violet fingerprints over bleeding youth (8/10)
part 8
krystal/seulgi/wonwoo/mingyu
angst, friendship
8.
“What the hell were you doing, Wonwoo?” Mingyu asked in frustration after he stomped into the boys’ locker room, already empty with only Wonwoo himself as he slammed his locker closer.
Wonwoo raised up his hands in surrender. “Wait, what are you talking about? I just won! Where’s my hug and Seulgi and Soojung are outside right? Did she notice that shoot I did for her?”
It had been a while since Wonwoo was caught to have feelings for Seulgi after countless denials from his mouth, but his actions spoke louder than everything. Mingyu saw him smiling in a different kind of way with Seulgi and despite seemingly creepy and odd, he caught him sitting down beside her early morning and watching her sleep.
Wonwoo never went early to school. It always took him to wake him up by calling Wonwoo via phone. He was walking in the hallways past his class when he saw it. A couple of times he caught him holding back his hand from holding on to her limp ones while she was asleep.
“Yeah, I like her, so what?”
“Man up and confess then!”
“It’s not the right time.”
“When is the right time?”
“I don’t know jeez, but for sure I like her! So you have to help me give her the signals!”
His signals didn’t do any good as Seulgi seemed to shrug it off casually. All the four of them have grown closer, and Wonwoo could even sling his arm around Seulgi without her nudging him on the side and she could even hug him out of nowhere, making Wonwoo seemed to want to burst out of his mind when his eyes met Mingyu's. She seemed to do everything that she had done to Soojung, and that meant Wonwoo wasn’t heading to the goal he wished for.
“I think she’s mad at you.”
Wonwoo scrunched his eyebrows, continuing to button his uniform up. “Who?”’
“Seulgi. She left with Soojung-”
“What?! Wait, why? Didn’t you tell her about that shoot? You’re lying to me right? Where is she? I need to explain myself to her,” Mingyu held his shoulders back as he was going to push through past him, his eyes were probably on Seulgi’s fluttering brown locks.
“Dress up first,” Mingyu fixed on his collar and pointed to the remaining three buttons that were unlatched. “But you won’t be able to catch her, anyway. She walked away so fast. You were hugging Sana and Seulgi thought she was your girlfriend or something,” he looked pitifully at his friend’s face contorting from wonder to grim.
“She’s not, she’s not, she’s not. Didn’t any of you see that I pushed her off?” Wonwoo defended himself as he hastily buttoned his shirt, rushing it off.
“I saw it, but she didn’t,” Mingyu rubbed his chin thoughtfully and sat on the bench in front of the red lockers, Wonwoo following him in doing so. “And she didn’t believe that shoot was for her. She thought that it was for me then concluded it was for Sana after she saw the two of you hugging.”
“Shit, shit, shit, shit-” Wonwoo hissed, pulling on the edges of his hair. Then he stopped, and slowly turned to him.
“I’m doing it.”
“Do what?”
“I’m gonna tell her I like her.”
Mingyu didn’t feel relieved for his friend, for his decision. “Do you really like her?”
His face dropped. “You still don’t believe it? Is it so hard to believe that I am capable of liking someone?”
He shook his head at his rising voice. No. It’s not because of that. “You’re friends with her, man. Is this friendship you have worth sacrificing for something you’re not sure of? If you end up breaking her, I don’t think the four of us will be the same as before.”
Wonwoo cackled, but something inside of him had dropped farther than his hand could reach. “You’re talking as if Seulgi will definitely accept me.”
“Don’t be so pessimistic, Wonwoo,” Mingyu put his hand on his bestfriend’s shoulder, giving it an assuring squeeze.
He sighed, head falling over to his head. “This might sound cheesy for you, but I really, really, really like her. Like, you know, whenever I was around her, I just felt so comfortable and….home” and I don't feel lonely, she distracted me from my empty house and it felt so soothing when she laughed.
Mingyu knew how that felt like. He chose to keep it for himself. His friend was definitely in a dilemma. He wouldn’t be able to do anything with whatever was happening between him and Soojung, if he was to know anyway.
Æ
“Seulgi, why are you ignoring me the whole day? His legs cut through the meadow of flowers as he followed Seulgi. Mingyu and Soojung chose to stay back in their usual spot to give them some space.
“You should have told me that you have a girlfriend.”
He sighed. “She’s not my girlfriend, okay?” He kept going as Seulgi didn’t stop. The sky was so dark, it was possible rain was going to run them over.
She stopped, everything of her swayed and fluttered along the wind, from her skirt that reached below her knees and her crumpled shirt and her brown hair that wasn’t tied into a ponytail. “Okay.”
“Just okay?”
“What did you want me to say, then?” She turned to him slightly and he grinned, knowing full well that she no longer ignored him.
“I like you.”
“I like you, too,” she replied serenely, but it was too calm of an answer Wonwoo felt himself panicking, fumbling with the untucked hem of his shirt. “So random to say though. Of course I like you, why would I become friends with you if I don’t?”
“No, Seulgi. That’s not what I meant,” his voice sounded desperate and it didn’t sound like him. Now, he caught up to her and walked to face her puzzled face.
This is it. No longer hiding, no longer giving her useless signals.
She was startled when he put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes, looking so serious and honest.
“I like you,” he said once and she didn’t believe it, his voice was cracking and she had never seen him so scared like this.
“I like you,” the second time and he gained his composure and made sure that she was really seeing it in his eyes, that he really liked her but Seulgi was scared now instead of him, even though she masked it well.
“I like you, Seulgi,” it seemed that he knew she was lost somewhere and he brought her back by saying that word again. She was so silent and not responding him. “More than friends, more than what you think I am feeling for you, more than what you think of us.”
Seulgi wanted to learn.
She cared so much about this boy who often got himself tangled in useless fights after how many times she got angry for him, all for such senseless reasons and laughing it off as if him getting hurt didn’t matter, this boy who bandaged her fingers when she was unaware of it and this boy with his disheveled hair and sharp, sharp eyes who’d hold her fingers sometimes when she was asleep. She could recognize his hurried steps that would fall to tiptoes into their class, then she could feel the change of air when he brushed past her and took a seat beside her which wasn’t even his seat and she could feel his cracked fingertips from practicing basketball landed and traced her palm.
She was awake, all that time. Ever since she knew that Wonwoo bandaged her scars, she stopped sleeping and chose to be awake.
Wonwoo, the boy whose parents were unaware that such a beautiful son like him existed inside their empty house, a boy neglected that they didn’t even take his report card in seventh grade.
But all the more, Seulgi was monochrome and every second all she thought was death and how painful it was for her mother dealing with it. Her mother no longer ate in the same manner, she stopped laughing in that high pitched tinkling ways and she still smiled so she could let Seulgi know that she was fine, even when she was far from it.
She was afraid of death despite how young she was and how death shouldn’t have stayed inside of her mind.
But all she feared beside death, for Seulgi, was to be abandoned. Wonwoo was a boy and he was fickle-minded. She saw it, despite how honest and straight forward he was, he was fickle for all the hesitance he carried inside of his pocket.
Let it be yes, let it be yes, let it be yes, I like you too, please.
“Whatever feelings you have for me, it’s going to pass,” she shook her head sadly, even though it was his heart who was slowly breaking for she didn’t get irritated, or disgusted, or confused by his feelings. She was just sad. “I’m saving you. I’m saving you from breaking anything between us. I know you’ll get tired of me someday. We’re better this way.”
His heart was slammed and the rain poured over him, trying to wash their pain away. She was aware, eyes wide opened and lips parted while breaking his glass of a heart.
“Is that a no?” His deep voice dropped like his voice, his eyes were still holding for any hope.
“What kind of answer do you want?” Seulgi held her tears back for the boy who was strong and seemingly ready to break in front of her.
I want you to say yes and that I won’t get tired of you I may be young but I know not a lot of people needed me but you always make me feel needed.
Seulgi made him feel needed with her small actions of asking and making sure all of them were presented, and even though she did it also to Mingyu, it touched his butterfly of a heart and how she’d frown whenever he wasn’t around or missing for his basketball practice.
Clenched fists, feelings bleeding out of his cracked heart, he held his tears back from falling. “I know what’s your answer,” he looked down as he felt tears beginning to rise and stung his eyes, the rain was so, so cruel for them. Why did he need to fall for such a complicated girl? Wasn’t his feelings enough for her? Her face was drawn with a no even when her heart was screaming on top of her lungs that she liked him too.
“I will still like you. I don’t care, I don’t want to hear your answer.”
Seulgi hugged him, drenched and skins pressing to each other whispering, “I’m sorry, Wonwoo. I’m sorry, I’m saving you from any kind of destruction between us, I’m sorry.”
“I hate you, Seulgi. I hate you, I hate you. You’re hurting me instead!” Wonwoo choked on his tears and his palm covered his face and his trembling and cracking voice seethed through the rain.
The rain washed and poured salted water to their opened wounds.
Seulgi only held on tighter and tighter. Wonwoo felt his knees unbuckling and letting go.
This hurt even more than all the bruises and punches he got, this hurt with a greater amount of pain more than anything. He felt so suffocated, lacking of oxygen even when Seulgi kept him standing. Seulgi buried and trembled as she pulled him so close to him. He couldn't hear the sound of her cries as it was all muffled by the rain and the fast pounding of his heart.
{Wonwoo never hated Seulgi even for breaking his heart that day. Never. Not a second did he move on from her.)
krystal/seulgi/wonwoo/mingyu
angst, friendship
8.
“What the hell were you doing, Wonwoo?” Mingyu asked in frustration after he stomped into the boys’ locker room, already empty with only Wonwoo himself as he slammed his locker closer.
Wonwoo raised up his hands in surrender. “Wait, what are you talking about? I just won! Where’s my hug and Seulgi and Soojung are outside right? Did she notice that shoot I did for her?”
It had been a while since Wonwoo was caught to have feelings for Seulgi after countless denials from his mouth, but his actions spoke louder than everything. Mingyu saw him smiling in a different kind of way with Seulgi and despite seemingly creepy and odd, he caught him sitting down beside her early morning and watching her sleep.
Wonwoo never went early to school. It always took him to wake him up by calling Wonwoo via phone. He was walking in the hallways past his class when he saw it. A couple of times he caught him holding back his hand from holding on to her limp ones while she was asleep.
“Yeah, I like her, so what?”
“Man up and confess then!”
“It’s not the right time.”
“When is the right time?”
“I don’t know jeez, but for sure I like her! So you have to help me give her the signals!”
His signals didn’t do any good as Seulgi seemed to shrug it off casually. All the four of them have grown closer, and Wonwoo could even sling his arm around Seulgi without her nudging him on the side and she could even hug him out of nowhere, making Wonwoo seemed to want to burst out of his mind when his eyes met Mingyu's. She seemed to do everything that she had done to Soojung, and that meant Wonwoo wasn’t heading to the goal he wished for.
“I think she’s mad at you.”
Wonwoo scrunched his eyebrows, continuing to button his uniform up. “Who?”’
“Seulgi. She left with Soojung-”
“What?! Wait, why? Didn’t you tell her about that shoot? You’re lying to me right? Where is she? I need to explain myself to her,” Mingyu held his shoulders back as he was going to push through past him, his eyes were probably on Seulgi’s fluttering brown locks.
“Dress up first,” Mingyu fixed on his collar and pointed to the remaining three buttons that were unlatched. “But you won’t be able to catch her, anyway. She walked away so fast. You were hugging Sana and Seulgi thought she was your girlfriend or something,” he looked pitifully at his friend’s face contorting from wonder to grim.
“She’s not, she’s not, she’s not. Didn’t any of you see that I pushed her off?” Wonwoo defended himself as he hastily buttoned his shirt, rushing it off.
“I saw it, but she didn’t,” Mingyu rubbed his chin thoughtfully and sat on the bench in front of the red lockers, Wonwoo following him in doing so. “And she didn’t believe that shoot was for her. She thought that it was for me then concluded it was for Sana after she saw the two of you hugging.”
“Shit, shit, shit, shit-” Wonwoo hissed, pulling on the edges of his hair. Then he stopped, and slowly turned to him.
“I’m doing it.”
“Do what?”
“I’m gonna tell her I like her.”
Mingyu didn’t feel relieved for his friend, for his decision. “Do you really like her?”
His face dropped. “You still don’t believe it? Is it so hard to believe that I am capable of liking someone?”
He shook his head at his rising voice. No. It’s not because of that. “You’re friends with her, man. Is this friendship you have worth sacrificing for something you’re not sure of? If you end up breaking her, I don’t think the four of us will be the same as before.”
Wonwoo cackled, but something inside of him had dropped farther than his hand could reach. “You’re talking as if Seulgi will definitely accept me.”
“Don’t be so pessimistic, Wonwoo,” Mingyu put his hand on his bestfriend’s shoulder, giving it an assuring squeeze.
He sighed, head falling over to his head. “This might sound cheesy for you, but I really, really, really like her. Like, you know, whenever I was around her, I just felt so comfortable and….home” and I don't feel lonely, she distracted me from my empty house and it felt so soothing when she laughed.
Mingyu knew how that felt like. He chose to keep it for himself. His friend was definitely in a dilemma. He wouldn’t be able to do anything with whatever was happening between him and Soojung, if he was to know anyway.
Æ
“Seulgi, why are you ignoring me the whole day? His legs cut through the meadow of flowers as he followed Seulgi. Mingyu and Soojung chose to stay back in their usual spot to give them some space.
“You should have told me that you have a girlfriend.”
He sighed. “She’s not my girlfriend, okay?” He kept going as Seulgi didn’t stop. The sky was so dark, it was possible rain was going to run them over.
She stopped, everything of her swayed and fluttered along the wind, from her skirt that reached below her knees and her crumpled shirt and her brown hair that wasn’t tied into a ponytail. “Okay.”
“Just okay?”
“What did you want me to say, then?” She turned to him slightly and he grinned, knowing full well that she no longer ignored him.
“I like you.”
“I like you, too,” she replied serenely, but it was too calm of an answer Wonwoo felt himself panicking, fumbling with the untucked hem of his shirt. “So random to say though. Of course I like you, why would I become friends with you if I don’t?”
“No, Seulgi. That’s not what I meant,” his voice sounded desperate and it didn’t sound like him. Now, he caught up to her and walked to face her puzzled face.
This is it. No longer hiding, no longer giving her useless signals.
She was startled when he put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes, looking so serious and honest.
“I like you,” he said once and she didn’t believe it, his voice was cracking and she had never seen him so scared like this.
“I like you,” the second time and he gained his composure and made sure that she was really seeing it in his eyes, that he really liked her but Seulgi was scared now instead of him, even though she masked it well.
“I like you, Seulgi,” it seemed that he knew she was lost somewhere and he brought her back by saying that word again. She was so silent and not responding him. “More than friends, more than what you think I am feeling for you, more than what you think of us.”
Seulgi wanted to learn.
She cared so much about this boy who often got himself tangled in useless fights after how many times she got angry for him, all for such senseless reasons and laughing it off as if him getting hurt didn’t matter, this boy who bandaged her fingers when she was unaware of it and this boy with his disheveled hair and sharp, sharp eyes who’d hold her fingers sometimes when she was asleep. She could recognize his hurried steps that would fall to tiptoes into their class, then she could feel the change of air when he brushed past her and took a seat beside her which wasn’t even his seat and she could feel his cracked fingertips from practicing basketball landed and traced her palm.
She was awake, all that time. Ever since she knew that Wonwoo bandaged her scars, she stopped sleeping and chose to be awake.
Wonwoo, the boy whose parents were unaware that such a beautiful son like him existed inside their empty house, a boy neglected that they didn’t even take his report card in seventh grade.
But all the more, Seulgi was monochrome and every second all she thought was death and how painful it was for her mother dealing with it. Her mother no longer ate in the same manner, she stopped laughing in that high pitched tinkling ways and she still smiled so she could let Seulgi know that she was fine, even when she was far from it.
She was afraid of death despite how young she was and how death shouldn’t have stayed inside of her mind.
But all she feared beside death, for Seulgi, was to be abandoned. Wonwoo was a boy and he was fickle-minded. She saw it, despite how honest and straight forward he was, he was fickle for all the hesitance he carried inside of his pocket.
Let it be yes, let it be yes, let it be yes, I like you too, please.
“Whatever feelings you have for me, it’s going to pass,” she shook her head sadly, even though it was his heart who was slowly breaking for she didn’t get irritated, or disgusted, or confused by his feelings. She was just sad. “I’m saving you. I’m saving you from breaking anything between us. I know you’ll get tired of me someday. We’re better this way.”
His heart was slammed and the rain poured over him, trying to wash their pain away. She was aware, eyes wide opened and lips parted while breaking his glass of a heart.
“Is that a no?” His deep voice dropped like his voice, his eyes were still holding for any hope.
“What kind of answer do you want?” Seulgi held her tears back for the boy who was strong and seemingly ready to break in front of her.
I want you to say yes and that I won’t get tired of you I may be young but I know not a lot of people needed me but you always make me feel needed.
Seulgi made him feel needed with her small actions of asking and making sure all of them were presented, and even though she did it also to Mingyu, it touched his butterfly of a heart and how she’d frown whenever he wasn’t around or missing for his basketball practice.
Clenched fists, feelings bleeding out of his cracked heart, he held his tears back from falling. “I know what’s your answer,” he looked down as he felt tears beginning to rise and stung his eyes, the rain was so, so cruel for them. Why did he need to fall for such a complicated girl? Wasn’t his feelings enough for her? Her face was drawn with a no even when her heart was screaming on top of her lungs that she liked him too.
“I will still like you. I don’t care, I don’t want to hear your answer.”
Seulgi hugged him, drenched and skins pressing to each other whispering, “I’m sorry, Wonwoo. I’m sorry, I’m saving you from any kind of destruction between us, I’m sorry.”
“I hate you, Seulgi. I hate you, I hate you. You’re hurting me instead!” Wonwoo choked on his tears and his palm covered his face and his trembling and cracking voice seethed through the rain.
The rain washed and poured salted water to their opened wounds.
Seulgi only held on tighter and tighter. Wonwoo felt his knees unbuckling and letting go.
This hurt even more than all the bruises and punches he got, this hurt with a greater amount of pain more than anything. He felt so suffocated, lacking of oxygen even when Seulgi kept him standing. Seulgi buried and trembled as she pulled him so close to him. He couldn't hear the sound of her cries as it was all muffled by the rain and the fast pounding of his heart.
{Wonwoo never hated Seulgi even for breaking his heart that day. Never. Not a second did he move on from her.)