Comments | dr_fawkes: Something So Funny

dr_fawkes

Something So Funny

Apr 26, 2006 12:45

Disorder in the Court...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
( Read more... )

Comments 7

timetraveled April 26 2006, 16:39:06 UTC

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

*HEADDESK*And the beard one...*sighs* Yes, women wear beards all the time! Have they never heard of circuses?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

Wow...this post nearly killed me with laughter. Thank you.

dr_fawkes April 26 2006, 20:57:11 UTC

Your stories do the same to us Readers. Nice icon, by the way. ^_^

timetraveled April 26 2006, 21:01:01 UTC

I really hope I don't kill readers. Azkaban problems and all that.

I love the pirate laugh ^_^

cgn April 27 2006, 01:01:41 UTC

Hahah! I think I read this a few years ago, but it didn't have all of these.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

Brilliant!!

dr_fawkes April 27 2006, 05:18:15 UTC

Oral, indeed. Yeah, that's one of my favourites, too.

What's your father's name?
Oral.
Where do you work?
Oral.
How many kids do you have?
Oral.
How did you hear about the murder of Hippocrates?
Oral.

ghostofbambi April 27 2006, 02:51:17 UTC

Oh god... this is bloody funny..... *wipes eyes*

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

Best bit!!

dr_fawkes April 27 2006, 05:14:56 UTC

Ah...Poor Susan...Her husband either suffers from amnesia or inconstancy. Dunno which is worse.