People Piss Me Off.
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Ok. Simple assignment. Come up with a 90 second film to shoot next class and storyboard it. 90 seconds. That's roughly 10 minutes work.
Simple? Apparently not. It seems stupidity is alive and well and thriving in the Austin Community College student body.
STUDENT 1: How about a murder mystery?
GROUP: Ok.
ME: Good idea, but it's going to be hard to do a murder mystery in 90 seconds.
STUDENT 2: We could have the killer kill all of us off and then walk away at the end!
GROUP: Yeah!
STUDENT 2: Like, he could kill the victim and then text message each of us and we would go meet him then he'd kill us.
ME: Um...we only have 90 seconds.
STUDENT 2: ...
STUDENT 3: What about this...the victim dies, then the rest of us are suspects and the detective has to find out who it is.
ME: In 90 seconds?
STUDENT 4: (Files her nails)
STUDENT 1: So, we're doing a murder mystery. Ok.
ME: (resigning to the Fate of things) All right. So, let's storyboard it. (Gets out paper and draws a square) What's our first shot?
STUDENT 1: The killer comes in and kills the guy, then he goes out through the door and his hand leaves a bloody mark.
ME: Ok. Now, where is the camera?
THEY ALL STARE BLANKLY.
ME: The camera? What is the setup for the camera? Are we going to set it up and cut each shot? Are we going to follow the killer?
SILENCE
STUDENT 2: The killer is a teacher here, and the "protagonist" (he punctuates it like we all don't know the word) is waiting for his girlfriend who is a student worker in the cafe. He's waiting to edit some film with her and....
ME: Um...we only have 90 seconds. Can we establish all that in 90 seconds and still have time for the story?
STUDENT 2: ...
ME: I'm just saying that I think we should keep it simple and work on the placement of the camera, which is what this project is abo-
STUDENT 2: Maybe it would be a slasher thing. The killer used to work in the school and he lost his only love to a teacher. We'll get our Professor to play the killer!
GROUP: YEAH!
ME: Um...will he do it?
STUDENT 2: Yeah, he'll do it.
ME: Shouldn't we ask?
STUDENT 2: No, he'll do it.
I GO ASK THE TEACHER
ME: He says he won't do it.
THE GROUP IS NOW MAD AT ME. POINTLESS WORK IS NOW AVOIDED, BUT THEY ARE MAD AT ME.
STUDENT 2: Well, I guess we have to start all over.
ICY STARES FROM THE GROUP
ME: (GETTING A WEE BIT FRUSTRATED) Ok. So, let's find a story and stick to i-
STUDENT 1: What about the one who gets killed really isn't killed and they walk away at the end.
STUDENT 2: And he was waiting to edit a film with his girlfriend and -
ME: Ok, GREAT idea. Let's get the storyboard. What's the first shot?
STUDENT 3: What if the killer comes out of the room and leaves a bloody hand print.
ME: Ok. Do we want to show him on camera? Or a tight spot?
STUDENT 3: Just put a light behind him.
ME: Um...we don't have a light.
STUDENT 3: We can shoot it from one of the doors leading from outside. Then we can't see his face.
ME: So we want him coming from outside?
STUDENT 3: No, it'll be like he's coming out of the room.
ME: I'm concerned that it will be too confusing for the audience. They'll see him coming from outside and not understand that it was supposed to be from "the room."
SILENCE.
ME: You know?
SILENCE
STUDENT 2: He secretly wants to be in charge of the school but he can't so he hates everyone, and the girl he kills is his long-lost daughter and....
_______
At this point, I give up. 45 minutes of this shit. I would write the entire conversation, but AMAZINGLY the above is repeated 4 more times before class is over.
We would have gotten Wednesday off. Instead, I have to drive my ass through rush hour traffic to do this all over again. The other groups all had their storyboards and were ready to shoot in their time slot. I just happened to get saddled with the Kevin Smith Wannabes.
I've tried to be nice, but it's no use. I'm doomed for a C. This would have been such a great project.
How do you handle stupid people like this?
GRAH!
END RANT
.
Ok. Simple assignment. Come up with a 90 second film to shoot next class and storyboard it. 90 seconds. That's roughly 10 minutes work.
Simple? Apparently not. It seems stupidity is alive and well and thriving in the Austin Community College student body.
STUDENT 1: How about a murder mystery?
GROUP: Ok.
ME: Good idea, but it's going to be hard to do a murder mystery in 90 seconds.
STUDENT 2: We could have the killer kill all of us off and then walk away at the end!
GROUP: Yeah!
STUDENT 2: Like, he could kill the victim and then text message each of us and we would go meet him then he'd kill us.
ME: Um...we only have 90 seconds.
STUDENT 2: ...
STUDENT 3: What about this...the victim dies, then the rest of us are suspects and the detective has to find out who it is.
ME: In 90 seconds?
STUDENT 4: (Files her nails)
STUDENT 1: So, we're doing a murder mystery. Ok.
ME: (resigning to the Fate of things) All right. So, let's storyboard it. (Gets out paper and draws a square) What's our first shot?
STUDENT 1: The killer comes in and kills the guy, then he goes out through the door and his hand leaves a bloody mark.
ME: Ok. Now, where is the camera?
THEY ALL STARE BLANKLY.
ME: The camera? What is the setup for the camera? Are we going to set it up and cut each shot? Are we going to follow the killer?
SILENCE
STUDENT 2: The killer is a teacher here, and the "protagonist" (he punctuates it like we all don't know the word) is waiting for his girlfriend who is a student worker in the cafe. He's waiting to edit some film with her and....
ME: Um...we only have 90 seconds. Can we establish all that in 90 seconds and still have time for the story?
STUDENT 2: ...
ME: I'm just saying that I think we should keep it simple and work on the placement of the camera, which is what this project is abo-
STUDENT 2: Maybe it would be a slasher thing. The killer used to work in the school and he lost his only love to a teacher. We'll get our Professor to play the killer!
GROUP: YEAH!
ME: Um...will he do it?
STUDENT 2: Yeah, he'll do it.
ME: Shouldn't we ask?
STUDENT 2: No, he'll do it.
I GO ASK THE TEACHER
ME: He says he won't do it.
THE GROUP IS NOW MAD AT ME. POINTLESS WORK IS NOW AVOIDED, BUT THEY ARE MAD AT ME.
STUDENT 2: Well, I guess we have to start all over.
ICY STARES FROM THE GROUP
ME: (GETTING A WEE BIT FRUSTRATED) Ok. So, let's find a story and stick to i-
STUDENT 1: What about the one who gets killed really isn't killed and they walk away at the end.
STUDENT 2: And he was waiting to edit a film with his girlfriend and -
ME: Ok, GREAT idea. Let's get the storyboard. What's the first shot?
STUDENT 3: What if the killer comes out of the room and leaves a bloody hand print.
ME: Ok. Do we want to show him on camera? Or a tight spot?
STUDENT 3: Just put a light behind him.
ME: Um...we don't have a light.
STUDENT 3: We can shoot it from one of the doors leading from outside. Then we can't see his face.
ME: So we want him coming from outside?
STUDENT 3: No, it'll be like he's coming out of the room.
ME: I'm concerned that it will be too confusing for the audience. They'll see him coming from outside and not understand that it was supposed to be from "the room."
SILENCE.
ME: You know?
SILENCE
STUDENT 2: He secretly wants to be in charge of the school but he can't so he hates everyone, and the girl he kills is his long-lost daughter and....
_______
At this point, I give up. 45 minutes of this shit. I would write the entire conversation, but AMAZINGLY the above is repeated 4 more times before class is over.
We would have gotten Wednesday off. Instead, I have to drive my ass through rush hour traffic to do this all over again. The other groups all had their storyboards and were ready to shoot in their time slot. I just happened to get saddled with the Kevin Smith Wannabes.
I've tried to be nice, but it's no use. I'm doomed for a C. This would have been such a great project.
How do you handle stupid people like this?
GRAH!
END RANT
.