violet fingerprints over bleeding youth (1/10)
part 1
krystal/seulgi/wonwoo/mingyu
angst, friendship
1527w
1.
At the age of ten, Soojung had spoken of the first lie that she would be able to live forever, until she grew up and learnt that forever was a mere wistful thinking humans pondered when they were at their happiest state.
Her happiest state that day was because her mother and father, for that one day, didn't shout or fight or smash their feelings towards each other. One of the rarest days in her life.
She had sprouted from her seat and bolted it to everyone’s mind in front of the whole class when they were asked what they wished upon a star. The teacher smiled and held back her chuckle but the kids bursted out laughing in mockery, aware even at such a young age that death was a very expectant thing to have in their lives.
Soojung smiled to the world despite making the fool out of her dream, tears rising to her eyes and it fell when she excused herself that her bladder couldn’t hold her nervousness any longer.
Everyone, except Seulgi.
“It’s okay to dream, Soojung. My mother said that if you wish for it hard enough, it will come true,” Seulgi tugged on her sleeves as she walked behind her, quietly mumbling it as she looked up bashfully, from her brown hair braided like the young Tiger Lily. Just that it wasn’t messy and all the strands of her hair were collected into one place.
Soojung smiled to her, her hair flailing over the wind blowing to her dark locks, as dark as the sky that was going to scrape and tatter all colours from its body and painted it black. It took only those two sentence for Soojung to know that Seulgi would be her most favourite person in the world, and she was going to stay by her side for so long.
Soojung was often left behind of her brightly lit coloured friends. She was a misfit in a bunch groups of people, too many things mixed inside her that it could not fit any classification. Therefore, there had always been the two of them to go to places; Soojung and Seulgi, Seulgi and Soojung. They were enough for each other.
She thought that they belonged together because Seulgi was like her too; too many possibilities in her people felt overwhelmed.
Seulgi thought otherwise.
For her, she was monochrome; a variation of dark colours of black and white in different shades of contrast and light. That was the reason they could stick to each other; Soojung filled Seulgi with colours as Seulgi contained the possibilities that were spilling out of Soojung, like the golden pot by the end of every rainbow.
You could find them in the meadow collecting dandelions and all wildflowers that grown out of random spots, near riverbanks and laying on the grass coverlet of Earth.
You would find them floating in swimming pools in their t-shirts and shorts, trying out new sorts of beautiful swimming forms they looked up on the internet and in this case, Seulgi was a fast learner and a very dilligent one.
Soojung may outdo her in speed, but Seulgi took her time in learning all the details in each movements. She knew well enough that as fast as Soojung would swim, she would never leave her alone. By the age of twelve, Seulgi had trusted Soojung enough that she wouldn’t stab her in the back when she wasn’t looking.
It was a pretty big trust she gave to her, because Seulgi had always been the type to be cautious around people so much. That was why she thought she was monochrome, she always held herself back, making those possibilities blocked by fear.
Seulgi glimmered beneath the sun, with everyone’s eyes glided through her small and lithe body like snake as she dove in within those moments of colourful flipflops and wet clothes, sparkling blue water reflecting the sky at three pm in a public swimming pool. People continued spinning their lives around without any meaning to stop, even though that was all they wished for.
Parents removed their restrictions from responsibilities, from dull coloured ties bounding them by the neck, shirt buttons holding in their freedom as they swam, guarding and teaching their children to swim and stay afloat as their feet were so short and couldn’t reach the white tile grounds where some marks from history were left; of buildings destroyed to their bones just so this swimming pool could exist and spare these people some mercy of having to spend cash in giving their children some little happiness amidst their holidays.
Soojung and Seulgi laughed through it all; they laughed through parents trying to keep their groups of children together, girls older by them by a few years too scared to touch the boiling water and chose to rest under the canopy of dull coloured umbrellas in their floral patterned bikinis she saw in her mother’s old magazines. She never saw her bought any of it again.
Some other young boys around their age laughed with them too, but all for their own childish reasons. The two girls didn’t bat an eyelid to them. They were laughing at one of their friends pushing one of them off the side of the pool, or one of them pulling the other by the boxers, chased by the poor boy’s hand pulling it up before it fell and they chased one and another, half-slipping and one infuriated, one thrilled. Still, Soojung was laughing as she had beaten Seulgi again in the case of speed and she rose from the water first, holding out her hand for her frowning friend.
“You never wait for me,” she squeezed the water out of her braids and sat beside her, water dripping from her braids as her legs are dipped into the water once again, dangling inside it.
“I’m waiting for you to win over me, that’s why,” she grinned, damped black hair over her sunburnt skin, making Seulgi pulled on her cheeks harshly. “Ouch, that hurts!”
“I know,” she smirked mischievieously, making Soojung splashed water over her face, and it became a splashing fight for them both. Soojung jumped in first swiftly to avoid her, but Seulgi stood back.
“Let’s go home. I want to buy some ice cream on my way home!” Her wet hands uselessly rubbed on her face to dry it and Soojung quickly swam back to her, reaching out her hand for help.
“Help me, Seulgi.”
“I know you can go out on your own,” she was still crouching over her, elbows resting on her knees.
Soojung frowned under the brightly lit sky, eyes squinted and creases formed on her forehead, but it wasn’t because of that. “I still want you to help me.”
Seulgi shook her head and pulled her straight out of the water without hesitance, making her stood in her toes.
She learned that even though Seulgi was her friend, it was required for her to receive a sign if someone needs her, if she needs her.
Seulgi had always been the kind of person who needed people to show their need of her existence above the lines. Their feelings were never real if it didn’t come out of their lips, she always thought.
They sat shoulder to shoulder waiting their clothes to dry under the sun, under young boys laughter seemingly endless to their ears, parents staring at them and questioning the whereabouts of their parents silently, and girls few years older by them flinched by looking at how their clothes clung and stuck to their bony form like a second skin.
Soojung guffawed merrily. This time, she bursted the bubbles of their silence as Seulgi had her head angled to look over the curly thick bushes of leaves over trees with dark trunks way past them.
It was her, seeing the boys across of them tackling one and another until they fell into the water. One of them heard the magic in her voice and stopped to take a look. She was still laughing and asking Seulgi to join with her, but she only looked past the swimming pool to the nature beyond this grounds.
She suddenly wanted to jump off this place again, but she held herself back. That was why Seulgi would always be monochrome. She held herself back from suffering and feeling herself through happiness.
She stood up, looking at both of their clothes, half dried. “Let’s go.”
Soojung stopped her laugh and got up with her also, running her hands through her sticky damp hair. “Okay.”
They didn’t get ice cream on their way home because halfway, Seulgi felt so cold and perhaps, it was time to let their parents know that they weren’t studying in each other’s houses.
Perhaps.
They sat by the park, waiting for their clothes to completely dry off and separated mid-way, returning to each properties that didn't feel like home.
(Until the end of time, their mothers never know of their little adventures to the swimming pool. They were too drained from life to care that their lovely daughters had strayed even further from the swimming pool itself.)