It's something I've been pondering...
Why the fuck does Gale have a Capitol portrait? I mean seriously, did President Snow's portaitist go to his house in the fucking Seam and go "get that hot piece of ass out of the mines, I must paint him!"
I understand, filmmakers, if I had Liam Hemsworth on my payroll I'd be trying to market the shit out of him too, but whatever happened to continuity? Isn't there another way?
Like, let's talk about Gale, and his magnificent schnoz, and this promotional image:
Now is it just me, or did Gale get bigger? Like he hit puberty since the last film, or someone let Liam off his diet of whatever he could catch with his bare hands in the Australian Outback? I'm sure I've said at least five offensive things in the last two sentences. [Hint: this trend will continue for the next few paragraphs at least.]
He's also wearing mittens. Fingerless mittens. And if you don't already know how I feel about mittens: I LOVE THEM. Now from a plot standpoint it appears that Gale is going to be involved in some sort of scuffle.
Dear Director,
If, during aforementioned scuffle, you could have Gale's shirt ride up, just a little bit around his hip, I would be most grateful, cause that's pretty much the best part.
Love,
K.
Now from the books, I imagine what comes next ain't gonna be pretty. And it should play out something like Roots, but I'm afraid we're going to get 50 Shades of Grey.
[Is it offensive to compare The Hunger Games to Roots? Probably. I'm sure it is to use 50 Shades of Grey and Roots in the same sentence. What I'm trying to express is that that scene should come across as horrifying and a violation of human rights, but I fear certain people are going to take it and go "he's so pretty when he's in pain."
If the filmmakers could somehow achieve the level of 'fucking with your perspective' you get in Cabin in the Woods, it could work, but although I think they did a decent job of minimizing the glamorization of violence in the last Hunger Games, I'm not sure we're quite at Cabin in the Woods yet. That's like the gold standard.]
But enough about Gale...
[And Cabin in the Woods. I should really write up a treatise comparing the two at some point. Then again, this article does a pretty good job of breaking things down.]
Anyway, the costumers have exhibited remarkable consistency in make both Peeta and Finnick look like douchebags.
Finnick looks like a pirate and Peeta appears to be a reject from Miami Vice. And is that a flask in his jacket pocket? Has he been picking up some of Haymitch's bad habits?
Also, the effect of the roses. I just don't know...I suppose it's a little creepy because they must have been plucked right out of President Snow's rose garden [presidential rose garden, hrmmm...] but I just imagine at some point someone [especially Gale] was like "Fuck no, I will not pose holding your stupid flower looking like The Bachelor finals" and then like 50 peacekeepers just beat the shit out of him...
Where's that portrait?
More on costumes. New photos have done little to quell [should have used my Animal icon for the rim-shot: ba-dum-ch!] my anxiety on the arena outfits:
Seriously? We have to watch them wearing those things for half the goddamn movie?
In other news, if anyone will caption this picture, I will love you forever:
There is, literally, limitless potential.
And on to Prim, can anyone explain to me why she needs to wear three shirts?
On a final note. Thor 2 comes out November 5 (for my birthday, naturally) and Catching Fire on the 22nd of that month. The Hemsowrth boys do battle at the box office once again. And there you have it. November here we come!