(no subject)
You Know You're From Silicon Valley When...
Your combined household income is $140,000 and you can't afford shoes for the kids
You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood
You know what DSL stands for
You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or Starbucks
You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho, pesto and pad thai
You met your neighbors once
When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance
Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay
You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an 'old-timer'
The T-shirts you value most were for products that never made it to market
You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer
You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor
Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter
You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $40 a week on gas
Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies
The median price of a house is $500,000...for 1200 sq. ft. with no yard because it's a town house
You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America on a boat
Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home
You have a master's degree in engineering but half the people in your department either didn't go to college or have history degrees, except if you have a master's from Stanford, in which case everyone in your department has a master's degree from Stanford
You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if someone in management will make you stop wearing bunny slippers
You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the airport in commute hours
You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer
You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world, but don't because it would be difficult to move back.
You have at least three computers at home.
You own at least one domain on the Internet, probably several.
You think it's normal to see chip-design software or relational databases advertised on freeway billboards.
You know that California isn't just one big beach.
You know that not everyone in California surfs.
You know there's lots of skiing in California.
You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts.
If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know what they're talking about.
You take your out-of-town friends to see the techie gadgets at Fry's. But you don't let them buy anything.
You know how to recognize re-sealed returned electronics at Fry's.
You don't ask the staff any questions at Fry's. You know they hire idiots and pass the savings on to you.
You watch dot-com boomers go back to the states they came from, and the traffic gets better by the month. But you are home so you're not moving.
You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends.
You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you visit the mountains.
You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools.
You think bicycles don't belong on the road.
You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road.
Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make... until you tell them how much you pay for housing.
You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars.
You do a "California stop" at stop signs. And you think it's only Californians who call them that.
You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them. But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you.
You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit.
You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake.
You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first.
You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the 101". It's just "101". No "the".
You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the ground.
At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And you froze your little *@#!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind.
You say you're from Silicon Valley because no one knows where San Jose is.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Silicon Valley.
no You Know You're From the Bay Area When... You get the same off-color email joke from 17 people in the same hour, and one of them is your wife.
Your "personal shopper" has become engaged to your "career coach".
You know that "taking the Nerd Bird" means you're flying to L.A ... for the 3rd time in a week.
You have a daughter named Meg and a son named URL.
You bought stock in Starbucks just for the free chocolate-covered coffee beans.
You recently built your children their first "tilt-up" concrete playhouse.
Almost all of the companies featured on your resume are no longer in business.
You make $120,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away.
You live an hour or more from the office so that you can afford a larger house.
You spend more time in your office and car than in your house.
You stop asking how much things cost, but instead ask "how long will it take?"
Two-thirds of the people you know are from Boston or New York, but you are living in PST.
You know vast differences difference between Thai, Vietnemese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.
Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.
You go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.
You think that "I'm going to Fry's" is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while, and your boss does too.
You lost your alarm clock, but you'll get to work when you get there.
You go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of Unix is better.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You know where Woz Way, Resistor Avenue, and Floppy Drive are located.
You know who and where Woz is.
You know that 280 North goes west and that 680 North goes east.
It rained ... and your birdbath fell over ... or your tree fell over ... or a utility pole fell over.
It rained ... and the spiders came in ... and the ants came in ... and the mice came in.
You realize that even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on PowerPoint.
You see a billboard that says "FPG2ASIC" and understand what it means.
You can get the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers by just walking across the street.
The phone company installed fiber-optic cable to your home but they can't afford to light it up.
You have more bandwidth inside your home than there is in most major universities.
Your wireless LAN is interfering with your wireless phone and your home automation system.
None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.
You get email from a co-worker at 10:00PM ... and you are both still in the office.
You scan yardsales for back issues of "Dr. Dobbs."
Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.
Your workplace vending machines dispense "100% natural twig-bars" right next to Jolt cola and Instant Espresso mix.
No one brings radios to work because they listen to RealAudio.
There are more than six Z3s parked at your office during weekdays.
There are more than six Z3s parked at your office during weekends.
The Z3s are gradually turning into SUVs.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from the Bay Area.
like You Know You're From San Francisco When... You take a bus and are shocked that 2 people are carrying on a conversation in English.
Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.
Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
You were born somewhere else.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
Your cat has its own psychiatrist.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.
When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".
You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.
You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.
When your church elects a new Bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San Francisco.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at Blogthings
You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood
You know what DSL stands for
You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or Starbucks
You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho, pesto and pad thai
You met your neighbors once
When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance
Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay
You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an 'old-timer'
The T-shirts you value most were for products that never made it to market
You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer
You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor
Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter
You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $40 a week on gas
Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies
The median price of a house is $500,000...for 1200 sq. ft. with no yard because it's a town house
You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America on a boat
Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home
You have a master's degree in engineering but half the people in your department either didn't go to college or have history degrees, except if you have a master's from Stanford, in which case everyone in your department has a master's degree from Stanford
You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if someone in management will make you stop wearing bunny slippers
You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the airport in commute hours
You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer
You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world, but don't because it would be difficult to move back.
You have at least three computers at home.
You own at least one domain on the Internet, probably several.
You think it's normal to see chip-design software or relational databases advertised on freeway billboards.
You know that California isn't just one big beach.
You know that not everyone in California surfs.
You know there's lots of skiing in California.
You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts.
If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know what they're talking about.
You take your out-of-town friends to see the techie gadgets at Fry's. But you don't let them buy anything.
You know how to recognize re-sealed returned electronics at Fry's.
You don't ask the staff any questions at Fry's. You know they hire idiots and pass the savings on to you.
You watch dot-com boomers go back to the states they came from, and the traffic gets better by the month. But you are home so you're not moving.
You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends.
You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you visit the mountains.
You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools.
You think bicycles don't belong on the road.
You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road.
Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make... until you tell them how much you pay for housing.
You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars.
You do a "California stop" at stop signs. And you think it's only Californians who call them that.
You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them. But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you.
You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit.
You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake.
You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first.
You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the 101". It's just "101". No "the".
You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the ground.
At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And you froze your little *@#!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind.
You say you're from Silicon Valley because no one knows where San Jose is.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Silicon Valley.
no You Know You're From the Bay Area When... You get the same off-color email joke from 17 people in the same hour, and one of them is your wife.
Your "personal shopper" has become engaged to your "career coach".
You know that "taking the Nerd Bird" means you're flying to L.A ... for the 3rd time in a week.
You have a daughter named Meg and a son named URL.
You bought stock in Starbucks just for the free chocolate-covered coffee beans.
You recently built your children their first "tilt-up" concrete playhouse.
Almost all of the companies featured on your resume are no longer in business.
You make $120,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away.
You live an hour or more from the office so that you can afford a larger house.
You spend more time in your office and car than in your house.
You stop asking how much things cost, but instead ask "how long will it take?"
Two-thirds of the people you know are from Boston or New York, but you are living in PST.
You know vast differences difference between Thai, Vietnemese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.
Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.
You go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.
You think that "I'm going to Fry's" is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while, and your boss does too.
You lost your alarm clock, but you'll get to work when you get there.
You go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of Unix is better.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You know where Woz Way, Resistor Avenue, and Floppy Drive are located.
You know who and where Woz is.
You know that 280 North goes west and that 680 North goes east.
It rained ... and your birdbath fell over ... or your tree fell over ... or a utility pole fell over.
It rained ... and the spiders came in ... and the ants came in ... and the mice came in.
You realize that even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on PowerPoint.
You see a billboard that says "FPG2ASIC" and understand what it means.
You can get the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers by just walking across the street.
The phone company installed fiber-optic cable to your home but they can't afford to light it up.
You have more bandwidth inside your home than there is in most major universities.
Your wireless LAN is interfering with your wireless phone and your home automation system.
None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.
You get email from a co-worker at 10:00PM ... and you are both still in the office.
You scan yardsales for back issues of "Dr. Dobbs."
Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.
Your workplace vending machines dispense "100% natural twig-bars" right next to Jolt cola and Instant Espresso mix.
No one brings radios to work because they listen to RealAudio.
There are more than six Z3s parked at your office during weekdays.
There are more than six Z3s parked at your office during weekends.
The Z3s are gradually turning into SUVs.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from the Bay Area.
like You Know You're From San Francisco When... You take a bus and are shocked that 2 people are carrying on a conversation in English.
Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.
Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
You were born somewhere else.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
Your cat has its own psychiatrist.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.
When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".
You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.
You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.
When your church elects a new Bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San Francisco.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at Blogthings