A/R in Disguise
Love in the Time of Hydra
(An Adama/Roslin drabble in disguise)
I'm posting this largely for my own amusement, because, again, couldn't get it out of my head, but if you get a chance, check out Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I'm really enjoying it this season, and I'm excited to see how it ties into the movie coming out on May 1st.
Spoilers through Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode ‘Love in the Time of Hydra.’
They are minor spoilers, though, and if you don't mind being spoiled, you should read underneath the cut to understand why I've labeled this post an A/R drapple in disguise...
Still, just in case...
[Spoiler (click to open)]For those not familiar with the show Roberto Gonzales is a government agent, a famous tactician and, for a number of years, the commander of a S.H.I.E.L.D. ‘ship’. Though a silver fox, one who is impossibly charming when he wants to be, he was severely shaken by the recent destruction of his world. Further, he has devoted himself to his ‘duty’ after the death of his wife.
Hmmm.
Yes, I see Adama/Roslin everywhere, and I adore Edward James Olmos.
Still, you should watch.
Standard disclaimer: I own nothing. BSG and Adama/Roslin belong to RDM and Universal, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Roberto Gonzales belong to Marvel. I just hope they don’t mind me borrowing them…
Pairing: It really is A/R in disguise, I swear.
Rating: G
Roberto Gonzales limped through the broken, abandoned, halls of the ‘New’ Shield, carefully using his cane to pick through the debris. The emergency lights glinted off the silver frames of his glasses ands cast deep shadows into his face, granite, though hewed by age and deep scars. His hair, which was mostly silver now, was matched in colour by his full mustache and the head of his cane.
Though he should be pleased by the outcome of this battle, he was mostly just sad. Nick Fury’s obsession with secrecy had led to the destruction of the formidable organization that had been S.H.I.E.L.D. It had led to the deaths of an untold number of good men and women. People who had devoted themselves to S.H.I.E.L.D., even as he had, even as Phil Coulson had.
The capture of the majority of Coulson’s team, other than Skye and Coulson himself, meant they were on the verge of revealing all of Fury’s carefully kept secrets. Once they were exposed, Gonzales could re-form S.H.I.E.L.D., re-form it the way it had meant to be, without secrecy and without alien influence. This was a necessary step. He should be satisfied with the results of his approach. He was. He was just…
Damn it; was this a side effect of getting old; melancholy?
His cane caught on some debris, causing him to stumble, wincing and grimacing in pain. He hadn’t felt old, not till recently, not exactly, not until he’d had to fight off five assassins and ended up, with of all things, a major ax wound. He’d started to feel his age, truly feel it, that day, after the public re-emergence of HYDRA, after the formation of the new ‘SHIELD’, after the Fall of the Triskelion. He’d almost died that day. Would have, if not for Isabelle Hartley and others.
Even after the Battle of New York, even after the ‘alien incursion’… Even then, he’d never felt this old. He sighed. If you’d told him aliens would one day simply show up and destroy a major city, he would have told you that you were crazy. Aliens, alien tech, ‘enhanced’ humans, stronger, faster, those with powers… They were all a threat. He’d argued with Fury to wash their hands of the whole lot.
He’d long since lost his interest in learning, seeing, experiencing, new things…
Just then, he caught a glimpse of lustrous brown hair out of the corner of his eye. Through it was a rich chestnut rather than deep auburn, and though the captured scientist had blue eyes rather than green, there was something about her… The way she held her head, the way she held his eyes directly, the look of prideful despair; damn it, she reminded him of…
No! Thinking of her only distracted him, filled him with an unending well of grief and despair; of anger and deep helplessness. He couldn’t fall down that rabbit hole again.
He’d never climb out again.
The truth was he’d lost all interest in the world the day she’d left him. Left him to live on as she breathed her last. He should have been relieved that day; she’d been in so much pain, she’d struggled to breathe. He’d had to watch her, helplessly, unable to do anything, anything but love her. They hadn’t even bothered to summon the doctors or nurses to her bed; anyway, there was nothing they could have done…
So yes, he should have been relieved that her agony was finally over, but he knew the truth. He couldn’t lie, to himself at least. He’d been desperate to keep her. He was a selfish bastard; he knew it. He just couldn’t bear to let her go. Just because he hadn’t had a choice didn’t mean he could live with it.
Without her, there was nothing to keep him going. Coming back to S.H.I.E.L.D. had been a means to an end, something to keep him moving, to keep him getting up every day. It had given him a reason to keep living, if not a purpose. His anger at Fury’s betrayal, at HYDRA, at Coulson’s obsessions with alien tech, it all served the same purpose.
His anger at their betrayal of everything he’d believed in, it fuelled him. It provided the necessary motivation he needed simply in order to get through the day.
Kept him from sitting down on a hilltop somewhere, next to her grave, not far from their cabin.
Keep him from sitting alone on that hilltop, talking to a ghost from an afterlife he had never been sure he believed in…
Because some days that sounded exactly like heaven.
(An Adama/Roslin drabble in disguise)
I'm posting this largely for my own amusement, because, again, couldn't get it out of my head, but if you get a chance, check out Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I'm really enjoying it this season, and I'm excited to see how it ties into the movie coming out on May 1st.
Spoilers through Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode ‘Love in the Time of Hydra.’
They are minor spoilers, though, and if you don't mind being spoiled, you should read underneath the cut to understand why I've labeled this post an A/R drapple in disguise...
Still, just in case...
[Spoiler (click to open)]For those not familiar with the show Roberto Gonzales is a government agent, a famous tactician and, for a number of years, the commander of a S.H.I.E.L.D. ‘ship’. Though a silver fox, one who is impossibly charming when he wants to be, he was severely shaken by the recent destruction of his world. Further, he has devoted himself to his ‘duty’ after the death of his wife.
Hmmm.
Yes, I see Adama/Roslin everywhere, and I adore Edward James Olmos.
Still, you should watch.
Standard disclaimer: I own nothing. BSG and Adama/Roslin belong to RDM and Universal, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Roberto Gonzales belong to Marvel. I just hope they don’t mind me borrowing them…
Pairing: It really is A/R in disguise, I swear.
Rating: G
Roberto Gonzales limped through the broken, abandoned, halls of the ‘New’ Shield, carefully using his cane to pick through the debris. The emergency lights glinted off the silver frames of his glasses ands cast deep shadows into his face, granite, though hewed by age and deep scars. His hair, which was mostly silver now, was matched in colour by his full mustache and the head of his cane.
Though he should be pleased by the outcome of this battle, he was mostly just sad. Nick Fury’s obsession with secrecy had led to the destruction of the formidable organization that had been S.H.I.E.L.D. It had led to the deaths of an untold number of good men and women. People who had devoted themselves to S.H.I.E.L.D., even as he had, even as Phil Coulson had.
The capture of the majority of Coulson’s team, other than Skye and Coulson himself, meant they were on the verge of revealing all of Fury’s carefully kept secrets. Once they were exposed, Gonzales could re-form S.H.I.E.L.D., re-form it the way it had meant to be, without secrecy and without alien influence. This was a necessary step. He should be satisfied with the results of his approach. He was. He was just…
Damn it; was this a side effect of getting old; melancholy?
His cane caught on some debris, causing him to stumble, wincing and grimacing in pain. He hadn’t felt old, not till recently, not exactly, not until he’d had to fight off five assassins and ended up, with of all things, a major ax wound. He’d started to feel his age, truly feel it, that day, after the public re-emergence of HYDRA, after the formation of the new ‘SHIELD’, after the Fall of the Triskelion. He’d almost died that day. Would have, if not for Isabelle Hartley and others.
Even after the Battle of New York, even after the ‘alien incursion’… Even then, he’d never felt this old. He sighed. If you’d told him aliens would one day simply show up and destroy a major city, he would have told you that you were crazy. Aliens, alien tech, ‘enhanced’ humans, stronger, faster, those with powers… They were all a threat. He’d argued with Fury to wash their hands of the whole lot.
He’d long since lost his interest in learning, seeing, experiencing, new things…
Just then, he caught a glimpse of lustrous brown hair out of the corner of his eye. Through it was a rich chestnut rather than deep auburn, and though the captured scientist had blue eyes rather than green, there was something about her… The way she held her head, the way she held his eyes directly, the look of prideful despair; damn it, she reminded him of…
No! Thinking of her only distracted him, filled him with an unending well of grief and despair; of anger and deep helplessness. He couldn’t fall down that rabbit hole again.
He’d never climb out again.
The truth was he’d lost all interest in the world the day she’d left him. Left him to live on as she breathed her last. He should have been relieved that day; she’d been in so much pain, she’d struggled to breathe. He’d had to watch her, helplessly, unable to do anything, anything but love her. They hadn’t even bothered to summon the doctors or nurses to her bed; anyway, there was nothing they could have done…
So yes, he should have been relieved that her agony was finally over, but he knew the truth. He couldn’t lie, to himself at least. He’d been desperate to keep her. He was a selfish bastard; he knew it. He just couldn’t bear to let her go. Just because he hadn’t had a choice didn’t mean he could live with it.
Without her, there was nothing to keep him going. Coming back to S.H.I.E.L.D. had been a means to an end, something to keep him moving, to keep him getting up every day. It had given him a reason to keep living, if not a purpose. His anger at Fury’s betrayal, at HYDRA, at Coulson’s obsessions with alien tech, it all served the same purpose.
His anger at their betrayal of everything he’d believed in, it fuelled him. It provided the necessary motivation he needed simply in order to get through the day.
Kept him from sitting down on a hilltop somewhere, next to her grave, not far from their cabin.
Keep him from sitting alone on that hilltop, talking to a ghost from an afterlife he had never been sure he believed in…
Because some days that sounded exactly like heaven.