I was Bored, and This was Funny
LJ stalking horror - a report by draco18s.
luxatos is stalking draco18s
luxatos’s REAL name :
Thames Toland
luxatos’s REAL DOB :
16th December 1982
Height :198 cm
Weight : 101.9 kg
luxatos has dreamt about you :
25 times
luxatos became interested in you :
29th November 2002
luxatos’s latest dream about you
luxatos dreamt that both of you died in each others arms in a rather bizarre rollercoaster accident.
This is how luxatos describes your relationship behind your back
‘At first I thought it was just friendship, but it’s more than that. The way draco18s looks at me has to be seen to be believed. Either he loves me as much as I love him or he’s terrified. And that isn’t very likely, is it……?’
luxatos’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
luxatos ‘borrowed’ your beloved collection of Bee-Gees LP’s whilst you were napping on Christmas Day last year.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
luxatos now has a full-colour image of you tattooed on their back.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Fuck me darling! Fuck me now! Fuck me whilst I’m limber! It won’t be long before we both have arthiritis anyway!
The Police
No. calls to the police :
16 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, police? Yeah, I’d like to report a crime. Some mad fuckers just shovelled shit into our mailbox. I think it’s this person I know from the internet called luxatos. Yeah, real mad son of a bitch. Can’t seem to understand that I just don’t like ‘em."
luxatos’s Police File
luxatos has connections with the Church of Satan, The Communists and the IRA. It’s only a matter of time before they are responsible for a major terorrist attack on our country.
Testimonies about luxatos
karashata - Charlie Manson’s long-lost sibling
‘Jesus fuck! You’ve got to be joking?!??! luxatos? A pervert? It’s quite funny now I think about it. What an idiot!’
maz_dragon - Loves staring at dead bodies
‘Fucks sake! luxatos’s been stitched up, that draco18s has always been a right scheming fucker. It’s a disgrace.’
kimi_sharamin - Lord of the Irn-Bru
‘It’s odd, I’ve known some weird fucks in my time and luxatos and draco18s would definitely top that list.’
LJ stalking horror - a report by draco18s.
maz_dragon is stalking draco18s
maz_dragon’s REAL name :
Sandlin Skelton
maz_dragon’s REAL DOB :
15th March 1982
Height :193 cm
Weight : 111.7 kg
maz_dragon has dreamt about you :
24 times
maz_dragon became interested in you :
30th May 2004
maz_dragon’s latest dream about you
You are stranded with maz_dragon on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how maz_dragon describes your relationship behind your back
‘We were destined to be together and you’ll soon be tying the knot.’
maz_dragon’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
A pair of soiled underpants that you left out in your backyard after a night out on the razz.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
maz_dragon now has a full-colour image of you tattooed on their back.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
If I can’t have you, nobody can darling. I’d advise you to committ these words to memory.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
18 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, police? Yeah, I’d like to report a crime. Some mad fuckers just shovelled shit into our mailbox. I think it’s this person I know from the internet called maz_dragon. Yeah, real mad son of a bitch. Can’t seem to understand that I just don’t like ‘em."
maz_dragon’s Police File
maz_dragon is a right sadastic bastard and should be detained for as long as possible.
Testimonies about maz_dragon
karashata - Monarch of lard
‘To be honest there was always something about maz_dragon that gave me the creeps. Gave off a really weird smell. Almost like a decomposing racoon.’
luxatos - Fart N Flirt
‘Boring. I know draco18s and maz_dragon really love each other. They are both just seeking attention. Just get married and stop the fucking games already! Jesus!’
kimi_sharamin - Meat is dinner
‘maz_dragon’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’
And not to discriminate....
Stalking is illegal. draco18s confronts karashata.
karashata is stalking draco18s
karashata’s REAL name :
Wharton Bradshaw
karashata’s REAL DOB :
09th August 1972
Height :196 cm
Weight : 111.4 kg
karashata has dreamt about you :
3 times
karashata became interested in you :
07th August 2003
karashata’s latest dream about you
karashata and draco18s are the first astronauts to colonize Mars. Instead of concentrating on colonial issues, the two young lovebirds instead spend their hours making passionate love on top of Olympus Mons.
This is how karashata describes your relationship behind your back
‘We were destined to be together and you’ll soon be tying the knot.’
karashata’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
karashata ‘borrowed’ your beloved collection of Bee-Gees LP’s whilst you were napping on Christmas Day last year.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
karashata is considering having reconstructive surgery on their earlobes so that they are similar in appearance to your own.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I need somebody to love. Over these last couple of months I’ve got to know you but you still do not know who I really am. I’m watching you.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
10 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"My names draco18s, I’m ringing to report a stalker. Who is it? I don’t know their real name. I met them off an online community called Livejournal. Their username is karashata. They’ve been sending me used condoms through the post. Could you please do something about this quickly? My mother opened the last letter. She nearly died of shock. Thanks"
karashata’s Police File
karashata is a convicted stalker who will re-offend. Particularly if they have access to the internet and I feel sorry for the poor son of a bitch who catches the attention of this crazed motherfucker.
Testimonies about karashata
kimi_sharamin - Ex-priest
‘karashata was always one of us. One of the gang. We never suspected anything. I’m really shocked..’
luxatos - Worships the sun
‘Jesus fuck! You’ve got to be joking?!??! karashata? A pervert? It’s quite funny now I think about it. What an idiot!’
maz_dragon - Meat is dinner
‘Thank Christ I never let karashata into my house. God the thought of it all gives me the creeps!’
And Kara only gets one despite the two LJ names.
(And honestly, neither was "great")