KITTEN WATCH

[doyouhearthem]

Kitty is once again safely in my care, and I've taken her back to my home on Earth. Now comes the waiting... she looks ready to pop any moment. Everything's ready for her - a warm blanket in a nice secluded area, towels, even a clean pair of scissors just in case. I'm giving her the utmost care and attention.

She's just lying there, full of

Comments

[tiancaidoctor]

Don't squeeze her.

[doyouhearthem]

Oh why not? Just a little squeeze to help it along? No?

...Fine. What do you suggest.

[tiancaidoctor]

A pregnant cat doesn't work like a tube of toothpaste.

I'd suggest waiting and leaving her alone. Most animals are able to go through that process without help.

[doyouhearthem]

I knew that! I knew - I was kidding, all right? It was a joke! Pfft, no sense of humour, you.

She's lying there like a bloody slug. I can't... perk her up or anything?

[sky_w_diamonds]

Squeeze her? Good Lord, you make me glad we never had children, Harry. Not that I wouldn't have wanted to raise your twisted spawn, but really, I hardly relish the idea of squeezing.

[doyouhearthem]

Not that I didn't try.

It's frustrating. There must be some way to speed things along! She spent all day lying on the floor. I took her to the bed, and she's barely moved since. I can't stand it.

[sky_w_diamonds]

You do realise she's not there solely for the purpose of your entertainment, do you not? She's pregnant; that's her small privilege before she has to give birth to a squalling litter of kittens. I'm sure soon enough you'll be complaining about the noise she's making actually birthing the things.

((ooc: The Master wanted to knock Lucy up? *gasp*))

[doyouhearthem]

...Mnn. Point. Yet another female thing to make me feel useless. Bugger all, I'm leaving.

[He's still jealous that the Doctor managed to breed and he can't.]

[out_of_my_time]

A warm blanket and towels for your pregnant cat? Blimey, that is a bit domestic for you, innit? Far cry from subjugating galaxies, certainly.

[doyouhearthem]

I wouldn't be cruel to her. I'm not cruel to everyone.

[out_of_my_time]

Oh, 'course not. Even evil megalomaniacs can have their fluffy little bundles of love, is that it? Certainly worked in the Bond films, I suppose.

[doyouhearthem]

OH ALL RIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH JABS AT ME AND MY CAT

FUCK OFF

[timey_wimey]

Sorry to sound like an echo, but really, don't squeeze her. I'm sure it wouldn't kill you to be patient for once, hmm?

[doyouhearthem]

Then I'm sure all of you will be pleased to know I haven't squeezed her. Not hard, anyway.

Instead of being patient, I've decided to take a trip. I doubt Kitty will have moved by the time I return.

[timey_wimey]

Oh yeah, very pleased. ...

Really, how long do you plan on leaving for?

[doyouhearthem]

Why, are you offering to look after her?

[ninelivesbaby]

Dude, your cat? Is a fucking bitch.

[doyouhearthem]

...Pardon?

[ninelivesbaby]

Well, she is. I mean, yeah, she's a cat, so she's already got a superiority complex and then some, but holy crap man.

[doyouhearthem]

How do you mean? She... gave you trouble? She seems fine to me.