This is your brain. This is your brain on Smirnoff Ice
Friday night, my kvlt black metal band, Goatfuneral, released its debut album, Vikings From Hell. The Goatfuneral demo, Unsilent Noise in the North Garage,
has already been in circulation for some time. Here are the lyrics to
the album, which currently is not available anywhere (although I might
sell a copy on ebay for $127 five or six years from now):
GOATFUNERAL - VIKINGS FROM HELL
1. Nocturnal Darkness (Intro)
(Music by Lord Ahriman and Morgan Steinmeyer Hakansson)
[This intro consists of eighteen seconds of total silence followed by four seconds of the sound of a guitar being tuned]
2. Black Funeral in Carpathia
Bring my dead girlfriend to the ruins of the church I claimed to have burned down
All hail Satan
All hail my dead girlfriend
Even though she's dead we can still have romantic, erotic, gothic sex
Christ, you prick!
Through the power of Satan and Lord Byron
My girlfriend will live again
And I will fuck her in vampire lesbian sex orgies of Transilvanian libertine necrophilia
All hail Satan
Bring my dead girlfriend to the ruins of the church I pretended to burn down
3. Almighty Hammer of the Reich of Baphomet
Goat of Mendes and a Thousand Young,
We call upon you to revive the ancient spirit of Heinrich Himmler
To lead the next generation of Satanic Waffen SS
Against the forces of hippie liberal democracy
And return society to reactionary barbarism
That the strong may crush the weak in the name of Varg Vikernes
Heil Shemhamforash!
4. Eternally Burning in the Perpetual Everlasting Flames of Infernal Fire
I hate myself and my stupid friends and my parents and my whole life
Satan, take me away from this living hell
In nomine Satanas I kill myself
So that I may escape my earthly torment and be at one with my mercyful lord
In the perpetual everlasting flames of infernal hellfire
I burn eternally alongside the sodomized, impaled, blasphemed, bastard Nazarene son of a bitch
5. Luciferian Vomit of Ancient Pagan Goats
Goats!
In the shadows of night they lurk, the soldiers of Satan
Thousands of goats, the army of Hell
Little do the Christians suspect!
The shit and piss of goats shall infect the drinking water of Christians
The saliva of goats shall blind the eyes of Christians
The flatulence of goats shall poison the air of Christians
The hooves of goats shall dirty the carpets of Christians
The hair of goats shall get in the food of Christians
The cocks of goats shall sodomize the assholes of Christians
Millions of goats, the army of Satan
The Christians abandon all hope
They smack them with brooms but still the goats come
In infernal conquest a neverending stream of goats advances!
The shit and piss of goats shall infect the drinking water of Christians
The saliva of goats shall blind the eyes of Christians
The flatulence of goats shall poison the air of Christians
The hooves of goats shall dirty the carpets of Christians
The hair of goats shall get in the food of Christians
The cocks of goats shall sodomize the assholes of Christians
The goats... the goats!
6. Solitary Loneliness in the Melancholic Desolation of Sorrowfulness
[This instrumental consists of eight minutes of random unaccompanied keyboard and acoustic guitar]
7. Enraptured by the Occultic Majesty of the Mystical Trees of the Fog-Enshrouded Woodland Forest of Nature
Alone I walk through the woods in the winter at midnight
Touching the trees, stroking them
Feeling their big, firm, hard, upraised wood
Planting the seed in the frozen earth of the forest
In ecstasy I walk through the woods in the winter at midnight
Expanding my mind with the weeds and herbs
8. The Execperexioctophon Halogerian
(lyrics by Grand Belial's Key)
"All Jews are fucking fag kikes", saith the eighty-seventh aposticipleate of the homosexual Semitic paracoccitessaronius.
9. Rising Magnificently in the Triumphant Glory of Victoriousness
When all Christians are left weeping for their God and
When all light is turned to the blackest darkness of
When all crucifixes are inverted in goat-vomit so as to
When all virgins are anally desecrated without mercy but
When all churches are burned in flaming fire if
When all infants are baptized in the semen of their
When all graves are desecrated with alcohol or
When all words are left hanging in the
10. Vikings From Hell
Armed with axes, drunk on mead and the blood of unbaptized infants
The Viking longship sails out of the portal to Hell
Hailing Odin, the Satanic legions ride into battle
To purge Europe of the Christian influence of Judaism
To render unto death the infernal temples of Wotan
To blaspheme against the Christian Satan!
GOATFUNERAL is:
Drum Machine - Drums
Lord Axazvaxazvaxus (me) - Everything else
All music and lyrics by Lord Axazvaxazvaxus except where noted.
GOATFUNERAL - VIKINGS FROM HELL
1. Nocturnal Darkness (Intro)
(Music by Lord Ahriman and Morgan Steinmeyer Hakansson)
[This intro consists of eighteen seconds of total silence followed by four seconds of the sound of a guitar being tuned]
2. Black Funeral in Carpathia
Bring my dead girlfriend to the ruins of the church I claimed to have burned down
All hail Satan
All hail my dead girlfriend
Even though she's dead we can still have romantic, erotic, gothic sex
Christ, you prick!
Through the power of Satan and Lord Byron
My girlfriend will live again
And I will fuck her in vampire lesbian sex orgies of Transilvanian libertine necrophilia
All hail Satan
Bring my dead girlfriend to the ruins of the church I pretended to burn down
3. Almighty Hammer of the Reich of Baphomet
Goat of Mendes and a Thousand Young,
We call upon you to revive the ancient spirit of Heinrich Himmler
To lead the next generation of Satanic Waffen SS
Against the forces of hippie liberal democracy
And return society to reactionary barbarism
That the strong may crush the weak in the name of Varg Vikernes
Heil Shemhamforash!
4. Eternally Burning in the Perpetual Everlasting Flames of Infernal Fire
I hate myself and my stupid friends and my parents and my whole life
Satan, take me away from this living hell
In nomine Satanas I kill myself
So that I may escape my earthly torment and be at one with my mercyful lord
In the perpetual everlasting flames of infernal hellfire
I burn eternally alongside the sodomized, impaled, blasphemed, bastard Nazarene son of a bitch
5. Luciferian Vomit of Ancient Pagan Goats
Goats!
In the shadows of night they lurk, the soldiers of Satan
Thousands of goats, the army of Hell
Little do the Christians suspect!
The shit and piss of goats shall infect the drinking water of Christians
The saliva of goats shall blind the eyes of Christians
The flatulence of goats shall poison the air of Christians
The hooves of goats shall dirty the carpets of Christians
The hair of goats shall get in the food of Christians
The cocks of goats shall sodomize the assholes of Christians
Millions of goats, the army of Satan
The Christians abandon all hope
They smack them with brooms but still the goats come
In infernal conquest a neverending stream of goats advances!
The shit and piss of goats shall infect the drinking water of Christians
The saliva of goats shall blind the eyes of Christians
The flatulence of goats shall poison the air of Christians
The hooves of goats shall dirty the carpets of Christians
The hair of goats shall get in the food of Christians
The cocks of goats shall sodomize the assholes of Christians
The goats... the goats!
6. Solitary Loneliness in the Melancholic Desolation of Sorrowfulness
[This instrumental consists of eight minutes of random unaccompanied keyboard and acoustic guitar]
7. Enraptured by the Occultic Majesty of the Mystical Trees of the Fog-Enshrouded Woodland Forest of Nature
Alone I walk through the woods in the winter at midnight
Touching the trees, stroking them
Feeling their big, firm, hard, upraised wood
Planting the seed in the frozen earth of the forest
In ecstasy I walk through the woods in the winter at midnight
Expanding my mind with the weeds and herbs
8. The Execperexioctophon Halogerian
(lyrics by Grand Belial's Key)
"All Jews are fucking fag kikes", saith the eighty-seventh aposticipleate of the homosexual Semitic paracoccitessaronius.
9. Rising Magnificently in the Triumphant Glory of Victoriousness
When all Christians are left weeping for their God and
When all light is turned to the blackest darkness of
When all crucifixes are inverted in goat-vomit so as to
When all virgins are anally desecrated without mercy but
When all churches are burned in flaming fire if
When all infants are baptized in the semen of their
When all graves are desecrated with alcohol or
When all words are left hanging in the
10. Vikings From Hell
Armed with axes, drunk on mead and the blood of unbaptized infants
The Viking longship sails out of the portal to Hell
Hailing Odin, the Satanic legions ride into battle
To purge Europe of the Christian influence of Judaism
To render unto death the infernal temples of Wotan
To blaspheme against the Christian Satan!
GOATFUNERAL is:
Drum Machine - Drums
Lord Axazvaxazvaxus (me) - Everything else
All music and lyrics by Lord Axazvaxazvaxus except where noted.