Southern California, Boredom, A Few Days Ago (NFB)
It was supposed to be a comeback. Sheila had dropped the Dr. Girlfriend moniker months ago -- when she'd split from the Monarch -- to reclaim her spot as Phantom Limb's Queen Etherea. It got old fast. All he ever wanted her to do was prance around in a skimpy costume and make wine shandies. Look, she was fine showing off her considerable assets, but there was more to her than how good she looked with the help of double-sided tape. She was a brilliant scientist. She was feared and respected in the Guild. She could be a competent and capable number two, not just some ridiculous bit of eye-candy.
For weeks now, she'd been toying with the idea of going solo again, as Lady Au Pair. The dress still fit, and there were plenty of superscientists out there who'd appreciate her talents. So she'd gone behind Phantom Limb's back and contacted Tim-Tom and Kevin, her Murderous Moppets, and explained the opportunity. Byron Orpheus, the necromancer in Dr. Venture's house, had been approved for a team. Why not at least audition?
Waiting in line with a bunch of knife-happy moppets wasn't doing much to quell her nerves. In fact, it didn't take long for Sheila to realize what a horrible mistake this was going to be.
Orpheus liked her resume, but he swore that he recognized her. He did, obviously -- how many times could you drive a flying cocoon through the man's yard without him IDing your face? -- but she'd lied about it anyway.
"Lady Au Pair," she corrected him, "and you don't know me."
All three of them recoiled at once. The Blacula hunter to Orpheus's right had been drooling at her legs, but that changed as soon as she opened her mouth.
"Now that's a voice," he said, eyeing her like she had two heads. "Do you smoke cigarettes, or do you eat them?"
"Oh, forget it," she'd huffed, jumping to her feet with her fists in tiny balls. How had she expected this to go, anyway? She had never been able to control the Moppets. That was why she'd stopped being Lady Au Pair. Well, that and sleeping with Phantom Limb, who was a condescending prick, and then the Monarch, who had dumped her unceremoniously and thrown her out of his Cocoon. Ugh. Men.
Maybe she just wasn't cut out for soloing. Of course, if she asked the Guild for advice, they'd just suggest more of those trashy outfits.
Sheila sat in her car, not ready to drive home yet -- Phantom Limb would take one look at her and know where she'd been. He'd either mock her or pity her, and either way, she'd kick him. In an effort to stall, she pulled out her cell phone, and sent a long-overdue text to one of her oldest friends:
Sick of California and all of my ex-beaux. Next time you're on this coast, I'll buy a round and you can listen to me kvetch.
She didn't expect a quick response; he might not be touring for this album, but being an international rock star still took plenty of hours out of the day, and that wasn't counting the time he spent as a higher-up in the Guild. And so she was surprised when her phone dinged a reply not fifteen minutes later:
Find your way to this coast, and I'LL pay for the drinks.
That was ... an enticing prospect. How long had it been since she was back home in the Big Apple? She could catch the red-eye and be there by morning.
Phantom would gripe, but he always did. Reason #832 that she was going to break up with him as soon as she got home.
(NFB. Part one of two before Dr. Girlfriend arrives tomorrow. WOOOO.)
For weeks now, she'd been toying with the idea of going solo again, as Lady Au Pair. The dress still fit, and there were plenty of superscientists out there who'd appreciate her talents. So she'd gone behind Phantom Limb's back and contacted Tim-Tom and Kevin, her Murderous Moppets, and explained the opportunity. Byron Orpheus, the necromancer in Dr. Venture's house, had been approved for a team. Why not at least audition?
Waiting in line with a bunch of knife-happy moppets wasn't doing much to quell her nerves. In fact, it didn't take long for Sheila to realize what a horrible mistake this was going to be.
Orpheus liked her resume, but he swore that he recognized her. He did, obviously -- how many times could you drive a flying cocoon through the man's yard without him IDing your face? -- but she'd lied about it anyway.
"Lady Au Pair," she corrected him, "and you don't know me."
All three of them recoiled at once. The Blacula hunter to Orpheus's right had been drooling at her legs, but that changed as soon as she opened her mouth.
"Now that's a voice," he said, eyeing her like she had two heads. "Do you smoke cigarettes, or do you eat them?"
"Oh, forget it," she'd huffed, jumping to her feet with her fists in tiny balls. How had she expected this to go, anyway? She had never been able to control the Moppets. That was why she'd stopped being Lady Au Pair. Well, that and sleeping with Phantom Limb, who was a condescending prick, and then the Monarch, who had dumped her unceremoniously and thrown her out of his Cocoon. Ugh. Men.
Maybe she just wasn't cut out for soloing. Of course, if she asked the Guild for advice, they'd just suggest more of those trashy outfits.
Sheila sat in her car, not ready to drive home yet -- Phantom Limb would take one look at her and know where she'd been. He'd either mock her or pity her, and either way, she'd kick him. In an effort to stall, she pulled out her cell phone, and sent a long-overdue text to one of her oldest friends:
Sick of California and all of my ex-beaux. Next time you're on this coast, I'll buy a round and you can listen to me kvetch.
She didn't expect a quick response; he might not be touring for this album, but being an international rock star still took plenty of hours out of the day, and that wasn't counting the time he spent as a higher-up in the Guild. And so she was surprised when her phone dinged a reply not fifteen minutes later:
Find your way to this coast, and I'LL pay for the drinks.
That was ... an enticing prospect. How long had it been since she was back home in the Big Apple? She could catch the red-eye and be there by morning.
Phantom would gripe, but he always did. Reason #832 that she was going to break up with him as soon as she got home.
(NFB. Part one of two before Dr. Girlfriend arrives tomorrow. WOOOO.)