question for ya!

[dpitman]

I need to know how to advise my daughter wisely on an issue concerning Ayden..my grandson, so I thought this might be a good place to come

Comments

[nverland]

It's a major hassle to change a birth certificate and requires a court order. Giving the child any last name doesn't give the other person rights. If he's on the birth certificate he has some rights, but he has to prove relationship to gain any rights. I'd strongly recommend you talk with an attorney about it all. POssibly legal aide can help with that.

[dpitman]

thanks! we are really on the same page on this, as I strongly recommended that she talk to an attorney. Legal aide is a GREAT idea too! And his name has been put on the birth certificate several months ago. Its not a thing that I forsee any problems,but still..ya just want to be careful!

[nverland]

exactly! and no matter what the little guys parents want, it's what's best for the baby, not them.

[dpitman]

amen!! and what Im really liking is that both Ashley and Bobby are fully united in making Ayden's life a good one!

[belil_gaviel]

I think IMHO, that you did the right thing in telling her to go to a lawyer and ask them of her rights, but I agree with your husband. I'm not in the know of all that so it's good that you advised her to see a lawyer.

[dpitman]

*waves..and runs over and hugs my neighbor!!!*
how are you doing!!! And thanks...thats exactly what I felt in my heart is that she should talk to a pro on something this important! I do agree with what Terry said too..and thats the main reason I want her to seek advice from someone who KNOWS the rules! Im so glad though that they are working together for the best for Ayden. I hope they will continue to do this always!

[belil_gaviel]

Anything that is in the best interest of the child is always a plus in my book. I hope it continues that way.

So what do you think about all this crappy snow. LOL

Miss you hon. We really do need to get together.

[dpitman]

yeah..the snow....grrr!!! just enough to be a real pain in the ass! My neighborhood sucks to get out of in even the least bit of snow, and then there was the sleet underneath to make it worse. I can see down to 23rd street and it actually looks pretty clear, so I was tempted to try and do some work today, but then I figured...nah...I do have the flexibility to just not budge today, which means I have to actually WORK tomorrow..lol...but I can live with that!
And YES...we DO need to get together! Lets get this crappy weather outta the way and finally do something FUN!! Thats so funny that we probably are two of the closest ones in here as far as distance from each other's house! lol!! Lordy, I was out there recently near the Grandview triangle...good grief...I couldve sworn I was going to get lost in the Burmuda triangle..can that get any more confusing?? ha! Thats why for the most part if I come out that direction for work, I take Blue Ridge all the way out to 71!!

[squig_chelle]

Each state has its own laws regarding how much power a parent has...so consulting with an attorney is the BEST avenue for your daughter to follow. They will be able to advise her as to what is best and if changing his last name will/might have repercussions in the future. Good luck to you all!

[dpitman]

thank you so much! I really dont have any problem with him having Bobby's last name at all, but I sure want her to talk to someone before she makes that descision. His dad has really proven himself to be a loving dad that truly does want to provide for his son too!

[mizbhaven13]

Like Carol said, the name doesn't give him any special control or power over anything. He can't refuse child support because the kid doesn't have his name, and he can't take him away if he does have the name. I was going to ask about the birth certificate (making sure the father's name was listed) because when I had Shana, I was in the same situation basically and refused to put her father's name on there. I recently found out that he had passed away, and because of my stubbornness, she can't collect on his Social Security or military pension.

[dpitman]

yes, daddy's name is now on the birth certificate. We are very lucky in our case in that it was Bobby that was so proactive in establishing child support through his disability to provide for Ayden. Because he has been such a good dad and has done so right by Ayden, I think it would be fine if they want to have Ayden have his name, and in fact, I wouldve never thought much about it until hubby thought there might be issues concerning it. Im glad it will be fine for them to do it if that's what she chooses.
I hate to hear that about Shana not being able to collect on the Social Security or military pension of her birth father.

[mizbhaven13]

Since I didn't answer your original question, I thought I'd do that now. Shana has my last name because I knew her father would never take responsibility for her. But since Ayden's dad is trying to do that, I think he should have his dad's last name. Later on in life, should Ayden decide he doesn't want it, he could always change it back.

[dpitman]

opps...I just now noticed this reply!! I agree with you too! His dad has surprisingly stepped up to plate in such a great way!

[cmrockhold]

honestly the child has every right to have his last name...that doesn't have anything to do with parental rights...its just legally acknowledging his son...so i wouldn't worry about it...things will be just fine and no one can take a child away from their mother unless she was proven unfit....

[dpitman]

thanks for the reassurance! Im glad the name change wont make things any different. One thing Ashley is is a really good mom! Ayden is really lucky, because dad has chosen to be a really good dad too! He sure loves his boy!

[cmrockhold]

and thats a great thing!!! its good that they are both good parents and that makes a huge difference...hugs!!!