[fic] two men and a baby
“The diapers are in the diaper stacker by the changing table. Wipes and powder are in the top drawer.” Lily says as she pulls on her overcoat and moves her hair out from under the collar. “There are bottles in the refrigerator.”
“She’s just been changed,” Tommy adds and he carefully passes the baby off to Dick, who takes her up much less carefully. “She likes Goodnight Moon and most anything by Dr. Seuss but you have to read Seuss in a funny voice.”
“I happen to be wonderful at funny voices.” Dick promises.
Mike Morningstar rolls his eyes. “Yes, and you don’t even have to try.”
Dick glares. Michael feigns a pleasant smile and looks back to his daughter, “Where are you two going?”
“My boss’s engagement party,” Lily says and she slings her bag onto her shoulder. “We won’t be out too long, thank you so much for watching her.”
“It’s no problem.” Dick bounces the baby girl. “You just leave it to PopPop and Grandpa Scratchy Wet Blanket.”
Lily kisses Dick’s cheek and Dick beams while Mike glares almost jealously before settling down when he receives his own kiss to the cheek and a hug from his daughter. “Have fun, Princess.”
Dick and Mike watch as Tommy and Lily leave.
“Soooo,” Dick says as he takes a seat with his granddaughter. “Now what?”
Mike sighs and rubs his face.
+++
“You’re going to drop her!” Mike insists.
Dick rolls his eyes and continues to throw the child up into the air and catching her in his arms. “Don’t be so lame, Michael.”
“I wasn’t aware that “responsible” and “lame” were the same thing, Dr. Solomon.”
“We’re just having a little fun.”
The heavyset man lifts an eyebrow and gives Dick a look that suggests that he thinks the skinnier man is a complete idiot. “If you give my granddaughter brain-damage, I will kill you.”
“Don’t make me laugh.” Dick laughs anyways and tosses the baby up. This time, when he catches her, he fumbles some. His eyes widen and his mouth drops in mild horror.
Michael practically leaps into action and moves to steady the infant. He sighs in something like relief and glares, harshly, at Dick before he takes the small girl into his own arms. He holds his granddaughter awkwardly, but protectively and pulls her close to his chest.
“Oopsie?” Dick says. He bites his bottom lip and lowers his head, as if ashamed.
“Idiot.”
+++
“Why won’t she stop crying?” Michael demands.
He’s tried feeding her. He’s tried changing her. He’s tried talking to her, soothingly.
Nothing.
The infant continues to wail. It’s a surprisingly loud sound given the tiny body that it’s coming from. Michael’s patience isn’t what it used to be and he has slowly become quite agitated with his granddaughter’s fussing. She just won’t stop and there seems to be no conceivable reason for her to have started in the first place.
Mike rocks some, from side to side and hushes at her.
“Shush, shush…Please, you’re going to give me a migraine.” He tells her , “What do you want?”
Dick looks up from the television, “Anytime you feel like letting me have a shot at making her quiet down…”
“I can do this on my own, thank you,” the man glares and then turns his blue eyes to the child in his arms.
Dick rolls his eyes and shuts off the TV. He crosses the room and holds out his arms. “Give her to me.”
The other grandparent surrenders the child.
“She just hates you, that’s all.” The High Commander smirks as the baby quiets.
She begins to cry again. It’s Michael’s turn to smirk.
Dick makes a face and then stares, intently, at the baby. The baby stares, intently, back up at her PopPop. His eyebrows furrow in concentration, and the girl echoes the look. “She says she’s too warm.”
“Don’t be silly. You can’t possibly know that.”
“She gave me her mind,” the other man shrugs and he sets to removing layers from his granddaughter. “It’s an ability we have. I don’t expect you to understand. You’re just too unevolved.”
“Beg pardon?”
“You’re unevolved,” Dick repeats. “And fat.”
+++
“We’re home.”
“Finally,” Mike murmurs.
Tommy tosses his jacket onto the couch, “How’d it go?”
“Terrible.”
“Fine!”
Lily and Tommy exchange looks as Lily hangs up her coat.
“Riiight.” Tommy says, and he slips into his daughter’s room to assure that she is all right.
Michael stands from the chair and goes to hug his daughter. “When I imagined you getting married, I imagined it would be into an old, dignified family, not this freakshow.”
Lily gives her father a stern look and he has the good graces to look scorned.
“Thank you for watching her, Daddy.”
“Of course, Princess.”
Tommy comes back out of the nursery and offers his hand to Mike. “Thank you very much, Mr. Morningstar. Always good seeing you again.”
Father-in-law and son-in-law shake hands.
Lily hugs Dr. Solomon and he smiles happily. “I need to get back to Mary.”
“Tell her we said hello.” Tommy urges as he clasps his ‘father’ by the shoulder. It’s an attempt at remaining formal infront of Mike, but it fails when the two brush off handshakes and shoulder clasps in favor of a bear hug. “We owe you one. Drop my grandson off anytime.”
“I think Mary and I deserve a night in.” Dick waggles his eyebrows and smiles, suggestively. “Oh, and Tommy! Next time I babysit, please do me the favor of being sure this…ponceisn’t here.”
Mike puffs himself up in indignation and Dick sticks his chest out.
Tommy and Lily sigh.
“She’s just been changed,” Tommy adds and he carefully passes the baby off to Dick, who takes her up much less carefully. “She likes Goodnight Moon and most anything by Dr. Seuss but you have to read Seuss in a funny voice.”
“I happen to be wonderful at funny voices.” Dick promises.
Mike Morningstar rolls his eyes. “Yes, and you don’t even have to try.”
Dick glares. Michael feigns a pleasant smile and looks back to his daughter, “Where are you two going?”
“My boss’s engagement party,” Lily says and she slings her bag onto her shoulder. “We won’t be out too long, thank you so much for watching her.”
“It’s no problem.” Dick bounces the baby girl. “You just leave it to PopPop and Grandpa Scratchy Wet Blanket.”
Lily kisses Dick’s cheek and Dick beams while Mike glares almost jealously before settling down when he receives his own kiss to the cheek and a hug from his daughter. “Have fun, Princess.”
Dick and Mike watch as Tommy and Lily leave.
“Soooo,” Dick says as he takes a seat with his granddaughter. “Now what?”
Mike sighs and rubs his face.
+++
“You’re going to drop her!” Mike insists.
Dick rolls his eyes and continues to throw the child up into the air and catching her in his arms. “Don’t be so lame, Michael.”
“I wasn’t aware that “responsible” and “lame” were the same thing, Dr. Solomon.”
“We’re just having a little fun.”
The heavyset man lifts an eyebrow and gives Dick a look that suggests that he thinks the skinnier man is a complete idiot. “If you give my granddaughter brain-damage, I will kill you.”
“Don’t make me laugh.” Dick laughs anyways and tosses the baby up. This time, when he catches her, he fumbles some. His eyes widen and his mouth drops in mild horror.
Michael practically leaps into action and moves to steady the infant. He sighs in something like relief and glares, harshly, at Dick before he takes the small girl into his own arms. He holds his granddaughter awkwardly, but protectively and pulls her close to his chest.
“Oopsie?” Dick says. He bites his bottom lip and lowers his head, as if ashamed.
“Idiot.”
+++
“Why won’t she stop crying?” Michael demands.
He’s tried feeding her. He’s tried changing her. He’s tried talking to her, soothingly.
Nothing.
The infant continues to wail. It’s a surprisingly loud sound given the tiny body that it’s coming from. Michael’s patience isn’t what it used to be and he has slowly become quite agitated with his granddaughter’s fussing. She just won’t stop and there seems to be no conceivable reason for her to have started in the first place.
Mike rocks some, from side to side and hushes at her.
“Shush, shush…Please, you’re going to give me a migraine.” He tells her , “What do you want?”
Dick looks up from the television, “Anytime you feel like letting me have a shot at making her quiet down…”
“I can do this on my own, thank you,” the man glares and then turns his blue eyes to the child in his arms.
Dick rolls his eyes and shuts off the TV. He crosses the room and holds out his arms. “Give her to me.”
The other grandparent surrenders the child.
“She just hates you, that’s all.” The High Commander smirks as the baby quiets.
She begins to cry again. It’s Michael’s turn to smirk.
Dick makes a face and then stares, intently, at the baby. The baby stares, intently, back up at her PopPop. His eyebrows furrow in concentration, and the girl echoes the look. “She says she’s too warm.”
“Don’t be silly. You can’t possibly know that.”
“She gave me her mind,” the other man shrugs and he sets to removing layers from his granddaughter. “It’s an ability we have. I don’t expect you to understand. You’re just too unevolved.”
“Beg pardon?”
“You’re unevolved,” Dick repeats. “And fat.”
+++
“We’re home.”
“Finally,” Mike murmurs.
Tommy tosses his jacket onto the couch, “How’d it go?”
“Terrible.”
“Fine!”
Lily and Tommy exchange looks as Lily hangs up her coat.
“Riiight.” Tommy says, and he slips into his daughter’s room to assure that she is all right.
Michael stands from the chair and goes to hug his daughter. “When I imagined you getting married, I imagined it would be into an old, dignified family, not this freakshow.”
Lily gives her father a stern look and he has the good graces to look scorned.
“Thank you for watching her, Daddy.”
“Of course, Princess.”
Tommy comes back out of the nursery and offers his hand to Mike. “Thank you very much, Mr. Morningstar. Always good seeing you again.”
Father-in-law and son-in-law shake hands.
Lily hugs Dr. Solomon and he smiles happily. “I need to get back to Mary.”
“Tell her we said hello.” Tommy urges as he clasps his ‘father’ by the shoulder. It’s an attempt at remaining formal infront of Mike, but it fails when the two brush off handshakes and shoulder clasps in favor of a bear hug. “We owe you one. Drop my grandson off anytime.”
“I think Mary and I deserve a night in.” Dick waggles his eyebrows and smiles, suggestively. “Oh, and Tommy! Next time I babysit, please do me the favor of being sure this…ponceisn’t here.”
Mike puffs himself up in indignation and Dick sticks his chest out.
Tommy and Lily sigh.