucking mosquito.
5. "Okay," Doojoon says, hands on his hips and a firm glare aimed at everyone in the room. "Rule number one, when I call a meeting there will be no games played until everything is said, done, and done again, just in case. Rule number two, the whiteboard is only used for schedules, but little scribbles on the side are okay. Rule number three, stop saying Hyunseung can't act even though he really can't. Rule number four, stop stealing Junhyung's sunglasses. Rule number five, stop making fun of Yoseob for being so fucking happy all the time. Got it?"
There's a pause, then a chorus of various affirmative responses. "Good," Doojoon says, and sits down in what he has dubbed his Leader Chair. "Anyone got a rule they'd like to add?"
Yoseob's hand shoots up. "You're never allowed to go away like that again," he says, frowning hard.
"Yeah," Junhyung says, followed by murmured agreement from the others.
"We missed you," Hyunseung mumbles.
Doojoon thinks the various itchy, red, annoying bites on his torso were suddenly worth it. "Duly noted."
five times yoseob and dongwoon ate together at midnight
1. The night before their debut stage, Dongwoon can't sleep, his body too wired to let sleep in. He keeps his gaze on the clock, the bright red numbers burning his retinas until he's seeing them in negative when he shuts his eyes.
He gives up then, when the numbers re-arrange, five minutes away from the actual day. Dongwoon'll only get five hours of sleep if he can fall asleep later, maybe four. It probably won't matter either way, not with the way his muscles are jumping in excitement beneath his skin.
Someone beats him in getting out of bed, however, and Dongwoon squints against the darkness to make out who it is. There's a tiny thump and a muttered, "Shit," in a familiar voice, and Dongwoon smiles. Yoseob doesn't seem to notice he's not the only one awake and keeps stumbling towards the door.
Dongwoon waits until Yoseob's out of the room to get up, not wanting to scare his hyung, as tempting as the idea is. He makes sure to shuffle a little noisily as he makes his way towards the kitchen.
"What are you doing up?" Yoseob greets him, stopping midway through putting up the leftovers. He wiggles the container. "Do you want some too?"
Dongwoon nods, sliding into a seat at the small table. "Why are you up?" he replies, grinning.
Yoseob tsks, grabbing a bowl. "We really shouldn't be eating this late," he says, even as he gives Dongwoon a healthy serving. "Nervous?"
Dongwoon leans forward, chin in his hands. "No, of course not," he deadpans, stealing a small bite from his bowl. He adds, a beat later, a little subdued, "Do you think we'll do alright?"
Yoseob puts both of the bowls in the microwave, the beeps sounding a little louder than usual in the dead silence of the dorm. He turns, a smile on his face that's nothing like fake. It's soft and small, yet lights up the entire room. "We'll be amazing."
And Dongwoon smiles back, believes him.
2. "Here again?"
Dongwoon laughs, shrugging. "Heard you get up, so I thought you'd like the company, hyung." He turns halfway. "I can just go back to be-"
"No, no, staaaay," Yoseob says, tugging on Dongwoon's wrist, leading him to the table. "I don't mean to be an insomniac, but the least you could do for your hyung is be one with him."
And here Dongwoon thought he was supposed to be the cute one. The youngest usually were, after all. Sighing, he plops down and watches Yoseob go back to his ramen. "Share with me, though?"
"Of course," Yoseob says, flashing Dongwoon a grin over his shoulder.
Dongwoon smiles and rests his head on his arm, content to simply stay here forever, watching Yoseob make noodles and hum under his breath. Insomnia is really underrated, he thinks.
3. "You know," Yoseob says thoughtfully, "This is starting to become almost a ritual for us."
Dongwoon bites the line of noodles hanging from his lips and pulls back from his bowl to chew and swallow. Yoseob laughs and leans forward, thumbing away juice that's making its way down Dongwoon's chin. Dongwoon ignores how the action makes his heart stutter. "I like eating with you, hyung. Even if it's when we should, uh, be sleeping," he says, wiping at his chin with his napkin. His cheeks feel kinda hot.
Yoseob hums through a smile, his cheeks dimpling. Dongwoon looks down and starts on his noodles again, fervently hoping he's hiding his cheeks well. Maybe he should try sleeping one of these nights.
4. One night they're joined by Gikwang, so instead of quiet contentment it's crazy smiles and dancing to Gee, until the rest of the band wakes up too. Doojoon pretends he's mad but at the full force of both Yoseob's and Gikwang's cute smiles and pleading eyes, there's no way anyone could stay angry for long.
Dongwoon, as happy as all of his bandmates make him, maybe wishes it could have been the same old, same old, with Yoseob silly grinning face across the table, only for him.
5. "Hey," Yoseob whispers, poking Dongwoon's cheek repeatedly until he opens his eyes. "Come eat with me, I made too much."
Dongwoon groans, stretching, and looks at the clock. "Hyung, you're awful," he says, wincing when it comes out as more of a whine.
Yoseob gives him a pout, and well, how is Dongwoon supposed to resist that? "Come on, come on. You know you want to, I made your favorite, even."
Dongwoon's stomach decides to be unhelpful and gives a loud rumble, so he just gives in and shifts out of bed. Yoseob's fingers are warm around Dongwoon's wrist, sliding down until they're tangled in Dongwoon's.
"Something on your mind?" Yoseob asks, when Dongwoon fails to say anything for a good ten minutes or so.
He shrugs, smiling. "Just don't have anything to say, hyung."
Yoseob picks at his noodles. "If it's because you're tired, I'm sorry I woke you." He brings his bowl to his lips and sips the juice; Dongwoon tries not to stare. "You can go back to bed if you want."
Dongwoon shakes his head, reaches across the table and dabs at Yoseob's chin. "It's okay," he says, smearing juice across Yoseob's cheek with a laugh.
Yoseob splutters, batting his hand away. "Brat," he says, but he's laughing, too.
"Hyung," Dongwoon says, tapping his chopsticks against his bowl, restless, "Can we make this an actual ritual? I... I don't think I'd mind eating with you every night like this."
Yoseob grins, blindingly bright and Dongwoon can't help but smile back as his heart tries to beat its way out of his chest. "Sure," Yoseob says, flicking ramen juice at Dongwoon's face. "Can do, Dongwoonah."
five times mir was inappropriate and one time he was serious
1. "Hyung," Cheolyong says, grinning brighter than the sun that's peeking through the blinds. Joon swipes at him half-heartedly, far too interested in sleeping to give it more than that. "Hyuuuuung."
"What," Joon says on the end of a sigh, hugging his pillow tighter. "God, you're too fucking happy in the mornings."
"So're you," Cheolyong says, a hint of sly amusement creeping into his voice.
Joon frowns, rolling over. "What?" he repeats, rubbing at his eyes. He yawns, stretches with a lazy groan.
Cheolyong pokes Joon's hip. "Look down, hyung."
Joon does. Apparently, he is very happy, indeed.
2. "What is it like in the mornings for Mblaq?" the interviewer asks, smiling politely.
"We're very happy," Cheolyong says after he snatches the mic from Seungho, who allows it because, well, it's Cheolyong. "Joon-hyung is the happiest, he always wakes up with-"
Joon manages to wrangle the mic from Cheolyong with much pinching and tickling amidst Seungho's yell of "WE'RE RECORDING," and Cheolyong's "I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, HYUNG!"
They re-do the interview with a different question.
3. It's not that Joon doesn't like Cheolyong - he actually favors him, sometimes, when Cheolyong's not being cheeky and stupid and just plain annoying. Cheolyong's got a cute face, especially when he's concentrating, tongue peeking from the corner of his mouth. In fact, if Cheolyong were a girl, Joon's sure he'd be all over that. As it is, Cheolyong's not a girl, which just leaves Joon feeling confused and more than a little angry that 1) Cheolyong is not a girl, and 2) Joon kind of, maybe likes a guy.
"Hyung, are you just going to stand there or are you going to finish anytime soon?"
Joon drops his toothbrush in surprise, then curses because he was thinking of Cheolyong and there Cheolyong is and so his body feels that this requires his cheeks to turn pink and hot. "I'm going to stay here all night," he says flatly, feeling vengeful.
Cheolyong stares at him thoughtfully. "Well, okay, then." And then he steals Joon's toothbrush and sticks it in his mouth.
4. "You like him," Byeonghee says, like he's just told Joon the sky is blue and the grass is green.
And Joon, instead of denying it, which is what any ordinary person would have done, says, "Shut up!"
There's a beat of silence, where Joon thinks, well, fuck, and Byeonghee raises an eyebrow like he was expecting a denial, as well. "Huh," Byeonghee finally says, "That was easier than I thought it'd be."
"Look, keep it to yourself, okay? I don't need the whole group knowing about my stupid infatuation with the baby."
"Oh," says a muffled voice on the other side of the door. It sound suspiciously like-
"Go away, Cheolyongah," Byeonghee says calmly, like it's not, you know, the baby listening in on Joon as he confesses feelings for said baby.
"Okay," Cheolyong says, sounding miffed and happy at the same time.
"Well, fuck," Joon says. Byeonghee just laughs.
5. "Hyung," Cheolyong says in what he thinks to be a late-night whisper, but is actually not.
"Be quiet," Joon says, still upset about earlier. Any other time he might've invited Cheolyong over to his bed, but that's definitely not happening tonight.
"Hyung!"
"Cheolyong, go to sleep," Joon hisses, rolling over. He comes face to face with Cheolyong, a frown on his normally smiling face. "What the fuck, Cheolyong, get back in bed."
Cheolyong fiddles with Joon's sheets. "I need to talk to you." Joon glares, Cheolyong frowns harder. "Please?"
Joon sighs, turning his glare to the ceiling. He supposes he might as well get it over with, the hyung, I really like you and look up to you but only as that - a hyung, because two guys liking each other is kind of gross, but I still love you, okay? talk, and be done with it. "Fine." He lifts his blankets and Cheolyong slips inside, curling close, warm and actually kind of nice. Joon tries not to think about how good Cheolyong's hair smells.
"Hyung," Cheolyong says, sounding hesitant.
"It's okay," Joon says tiredly, running fingers through Cheolyong's hair. "You don't have to say it, I know."
Cheolyong brightens a little. "Oh, you do?"
Joon forces a soft smile. "Yeah, don't worry about it. We're cool."
"Oh, great." Cheolyong looks thrilled, and then the next thing Joon knows, there's warm lips pressing lightly against his, a little over-wet because Cheolyong had licked them right before- oh, there's Cheolyong's tongue and Joon figures maybe now would be a good time to kiss back.
"You're happy again, hyung," Cheolyong says somewhere between the third and fourth kiss, voice low and hands even lower. "Want me to make you happier?"
Cheeky little brat, Joon thinks, and says, "Oh fuck."
five things nichkhun loves about wooyoung
1. The first thing Nichkhun notices when he meets Wooyoung are his cheeks. They're chubby, remind Nichkhun of children running around playgrounds, thumb in mouth. When Wooyoung smiles, they suit him, fit him like a glove or the way Nichkhun would imagine a lover to. Soft and warm and you never want to stop touching them.
2. Nichkhun has a thing for the way people laugh. You can tell a lot by the sound and shape of laughter, if it's real and full or short and forced.
Wooyoung's laughter is a little bit of both, and Nichkhun's always loved a challenge.
3. Wooyoung's eyes are nothing special. They crinkle when he laughs or smiles and sometimes they're dark and ocean-deep, and when he sleeps they curve with his lashes.
When Wooyoung cries they become something else entirely, red-rimmed and imperfectly perfect. Nichkhun wants to do nothing else but wipe them clean again, see them crinkle and let him in to drown.
4. Wooyoung, Nichkhun notices as time goes by, is a very passionate person. It's not something that's outwardly shown, because Wooyoung's a lot like Nichkhun in that he tends to keep everything inside, but Nichkhun's always been good at reading people. He skims the extravagant bits and looks between the lines at the person underneath. It's fair to say, after all this time and after everything they've all been through as a group, Nichkhun might be a little in love with Wooyoung.
5. Wooyoung isn't in love with Nichkhun. In the end, Nichkhun thinks that's probably for the best.
five times henry wanted to give up
1. "No, no, Henry, you've mispronounced again," his tutor says gently, with a tinge of exasperation hidden in her eyes, "Remember, it's not quite as hard in Korean as it is in English."
Henry glances down at his practice paper, filled with a language he doesn't understand and wonders if he ever will. "Yes, ma'am," he says, trying not to feel his hope flying out the window when she answers, "In Korean, Henry-sshi."
2. The recording studio is different than anything he's ever been in. His fingers are tight around his violin, knuckles white, vibrating with nerves. "Okay, Henry-sshi, please do your best."
Henry takes a deep breath and remembers home games and the smiles of his friends when he'd learn a new song, reminds himself this shouldn't be any different.
His first note goes sour because he can't stop shaking.
3. The sound is deafening even from backstage. The screams are a mix of happiness and rage and Henry can feel something in the back of his throat - it might be his heart. He swallows hard, keeps swallowing everything down until he steps on stage. Those words cut through his solo, clear and sharp like a knife. Henry's heart flutters brokenly, but he keeps playing anyway.
4. They all tell him he was great, forced smiles and claps on the back. Henry smiles back because he was taught manners.
5. Henry's had a few crushes here and there, but they never lasted long. He's not one to pine after someone, whether he can have them or not - it's just a waste of time that could be spent practicing or having a better time than that.
Siwon's different. He's so kind and gentle, and he's never made Henry feel out of place. The skinship is probably one of the reasons it's harder here, Siwon's hands are always somewhere on him. Part of it is actually just Siwon, being touchy and friendly, and Henry finds it both unnerving and exhilarating.
But it'll never go much farther than that, no matter how fast Henry's heart beats with every slide of Siwon's hand across his back, every smile Siwon gives him, sleepy-shy in the mornings or bright-happy during filming their latest promotional event.
Siwon's got Hangeng, after all.