Blue Skies and Pain, Part One
Reid stood outside ICU room #5, staring at the sleeping figure in the bed. His heart raced in his chest, and his stomach rolled. He thought he might be sick. He eyed the garbage can in the corner, wondering how many steps it would take him to get there.
"Doctor?" Reid turned and looked at a short nurse with dark hair and large brown eyes. "Are you consulting on the case? If so, I need to see your badge number." Reid handed her his badge. "Neurology?"
"I'm not consulting...I........." He looked back through the window. He hadn't seen Luke in over nineteen months, ever since he had left for Los Angeles with his film maker boyfriend with perfectly restored vision. They hadn't kept in touch in any fashion. No calls. No texts. Katie had tried to relay news about him the first few months, but he'd always cut her off, and it got so heated between them one evening that he told her that she needed to stop or he was moving out. He sucked in a breath and ran a hand over his face. He always knew that he'd run into Luke again in this god forsaken town at some point; it was Luke's hometown after all, but he didn't expect to see him like this. "Um......I'm just checking in on him..."
"Is he a friend of yours?"
Reid huffed out a stifled chuckle and felt his stomach roll again. "No.......I mean, yeah............I guess...."
The nurse handed Reid's badge back to him. "The shift before me told me that he was flown in by private jet this morning. I'll be monitoring him closely throughout the night. Feel free to go in. It's well past visiting hours, but you're on staff, so it's fine. Please, let me know if you need anything. My name's Sandra."
Reid nodded as the nurse walked away. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text: *i'll be here late* He pocketed his phone, took a deep breath, and turned the handle on the door.
The room was incredibly quiet, which was odd for the ICU. Reid walked over to the IV stand and looked at the bags hanging there. He studied the monitor near the bed, the vitals that it was monitoring looking good. Finally, he looked at Luke, who was thinner than he'd ever seen him. He appeared pale and gaunt, and Reid was taken back by his tightly cropped hair. He closed his eyes, remembering how Luke's hair was always in his eyes when they first met, back when they had both hidden behind the pretense of hating each other, and how he had to restrain himself from reaching out and touching it. Reid opened his eyes and continued to survey Luke: days worth of stubble on his dimpled chin, a new scar by his left eyebrow, chipped black nail polish on his fingers. He appeared years older than the last time he'd seen him.
"I'm sorry, Reid...I have to go to LA with Noah. Please, don't hate me."
Reid shook his head to clear out the memory. He pulled a chair up close to the bed and sat down. He watched Luke's chest rise and fall. He listened to him breathe. Finally, he sat forward, leaned his forehead against the mattress, and closed his eyes.
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Luke grumbled.
"I know, Mr. Snyder, but it's important that I monitor your vitals every couple of hours. I'm sorry, hon. You can go back to sleep as soon as I'm through."
"Thirsty," Reid heard Luke croak out, and he raised his head, blinking sleep out of his own eyes.
"Your fever has increased," Sandra said as Reid saw the realization on Luke's face.
"Reid? Reid?!" Luke's voice was thick, and he sounded surprised and panicked at the same time. "Is that you?"
Reid stood up and brushed his hand over Luke's fevered head to calm him. "Yeah, it's me." He looked up at the monitor and saw that Luke's heart rate was elevated. "It's okay, Luke......you need to calm down. Relax, okay?"
"Reid?!!"
Reid looked at Sandra. "Sweetie, sit back," she instructed, putting a hand on Luke's shoulder. "You're okay. Dr. Oliver is here to see you, but you have to stay calm."
Luke shook his head violently.
"Mr. Snyder!" Reid said in a commanding voice. Luke sucked in a breath and then covered his eyes. When he lowered his hands, Reid could see tears there. "Luke..." He reached forward, wrapping his hand around Luke's forearm. He looked at Sandra. "He's on fire."
She nodded. "Mr. Snyder, let's remove your gown. We need to reduce your temperature." She hit the call button near the bed.
"Reid," Luke repeated, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Reid's shirt. "Reid..." He pulled himself to a prone position and pulled at Reid's shirt with his other hand as well.
"Cut it out, Luke," Reid said, trying to remove Luke's hands.
"Reid, please..." Luke held on tighter, and Reid could feel the waves of heat rolling off of him.
"It's the fever," the nurse said. "It's making him agitated. He's not thinking clearly."
"YES?" a crackly voice on the Intercom sounded.
"Deanne, I need the sedative Dr. Mack prescribed, and we need some wet towels. Also, check his chart and see if he can have Ibuprofen again. If so, bring it."
"Sure thing," the voice answered.
Reid managed to remove one of Luke's hands from the grip on his shirt, but the other one still held on. Sandra put her hand on Luke's cheek and turned his face toward her. "Mr. Snyder, hon...please, let go of Dr. Oliver. You're making him uncomfortable." Luke looked back to Reid, and Reid could hear the labored puffs of air coming out of Luke's nose. Luke relaxed his hold, but not completely. "That's it, sweetie. You're okay," the kind nurse said putting her hand behind his back and easing him down. "That's good. You're okay. That's right, lay back." Luke nodded, clarity coming to his eyes, and he finally released Reid's shirt. "That's good. Thank you." Sandra untied Luke's gown behind his neck. "We're going to take this gown off of you, okay? Your fever is too high. We're going to get it down, and then you'll feel more like yourself, okay?"
Luke nodded weakly. "Reid..."
Reid put his hand on Luke's arm. "Yeah. I'm here. You're okay, Luke."
"Reid.....I'm sorry...."
Reid could see the tears welling in Luke's eyes.
Reid shook his head. "There's nothing to apologize for. C'mon, let's get this gown off so we can work on getting the fever down." He looked at the nurse and they both tugged on Luke's gown and pulled it off. Reid sucked in a breath. Luke was thinner than Reid had even thought, and he had a dark bruise on his side, near his transplant scar. "Luke. You're...........how'd you get the bruise?"
"Fight," Luke said, his eyes closing. "I won." He chuckled weakly. "Kicked that fucker's ass." Reid didn't bother asking who Luke was talking about. His eyes were too busy taking in the large dragon tattoo on Luke's shoulder and then lowering to see a number of small cuts on Luke's abdomen. His eyes met the Sandra's. Luke cuts himself. What the hell happened to him out there?
Just then a second nurse walked into the room and handed a syringe to Sandra. "Sedative."
Sandra put the syringe in her pocket. "He's okay now. We'll hold off," she said nodding to Luke, who now had his eyes closed and was breathing evenly. "Deanne, this is Dr. Oliver. He's a friend of the patient."
Deanne nodded. "Hello, Doctor. Long time no see. I used to work in your department."
Reid nodded, even though he didn't remember her. Maybe she looked familiar, he thought. He watched her inject what he assumed was additional Ibuprofen into Luke's IV line. "Don't hold my prior behavior against me," he tried to joke, knowing that if she worked his department he'd probably been an ass to her at one time or another.
She smiled.
Both nurses began wiping Luke's chest, torso, neck, shoulders, and face with the wet towels. Reid looked down and realized he was now holding Luke's hand. He knew that he should probably move out of their way, but he couldn't. He didn't want to let go. Luke. "What's his diagnosis?" Sandra looked at him. "I can go look it up on the hospital intranet," Reid argued, knowing that the nurse didn't want to violate patient confidentiality.
"Severe UTI, and it has affected his kidney," Deanne answered instead. "He should be okay. His body's fighting it hard."
Reid nodded.
After thirty mintues, Sandra ran a thermometer across Luke's forehead. "101.3. That's better, Mr. Snyder."
Reid looked at Luke who was sound asleep. The nurses gathered the wet towels, and Deanne left the room. Reid rubbed his eyes. "You staying here for awhile?" Sandra asked him.
"Yeah."
"I'm gong to leave him uncovered to let the additional heat escape. If he wakes up and is cold or shivering, he can have a light sheet. No blanket."
Reid nodded, having no desire to snark that he was a doctor and he knew that. He was internally thankful to the nurses for getting Luke's fever down to a manageable level.
After Sandra left the room, Reid sat in the chair on Luke's left side. His eyes ran over Luke, trying to take in each and every hint of what he'd been through since he'd last seen him. Where was Noah? Were they still together? Was Luke drinking? Doing drugs? Why was Luke self harming? Reid pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a shaky breath that alarmed him. Why did he care about this kid so much? They had not even been officially together six weeks when Luke dropped the bomb that he was moving to LA. He'd known Luke all of seven months. He'd now been away from him more than double the time he had even known him. The blonde had made him fall in love with him and then disappeared. Reid should hate him. He wanted to hate him. But when he looked at Luke lying there sick and alone, Reid felt fiercely protective. And sad. And angry at everything and anything that had ever hurt Luke.
Reid sighed and tugged the sheet down just to Luke's upper thigh and wasn't surprised to see more small cut marks there. "Jesus, Luke..." he whispered. He then put his chin on the mattress and gently leaned his forehead against Luke's tattooed shoulder. He was exhausted, and it only took a couple of minutes for him to fall asleep.
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Reid startled awake, sitting up quickly, his eyes landing on Sandra, who was raising the sheet up over Luke's torso. "His fever broke," she whispered.
"Good," Reid said, stretching. He placed his hand on Luke's sweaty forehead softly and nodded, confirming the fact for himself.
"Would you like a pillow and blanket for the couch?" Sandra asked.
Reid looked at his watch. 2:37. "No, uh....no. I need to get home."
"Very well. Don't worry, we'll keep a close eye on him tonight." Reid nodded. "Goodnight, Doctor."
"Goodnight...and uh,....thank you." Sandra smiled and left the room.
Reid gently ran his hand over Luke's head. "Goodnight, Mr. Snyder." He leaned down and pressed his lip to Luke's forehead.
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Reid entered the apartment and went straight to the refrigerator. He filled a glass of water from the dispenser on the door and drank it down before filling it up again. He eyed the leftovers in the fridge and thought about making a plate, but his eyes burned, and the need for sleep won out over his need for food. He walked to his bedroom with the glass in hand, turning off the light in the living room. He entered his dark bedroom and put the glass of water on the nightstand. He shucked his clothes, leaving them all on the floor, and then went to the attached bathroom to pee. When he returned, he climbed into bed and spooned up against the form sleeping there. He felt a hand reach back and run through his hair. "Everything okay?" a voice asked, sleepily.
Reid kissed the side of his boyfriend's head. "Yeah, go back to sleep." He wrapped his arm around the man sleeping next to him and stared into the darkness.
"Doctor?" Reid turned and looked at a short nurse with dark hair and large brown eyes. "Are you consulting on the case? If so, I need to see your badge number." Reid handed her his badge. "Neurology?"
"I'm not consulting...I........." He looked back through the window. He hadn't seen Luke in over nineteen months, ever since he had left for Los Angeles with his film maker boyfriend with perfectly restored vision. They hadn't kept in touch in any fashion. No calls. No texts. Katie had tried to relay news about him the first few months, but he'd always cut her off, and it got so heated between them one evening that he told her that she needed to stop or he was moving out. He sucked in a breath and ran a hand over his face. He always knew that he'd run into Luke again in this god forsaken town at some point; it was Luke's hometown after all, but he didn't expect to see him like this. "Um......I'm just checking in on him..."
"Is he a friend of yours?"
Reid huffed out a stifled chuckle and felt his stomach roll again. "No.......I mean, yeah............I guess...."
The nurse handed Reid's badge back to him. "The shift before me told me that he was flown in by private jet this morning. I'll be monitoring him closely throughout the night. Feel free to go in. It's well past visiting hours, but you're on staff, so it's fine. Please, let me know if you need anything. My name's Sandra."
Reid nodded as the nurse walked away. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text: *i'll be here late* He pocketed his phone, took a deep breath, and turned the handle on the door.
The room was incredibly quiet, which was odd for the ICU. Reid walked over to the IV stand and looked at the bags hanging there. He studied the monitor near the bed, the vitals that it was monitoring looking good. Finally, he looked at Luke, who was thinner than he'd ever seen him. He appeared pale and gaunt, and Reid was taken back by his tightly cropped hair. He closed his eyes, remembering how Luke's hair was always in his eyes when they first met, back when they had both hidden behind the pretense of hating each other, and how he had to restrain himself from reaching out and touching it. Reid opened his eyes and continued to survey Luke: days worth of stubble on his dimpled chin, a new scar by his left eyebrow, chipped black nail polish on his fingers. He appeared years older than the last time he'd seen him.
"I'm sorry, Reid...I have to go to LA with Noah. Please, don't hate me."
Reid shook his head to clear out the memory. He pulled a chair up close to the bed and sat down. He watched Luke's chest rise and fall. He listened to him breathe. Finally, he sat forward, leaned his forehead against the mattress, and closed his eyes.
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Luke grumbled.
"I know, Mr. Snyder, but it's important that I monitor your vitals every couple of hours. I'm sorry, hon. You can go back to sleep as soon as I'm through."
"Thirsty," Reid heard Luke croak out, and he raised his head, blinking sleep out of his own eyes.
"Your fever has increased," Sandra said as Reid saw the realization on Luke's face.
"Reid? Reid?!" Luke's voice was thick, and he sounded surprised and panicked at the same time. "Is that you?"
Reid stood up and brushed his hand over Luke's fevered head to calm him. "Yeah, it's me." He looked up at the monitor and saw that Luke's heart rate was elevated. "It's okay, Luke......you need to calm down. Relax, okay?"
"Reid?!!"
Reid looked at Sandra. "Sweetie, sit back," she instructed, putting a hand on Luke's shoulder. "You're okay. Dr. Oliver is here to see you, but you have to stay calm."
Luke shook his head violently.
"Mr. Snyder!" Reid said in a commanding voice. Luke sucked in a breath and then covered his eyes. When he lowered his hands, Reid could see tears there. "Luke..." He reached forward, wrapping his hand around Luke's forearm. He looked at Sandra. "He's on fire."
She nodded. "Mr. Snyder, let's remove your gown. We need to reduce your temperature." She hit the call button near the bed.
"Reid," Luke repeated, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Reid's shirt. "Reid..." He pulled himself to a prone position and pulled at Reid's shirt with his other hand as well.
"Cut it out, Luke," Reid said, trying to remove Luke's hands.
"Reid, please..." Luke held on tighter, and Reid could feel the waves of heat rolling off of him.
"It's the fever," the nurse said. "It's making him agitated. He's not thinking clearly."
"YES?" a crackly voice on the Intercom sounded.
"Deanne, I need the sedative Dr. Mack prescribed, and we need some wet towels. Also, check his chart and see if he can have Ibuprofen again. If so, bring it."
"Sure thing," the voice answered.
Reid managed to remove one of Luke's hands from the grip on his shirt, but the other one still held on. Sandra put her hand on Luke's cheek and turned his face toward her. "Mr. Snyder, hon...please, let go of Dr. Oliver. You're making him uncomfortable." Luke looked back to Reid, and Reid could hear the labored puffs of air coming out of Luke's nose. Luke relaxed his hold, but not completely. "That's it, sweetie. You're okay," the kind nurse said putting her hand behind his back and easing him down. "That's good. You're okay. That's right, lay back." Luke nodded, clarity coming to his eyes, and he finally released Reid's shirt. "That's good. Thank you." Sandra untied Luke's gown behind his neck. "We're going to take this gown off of you, okay? Your fever is too high. We're going to get it down, and then you'll feel more like yourself, okay?"
Luke nodded weakly. "Reid..."
Reid put his hand on Luke's arm. "Yeah. I'm here. You're okay, Luke."
"Reid.....I'm sorry...."
Reid could see the tears welling in Luke's eyes.
Reid shook his head. "There's nothing to apologize for. C'mon, let's get this gown off so we can work on getting the fever down." He looked at the nurse and they both tugged on Luke's gown and pulled it off. Reid sucked in a breath. Luke was thinner than Reid had even thought, and he had a dark bruise on his side, near his transplant scar. "Luke. You're...........how'd you get the bruise?"
"Fight," Luke said, his eyes closing. "I won." He chuckled weakly. "Kicked that fucker's ass." Reid didn't bother asking who Luke was talking about. His eyes were too busy taking in the large dragon tattoo on Luke's shoulder and then lowering to see a number of small cuts on Luke's abdomen. His eyes met the Sandra's. Luke cuts himself. What the hell happened to him out there?
Just then a second nurse walked into the room and handed a syringe to Sandra. "Sedative."
Sandra put the syringe in her pocket. "He's okay now. We'll hold off," she said nodding to Luke, who now had his eyes closed and was breathing evenly. "Deanne, this is Dr. Oliver. He's a friend of the patient."
Deanne nodded. "Hello, Doctor. Long time no see. I used to work in your department."
Reid nodded, even though he didn't remember her. Maybe she looked familiar, he thought. He watched her inject what he assumed was additional Ibuprofen into Luke's IV line. "Don't hold my prior behavior against me," he tried to joke, knowing that if she worked his department he'd probably been an ass to her at one time or another.
She smiled.
Both nurses began wiping Luke's chest, torso, neck, shoulders, and face with the wet towels. Reid looked down and realized he was now holding Luke's hand. He knew that he should probably move out of their way, but he couldn't. He didn't want to let go. Luke. "What's his diagnosis?" Sandra looked at him. "I can go look it up on the hospital intranet," Reid argued, knowing that the nurse didn't want to violate patient confidentiality.
"Severe UTI, and it has affected his kidney," Deanne answered instead. "He should be okay. His body's fighting it hard."
Reid nodded.
After thirty mintues, Sandra ran a thermometer across Luke's forehead. "101.3. That's better, Mr. Snyder."
Reid looked at Luke who was sound asleep. The nurses gathered the wet towels, and Deanne left the room. Reid rubbed his eyes. "You staying here for awhile?" Sandra asked him.
"Yeah."
"I'm gong to leave him uncovered to let the additional heat escape. If he wakes up and is cold or shivering, he can have a light sheet. No blanket."
Reid nodded, having no desire to snark that he was a doctor and he knew that. He was internally thankful to the nurses for getting Luke's fever down to a manageable level.
After Sandra left the room, Reid sat in the chair on Luke's left side. His eyes ran over Luke, trying to take in each and every hint of what he'd been through since he'd last seen him. Where was Noah? Were they still together? Was Luke drinking? Doing drugs? Why was Luke self harming? Reid pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a shaky breath that alarmed him. Why did he care about this kid so much? They had not even been officially together six weeks when Luke dropped the bomb that he was moving to LA. He'd known Luke all of seven months. He'd now been away from him more than double the time he had even known him. The blonde had made him fall in love with him and then disappeared. Reid should hate him. He wanted to hate him. But when he looked at Luke lying there sick and alone, Reid felt fiercely protective. And sad. And angry at everything and anything that had ever hurt Luke.
Reid sighed and tugged the sheet down just to Luke's upper thigh and wasn't surprised to see more small cut marks there. "Jesus, Luke..." he whispered. He then put his chin on the mattress and gently leaned his forehead against Luke's tattooed shoulder. He was exhausted, and it only took a couple of minutes for him to fall asleep.
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Reid startled awake, sitting up quickly, his eyes landing on Sandra, who was raising the sheet up over Luke's torso. "His fever broke," she whispered.
"Good," Reid said, stretching. He placed his hand on Luke's sweaty forehead softly and nodded, confirming the fact for himself.
"Would you like a pillow and blanket for the couch?" Sandra asked.
Reid looked at his watch. 2:37. "No, uh....no. I need to get home."
"Very well. Don't worry, we'll keep a close eye on him tonight." Reid nodded. "Goodnight, Doctor."
"Goodnight...and uh,....thank you." Sandra smiled and left the room.
Reid gently ran his hand over Luke's head. "Goodnight, Mr. Snyder." He leaned down and pressed his lip to Luke's forehead.
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Reid entered the apartment and went straight to the refrigerator. He filled a glass of water from the dispenser on the door and drank it down before filling it up again. He eyed the leftovers in the fridge and thought about making a plate, but his eyes burned, and the need for sleep won out over his need for food. He walked to his bedroom with the glass in hand, turning off the light in the living room. He entered his dark bedroom and put the glass of water on the nightstand. He shucked his clothes, leaving them all on the floor, and then went to the attached bathroom to pee. When he returned, he climbed into bed and spooned up against the form sleeping there. He felt a hand reach back and run through his hair. "Everything okay?" a voice asked, sleepily.
Reid kissed the side of his boyfriend's head. "Yeah, go back to sleep." He wrapped his arm around the man sleeping next to him and stared into the darkness.