Well, honey, it's you. But You're not the one doing it. I promise. it's just hard when you're my best friend so everyone tells me how amazing you are. I obviously know that if i'm you best friend. It's frustrating to get more positive feedback on someone you've always idolized and even envied than on yourself. And I adore you...it just got to be too much last week. I saw guys throwing themselves at you, and people calling you amazing and smart, and gorgeous...and then I was just there. And it upset me when you made a big deal about the high note in elijah rock because it felt like you were accusing all these people who adore you of discrediting you. I guess i was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. buut i do love you and the weekend helped me. I hate that I get jealous, but i can;t really help it when you're so much of what i want to be.
All right, I thought I knew who it was, and I was horribly wrong. And who is/are the crackhead(s) who are calling me amazing? I don't believe anyone around me adores me. And I only made a big deal because, well, I often do feel discredited in Chambers. Like I have more talent -and influence - in the group than anyone seems to recognize. But... I never meant to make you feel any less about yourself... And I feel like anyone who sees anything "smart" or "gorgeous" in me and ignores you is a fucking idiot. Tina, I find you to be absolutely the most awe-inspiring creature on this earth. You dazzle me with how smart you are, you astonish me with your angelic voice, you overwhelm me with the exquisiteness of your words, and you render me actually speechless with your beauty. If at anytime you experience this unfounded envy again, just remind yourself of how much I wish I could be more like you.
I don't believe that these people are crackheads. I think you're the crackhead for saying that. lol. However, your words mean a lot to me. I feel discredited in Chambers as well. I mean look at how many times Mr. Peterson yelled at me...nevermind other things that happend that I don't even want to talk about. I work so hard and yet my flaws get pointed out in front of everyone. While every other first alto is playing a game "oooh let's not sing so we can see who's singing it wrong" fuck you. tour is in 9 days and we're a team...and no one seems to get that. fuck the mvp, he always blocks out from someone getting the credit. i just don't understand why you don't see the credit you actually do get. you've gottne a solo every year since sophmore year. when i told people about american idol they seemed most shocked that you didn;t get in. you get peer pressured into trying out for things like the te quiero solo. you fail to see the credit that you get and i feel like that's why i feel in the shadow. because you're always talking about
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Comments 6
he isn't worth the hurt, and she isn't worth the anger.
live for yourself.
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