strike the match (let me go with you)
1000w
wonwoo/seulgi
r-13
part i, ii
she has always looked like a deer caught in the headlights whenever she looks stunned, only that her eyes are feline-like, unlike a deer. her black tresses are still graciously long reaching her hip, and she's clad in her night silk dress, soft pink and falls to her knees. the slightest move that she makes as she shrugs herself in discomfort from the disturbance, sends the loose night dress away from her shoulder a couple of times, giving him a sight of portuding pallid bones. she effortlessly pulls it over again and again, only to slip away more as she gets up from the table.
"don't sleep in the table, seulgi," wonwoo mutters worriedly as he comes closer to her, as he realizes the reason she didn't manage to do so is because two of the upper buttons on her dress are unbottoned, and he proceeds to do so. seulgi keeps her eyes fixed on him, but he doesn't know if she's actually there.
"wonwoo," it feels like years since she's called his name. he doesn't reply and continues to straighten her dress, putting wild strands back into place. he feels like a dollmaker, keeping his doll in check from time to time, dressing her up and keeping ber safe.
"you should sleep, it's 1AM right now. i still have something to work on," he looks at her, and guides her to their bed, ready to tuck her in. he feels obligated to take care of her, for something inside her was lost, something that made him see her in the distance. this will be like any other time for him, a routine that he has grown accustomed with.
"come in, wonwoo," she grips on his arm and it feels like the last time. it's the first time in a long time seulgi manages to pull and push him into her, and he wonders if this is going to be the first or the last. the thought makes him confused and almost insane, to think about the countless possibilities.
no matter how little love he has for her now, she was his sun and he doesn't want to push that fact away. he keeps it dear and close to his heart, how she was herself and bright.
he closes his eyes. "only for a little while,"
"i don't need much of your time,"
she's still considerate as ever, wonwoo ponders on himself as he changes out of his work attire. when he slips into their bed, she's sitting upright, her back supported by the bedheader.
the moon is casting its beam in her face, and she reminds him of a princess from the old tales his teachers told him about. princesses with solem hearts and subdued nature.
she's thin, almost skeletal, that makes him always careful and light whenever he touches her. she's off into her own space again, but now he waits for her to realize.
"wonwoo, i'm destroying everything right?" her voice is still raspy and muddled in dreams. he doesn't look at her, sitting straight facing lines of painting before him whose artist shifts uncomfortably in her space.
he runs his shapely fingers across his jet black hair, turning to look at her as he does this. she's peering down at him, her eyes unreadable and foreign.
"there's nothing left to destroy, seulgi-"
she chortled somewhat bitterly. "nothing left in me to unravel, i guess. nothing left of me to destroy,"
"what happened, seulgi? what happened to us?" he calls out somewhat desperately, and instead of moving away from him, she scoots closer and lets him lay his head on her chest, her fingers on the side of his face. the night is cool and he feels warmer with seulgi beside him, ruffling his hair from time to time. he still loves the way her fingers would straighten out tangled knots in the layers of his hair, combing it all straight.
"i can't understand it myself, wonwoo. but something is lost, and i don't know how to take it back,"
"you can give up on me, wonwoo. it's time-"
"-isn't the girl living across of us pretty? she smiles to you like i did,"
he feels like breaking apart as seulgi is willing to let him go so freely, and she actually sounds like the one he had fell in love with. he moves to the crook of her neck and rests there, his lips breathing close. seulgi shivers under his cold breath and he closes his eyes, listening to her.
"how did you know that?"
"you told me last saturday,"
"and-"
"and you don't have work on saturdays," her voice is crestfallen as she said this, and he can feel her shoulders give away. tears bristle on her eyes and she lets it fall, one by one, drip by drip. each time it falls, it burns his heart like acid.
"i still love you, seulgi,"
"i can't feel it, wonwoo. i can't feel anymore," she chokes on her tears, and he places warm kisses on her neck, to her jaw then to her face, as if doing so would make her feel something. his arms are wrapped around her small waist, and something inside wonwoo tells him to brush the thought of removing her night gown. even when she seems suffocated with the already light fabric enveloping her body.
"i'm running out of time, wonwoo-"
"we are all running out of time. it keeps me awake all night," her breathing falls steady as he places his fingers securely on her waist, on the curves of her body.
no matter how little the love he has for her, out of the blue seulgi is going to be able to strike the match inside of her and becomes herself again. he'd tell himself to be constant for her, no matter how far they drift from each other.
"there's nothing left in me to love, wonwoo,"
she fades away, even with him holding on tightly into her.
.