(no subject)
Needed to vent. Behind the cut is my sob-story. Read it an weep.
I'd like to start out by saying that there are so many things wrong right now that it's a miracle I haven't done SOMETHING incredibly stupid and dumb because I'm angry.
My ceramics teacher suddenly decides to spring on me yesterday that the projects I've been working on the entire year don't fit the criteria and that I have a month to completely start over.
My brother has always been abusive and power-hungry, and has officially made me freaked out to ever be in a relationship with a guy.
I'm pissed off because I know that, even if I get into a good college that focusses on what I want to study, my family won't be supportive because they won't view it as something that's worth spending money on.
My mother would rather get her nails done than spend time talking with her children.
My grades are suffering because I've stopped caring about anything.
I'm feeling so out of the loop with my friends recently, and I feel like they're moving on with their lives, getting out there and doing something, while I'm festering inside my mind and ignoring life.
I don't understand math, and because of that my incredibly math-oriented family is making me feel so worthless and stupid.
I'm overweight and everyone keeps bringing it up, like that'll help me feel better about it or something.
I'm depressed and angry all the time, and it makes me feel so lame. I wish I could just be happy, but everytime I fool myself into thinking I am, something happens and I just spiral down again.
I just...want something to happen. Something monumental, you know? Like...a giant door will open in front of me and suddenly I'll just KNOW. I'll know what I want to do with myself, how to get there, how to be happy...
All I know is that I'm not happy. I'm not sure that I've been happy for a very long time.
*stabs something*
I'd like to start out by saying that there are so many things wrong right now that it's a miracle I haven't done SOMETHING incredibly stupid and dumb because I'm angry.
My ceramics teacher suddenly decides to spring on me yesterday that the projects I've been working on the entire year don't fit the criteria and that I have a month to completely start over.
My brother has always been abusive and power-hungry, and has officially made me freaked out to ever be in a relationship with a guy.
I'm pissed off because I know that, even if I get into a good college that focusses on what I want to study, my family won't be supportive because they won't view it as something that's worth spending money on.
My mother would rather get her nails done than spend time talking with her children.
My grades are suffering because I've stopped caring about anything.
I'm feeling so out of the loop with my friends recently, and I feel like they're moving on with their lives, getting out there and doing something, while I'm festering inside my mind and ignoring life.
I don't understand math, and because of that my incredibly math-oriented family is making me feel so worthless and stupid.
I'm overweight and everyone keeps bringing it up, like that'll help me feel better about it or something.
I'm depressed and angry all the time, and it makes me feel so lame. I wish I could just be happy, but everytime I fool myself into thinking I am, something happens and I just spiral down again.
I just...want something to happen. Something monumental, you know? Like...a giant door will open in front of me and suddenly I'll just KNOW. I'll know what I want to do with myself, how to get there, how to be happy...
All I know is that I'm not happy. I'm not sure that I've been happy for a very long time.
*stabs something*