The Hand of Wrath, chapter 13 [PG-13, seaQuest, Bridger/Westphalen]
Sometimes, my muse really sucks. That is all I can say for this delay.
index post
A/N: Huge thanks to Kazu for helping me work through dialogue snarls!
sine qua non (Latin) - "without which not" or "without which [there is] nothing"; something essential that cannot be done without.
Chapter 13 ~ Sine Qua Non
The faint beeping sound slowly drew Kristin towards awareness. For several long moments, disorientation reigned. The surface she lay on felt strangely soft and the unbearable cold had been reduced to a slight chill. And that beeping was steadily growing louder....where was it coming from? The last thing she remembered was....
Len.... The name rose to the surface and, with it, her last recall: cold blue eyes boring into hers, hateful insinuations whispered in her ear, the agony of icy water closing over her head. Panic flared to the forefront and made her painfully aware of the oppressive weight centered on her chest. Her eyes flew open and the glaring light that met them caused a sharp pain to bloom in her head. As she struggled against the heaviness weighing her down, the beeping changed to a shrill alarm, the difference in volume and tone shocking her to near full consciousness while doubling the headache.
The urgent murmur of voices drew her attention and the alarm was silenced a moment later. The soft, steady beeping had returned, and she now recognized it as a cardiac monitor. A lot of blinking brought her surroundings into focus and she realized she was in seaQuest's medbay. The first person she saw was Tonya Braeckman, who gave her a smile of greeting. "Welcome back, Doc."
(*)
Nathan awoke with a start, blinking in the dimness of his quarters and wondering for a moment just where he was. Then he belatedly remembered that Levin had again ordered him to return to his quarters to get some rest. For the first twenty-four hours after Kristin's rescue, he had been permitted to remain in medbay when he was not at her bedside so they could monitor his shoulder wound. Once Levin had determined that any chance of infection had been prevented, however, he was ordered to take a four-hour break from his vigil every twelve hours. The only reason he had agreed was because Levin promised to page him if Kristin awoke during his absence.
Getting dressed seemed to take seconds and he was out the door as quickly as possible. It wasn't until he was almost to the stairs that he realized both the chill and the ache in his chest that had bothered him for days were now completely gone. No doubt it had simply been a side effect from lack of sleep and stress, both of which would now no longer be an issue.
As he entered the main area of medbay, Levin looked up from his console. "Ah, Captain, you have perfect timing. I was just about to call you." He nodded towards the doorway behind him.
(*)
Kristin managed a weak smile in return to the nurse's greeting, but her attempt at speaking only triggered a convulsive coughing fit. Tonya immediately moved to support her, shutting off the necessary alarms one-handed. Once the cough subsided, Kristin slumped back against the pillows with a shaky sigh.
"How long...."
"A little over two days."
Two days.... She fought the fatigue that the coughing spell had exacerbated as Tonya performed a routine check of vitals, asked about her pain levels and switched out her current blankets for newly warmed ones. The added warmth felt heavenly and the urge to return to sleep so tempting that she almost didn't realize the nurse was still talking.
"...up for a visitor?"
She blinked again. "I'm sorry, Tonya. What?" Then a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she turned to see Nathan standing in the doorway.
(*)
Nathan paused in the doorway, taking note of Braeckman fussing with a small stack of blankets before his gaze shifted to Kristin. Exhaustion was etched into her features, but it was enough to see her awake and alert. Her eyes met his and the ghost of a smile that crossed her face made his heart leap in his chest. Braeckman turned to see him standing there and she quickly finished adjusting the top blanket after glancing at the nearest monitor and keying in a command on its touchscreen. "Well....I'd better get back to work. Just remember to page me if you need anything, okay Doc?"
"Thank you, Tonya. I will."
The young nurse slipped out of the room, carefully sliding the door closed behind her. Nathan barely noticed her departure as he settled into the chair by Kristin's bedside. "Good to see you with your eyes open," he teased gently, taking her hand in his.
Her smile increased just slightly and she shifted her hand so that she could lace her fingers through his. "Probably won't be that way for too long."
"Don't you worry about that. It's more important that you recover. Besides, I've gotten used to watching you sleep the last couple days."
"I never thought I would see you again...." Her whispered words trailed off into a brief coughing bout. When it subsided, she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again to meet his. "How did you find me?"
"It's kind of a long story--but the short version is that, between Lucas and O'Neill working together on tracing the messages sent to us and an encoded message O'Neill was able to translate, we were able to ascertain your location. We were able to get you out of there just in time, thankfully with no casualties on our side. Two of them were killed and one surrendered--a young Aleut man. He's currently in the brig and refusing to talk, much to Crocker's annoyance."
"And Len? Were you able to take her into custody, or did she escape?"
He hesitated for a moment. "We did, but she was injured in the process. She didn't survive despite Levin's best efforts in the surgical bay."
Her eyes studied his face for a long moment. "There's something you're not telling me."
He shook his head with a wry chuckle. "You know me too well. I wanted to shield you from the worst until you had a chance to recover, but you deserve to know the truth. I was responsible for her death; she tried to drown me and I fought back. After I managed to throw her off me, I realized I had thrown her against the side of the pool. The blow to her head was fatal. I was so furious by the thought of what she'd done to you that when Levin told me she was dead, my first reaction was to be relieved...." His voice trailed off. "Maybe she was right. Maybe I am a murderer."
Kristin's fingers curled around his in a light squeeze. "Oh, Nathan--no. That sounds like clear self-defense."
"And yet, in the end, I could almost understand how she felt. I've been where she is and that level of grief can be debilitating, especially when you're so mired in it you refuse to let yourself move on." Nathan sighed and shook his head again. "I wouldn't have let go without being pushed into it. But stubbornness is one of my worst habits, which reminds me: I owe you a very belated apology for our argument the day Darwin was injured. My yelling at you that day was completely out of line."
"Now, that was as much my fault as it was yours. And I'm just as stubborn as y--" Another coughing fit gripped her, and he automatically moved to brace her when the convulsions made her double over. He continued to hold her even after it abated, rubbing her back in gentle circles. After several minutes had passed, she sat up straight in order to take a few slow, deep breaths.
"If I hadn't been so damned obstinate, I would have been with you in Anchorage. They wouldn't have had the chance to lay a hand on you. But I wasn't--and because of my behavior, I almost lost you." He swallowed back the lump that had risen in his throat. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing another person that I love."
"I could say the same." Her response was almost a whisper. "I didn't want to give up, but I really did begin to think that it wasn't possible you would find me in time. And I knew my biggest regret would be that I would never have the chance to tell you that I love you...."
He had wondered for an instant if his admittance of love had been a mistake, but her words dashed all doubt. Tilting her chin up, he lowered his lips to hers. Her arms slid up to encircle his neck. As the kiss deepened by slow measures, he pulled her closer, absorbing the fact that she was here in his arms. After several long moments, she broke the lip lock and a sharp stab of guilt hit him when her ragged breathing told him why she'd pulled away.
"Sorry," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Don't be." She had caught her breath again and now a small smile graced her face. "It's not the first time you've taken my breath away."
He returned her smile, knowing she was referring to their moment on the beach during the banquet. She shifted to lean her head against his chest and he wrapped her in his arms, tucking the end of the blanket around her shoulders to help keep her warm. She caught his hand in hers, twining their fingers together again.
"So what happens now?" Her soft words broke the silence.
Nathan rubbed his thumb idly over the back of her hand. "We take it one day at a time. This will almost be like starting over for me, though my main concern is the crew. We both know how to be discreet, of course, but this is still a small boat."
Kristin laughed quietly. "From some of the looks we get and the comments they already make when they think we aren't aware, I don't think that will be a problem."
"Guess we'll see how things go, then." Feeling her shiver, he slipped his hand from hers and snagged a second blanket to wrap around her. He wasn't surprised at her sudden lack of response, knowing it meant she had fallen asleep. A faint smile formed on his face as he brushed a stray wisp of her hair behind her ear. It would likely be hours before she awakened again, but he couldn't resist the temptation to hold her while she slept. The news that she was conscious again would spread to the rest of the crew all too soon, meaning he would have to compete with the others who would want to visit. So he intended to make the moment last as long as possible.
He didn't know how much time had actually passed before the insistent chirp of the audio link disrupted the quiet. Luckily, it was on the wall next to the edge of the bed and he didn't have to get up to reach it. "Bridger," he said in a low voice.
"Cap, if you're available, would you mind comin' down to the brig? Seems our guest has decided to talk, but he claims he'll only talk to you."
"Very well. I'll be down there shortly." A glance down at Kristin proved that the brief conversation had not disturbed her rest, for which he was grateful. With careful movements, he lay her back down and tucked the covers around her snugly. She stirred fleetingly when he brushed his lips against hers, but did not awaken. While part of him was reluctant to leave, their suspect needed to be questioned--and he intended on getting some actual answers. He would not tolerate any more of these diversions.
index post
A/N: Huge thanks to Kazu for helping me work through dialogue snarls!
sine qua non (Latin) - "without which not" or "without which [there is] nothing"; something essential that cannot be done without.
Chapter 13 ~ Sine Qua Non
The faint beeping sound slowly drew Kristin towards awareness. For several long moments, disorientation reigned. The surface she lay on felt strangely soft and the unbearable cold had been reduced to a slight chill. And that beeping was steadily growing louder....where was it coming from? The last thing she remembered was....
Len.... The name rose to the surface and, with it, her last recall: cold blue eyes boring into hers, hateful insinuations whispered in her ear, the agony of icy water closing over her head. Panic flared to the forefront and made her painfully aware of the oppressive weight centered on her chest. Her eyes flew open and the glaring light that met them caused a sharp pain to bloom in her head. As she struggled against the heaviness weighing her down, the beeping changed to a shrill alarm, the difference in volume and tone shocking her to near full consciousness while doubling the headache.
The urgent murmur of voices drew her attention and the alarm was silenced a moment later. The soft, steady beeping had returned, and she now recognized it as a cardiac monitor. A lot of blinking brought her surroundings into focus and she realized she was in seaQuest's medbay. The first person she saw was Tonya Braeckman, who gave her a smile of greeting. "Welcome back, Doc."
(*)
Nathan awoke with a start, blinking in the dimness of his quarters and wondering for a moment just where he was. Then he belatedly remembered that Levin had again ordered him to return to his quarters to get some rest. For the first twenty-four hours after Kristin's rescue, he had been permitted to remain in medbay when he was not at her bedside so they could monitor his shoulder wound. Once Levin had determined that any chance of infection had been prevented, however, he was ordered to take a four-hour break from his vigil every twelve hours. The only reason he had agreed was because Levin promised to page him if Kristin awoke during his absence.
Getting dressed seemed to take seconds and he was out the door as quickly as possible. It wasn't until he was almost to the stairs that he realized both the chill and the ache in his chest that had bothered him for days were now completely gone. No doubt it had simply been a side effect from lack of sleep and stress, both of which would now no longer be an issue.
As he entered the main area of medbay, Levin looked up from his console. "Ah, Captain, you have perfect timing. I was just about to call you." He nodded towards the doorway behind him.
(*)
Kristin managed a weak smile in return to the nurse's greeting, but her attempt at speaking only triggered a convulsive coughing fit. Tonya immediately moved to support her, shutting off the necessary alarms one-handed. Once the cough subsided, Kristin slumped back against the pillows with a shaky sigh.
"How long...."
"A little over two days."
Two days.... She fought the fatigue that the coughing spell had exacerbated as Tonya performed a routine check of vitals, asked about her pain levels and switched out her current blankets for newly warmed ones. The added warmth felt heavenly and the urge to return to sleep so tempting that she almost didn't realize the nurse was still talking.
"...up for a visitor?"
She blinked again. "I'm sorry, Tonya. What?" Then a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she turned to see Nathan standing in the doorway.
(*)
Nathan paused in the doorway, taking note of Braeckman fussing with a small stack of blankets before his gaze shifted to Kristin. Exhaustion was etched into her features, but it was enough to see her awake and alert. Her eyes met his and the ghost of a smile that crossed her face made his heart leap in his chest. Braeckman turned to see him standing there and she quickly finished adjusting the top blanket after glancing at the nearest monitor and keying in a command on its touchscreen. "Well....I'd better get back to work. Just remember to page me if you need anything, okay Doc?"
"Thank you, Tonya. I will."
The young nurse slipped out of the room, carefully sliding the door closed behind her. Nathan barely noticed her departure as he settled into the chair by Kristin's bedside. "Good to see you with your eyes open," he teased gently, taking her hand in his.
Her smile increased just slightly and she shifted her hand so that she could lace her fingers through his. "Probably won't be that way for too long."
"Don't you worry about that. It's more important that you recover. Besides, I've gotten used to watching you sleep the last couple days."
"I never thought I would see you again...." Her whispered words trailed off into a brief coughing bout. When it subsided, she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again to meet his. "How did you find me?"
"It's kind of a long story--but the short version is that, between Lucas and O'Neill working together on tracing the messages sent to us and an encoded message O'Neill was able to translate, we were able to ascertain your location. We were able to get you out of there just in time, thankfully with no casualties on our side. Two of them were killed and one surrendered--a young Aleut man. He's currently in the brig and refusing to talk, much to Crocker's annoyance."
"And Len? Were you able to take her into custody, or did she escape?"
He hesitated for a moment. "We did, but she was injured in the process. She didn't survive despite Levin's best efforts in the surgical bay."
Her eyes studied his face for a long moment. "There's something you're not telling me."
He shook his head with a wry chuckle. "You know me too well. I wanted to shield you from the worst until you had a chance to recover, but you deserve to know the truth. I was responsible for her death; she tried to drown me and I fought back. After I managed to throw her off me, I realized I had thrown her against the side of the pool. The blow to her head was fatal. I was so furious by the thought of what she'd done to you that when Levin told me she was dead, my first reaction was to be relieved...." His voice trailed off. "Maybe she was right. Maybe I am a murderer."
Kristin's fingers curled around his in a light squeeze. "Oh, Nathan--no. That sounds like clear self-defense."
"And yet, in the end, I could almost understand how she felt. I've been where she is and that level of grief can be debilitating, especially when you're so mired in it you refuse to let yourself move on." Nathan sighed and shook his head again. "I wouldn't have let go without being pushed into it. But stubbornness is one of my worst habits, which reminds me: I owe you a very belated apology for our argument the day Darwin was injured. My yelling at you that day was completely out of line."
"Now, that was as much my fault as it was yours. And I'm just as stubborn as y--" Another coughing fit gripped her, and he automatically moved to brace her when the convulsions made her double over. He continued to hold her even after it abated, rubbing her back in gentle circles. After several minutes had passed, she sat up straight in order to take a few slow, deep breaths.
"If I hadn't been so damned obstinate, I would have been with you in Anchorage. They wouldn't have had the chance to lay a hand on you. But I wasn't--and because of my behavior, I almost lost you." He swallowed back the lump that had risen in his throat. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing another person that I love."
"I could say the same." Her response was almost a whisper. "I didn't want to give up, but I really did begin to think that it wasn't possible you would find me in time. And I knew my biggest regret would be that I would never have the chance to tell you that I love you...."
He had wondered for an instant if his admittance of love had been a mistake, but her words dashed all doubt. Tilting her chin up, he lowered his lips to hers. Her arms slid up to encircle his neck. As the kiss deepened by slow measures, he pulled her closer, absorbing the fact that she was here in his arms. After several long moments, she broke the lip lock and a sharp stab of guilt hit him when her ragged breathing told him why she'd pulled away.
"Sorry," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Don't be." She had caught her breath again and now a small smile graced her face. "It's not the first time you've taken my breath away."
He returned her smile, knowing she was referring to their moment on the beach during the banquet. She shifted to lean her head against his chest and he wrapped her in his arms, tucking the end of the blanket around her shoulders to help keep her warm. She caught his hand in hers, twining their fingers together again.
"So what happens now?" Her soft words broke the silence.
Nathan rubbed his thumb idly over the back of her hand. "We take it one day at a time. This will almost be like starting over for me, though my main concern is the crew. We both know how to be discreet, of course, but this is still a small boat."
Kristin laughed quietly. "From some of the looks we get and the comments they already make when they think we aren't aware, I don't think that will be a problem."
"Guess we'll see how things go, then." Feeling her shiver, he slipped his hand from hers and snagged a second blanket to wrap around her. He wasn't surprised at her sudden lack of response, knowing it meant she had fallen asleep. A faint smile formed on his face as he brushed a stray wisp of her hair behind her ear. It would likely be hours before she awakened again, but he couldn't resist the temptation to hold her while she slept. The news that she was conscious again would spread to the rest of the crew all too soon, meaning he would have to compete with the others who would want to visit. So he intended to make the moment last as long as possible.
He didn't know how much time had actually passed before the insistent chirp of the audio link disrupted the quiet. Luckily, it was on the wall next to the edge of the bed and he didn't have to get up to reach it. "Bridger," he said in a low voice.
"Cap, if you're available, would you mind comin' down to the brig? Seems our guest has decided to talk, but he claims he'll only talk to you."
"Very well. I'll be down there shortly." A glance down at Kristin proved that the brief conversation had not disturbed her rest, for which he was grateful. With careful movements, he lay her back down and tucked the covers around her snugly. She stirred fleetingly when he brushed his lips against hers, but did not awaken. While part of him was reluctant to leave, their suspect needed to be questioned--and he intended on getting some actual answers. He would not tolerate any more of these diversions.