Because I'm curious, and because I really want to see how much of a range exists in the answers. I don't need long rambles, though I'll read them; first-thing-you-think-of answers are great, too
( Read more... )
1) For me personally, it's a friendship in which you don't feel you're putting on a front. Until I've reached a certain level of acquaintance with someone, I feel I'm in some way pretending to be a normal person, trying to follow a social dance when I don't know all the steps.
2) It sounds weird, but the ability to be boring in each other's company without agonising over it afterwards is important. If I feel I'm being dull with a person I don't know terribly well, it troubles me for ages; with a close friend, I know that in the long term their opinion of me won't be damaged by it.
2) Man. I think with friendship, you can just relax. Being around a casual acquaintance and not doing anything is the opposite of a relaxing time, so when you realize that you can both relax and not be all OH GOD MUST ENTERTAIN THE PERSON, it's a good sign....
3) I HAVE THIS PROBLEM ALL THE TIME. Though with meeting people and establishing an early rapport rather than knowing someone a bit and trying to get to know them better. I honestly have no idea how one ever navigates first contact with another person. I'm usually lucky if I manage to remember their name.
A friendship where you can see that person every day and still look forward/enjoy seeing them the next day.
And a friendship where you can be apart for years, but when you meet up, it's like you never left.
And a friendship in which you can tell the other person anything, and even if they think you're a weirdo for it, it doesn't change anything because they still like you and respect you.
2) What markers do you take to indicate that you're in a close/deep friendship?
Apparently I use symptoms to define things. My bad. Uh, other markers? In general, for me, you share a lot of experiences with them. You're interested in the things they do, even if you can't identify with them.
3) What would you do in order to form a close/deep friendship?I think it's probably 3/4 chemistry and 1/4 making sure you stay in contact and, if some sort of fight or rift happens, trying to fix it. I mean, I do think you can become close friends with someone you don't instantly hit it off with, but I guess
( ... )
1) Whenever I think of deep friendship, I think of the quote something along the lines of, we sat together in silence, and it was the best conversation I ever had. The truest friendships I've had are the ones were I haven't had to fill the voids with words. Where I could be myself, and be loved when I probably least deserved it, but needed it most. I don't think it should be unconditional, though. I don't know how many people agree with me but I don't believe love/friendship should be unconditional
( ... )
I left out compatibility. I think a lot of it has to do with two people's personalities meshing well together. The whole 'hitting it off right away' comes to mind. Some personalities clash and others attract.
...I think it's indicative of something that, upon seeing this post, my brain made a sound that was the equivalent of splorfling on a soda and hacking up a hairball at the same time, threw up its metaphorical hands, and said, "I honestly don't have a clue".
I know, roughly, when someone is my close/deep friend-- no. I'm not even sure I know that. I know when someone matters to me. You matter to me a lot, and I would ache for you if you disappeared. But how "close" have we become? I don't know. Isn't that a mutual thing? How can I know that on other people's behalf, unless they tell me?
I don't think I understand friendship. I'm not even sure if I have friends. I have tribe. I have fiercely-protect. I have angry-if-they-hurt-you. I don't know if I know what friendship is.
I don't think I understand friendship. I'm not even sure if I have friends. I have tribe. I have fiercely-protect. I have angry-if-they-hurt-you. I don't know if I know what friendship is
Heh. Friendship (by way of extending love, at least, which people may or may not agree with) has something of a reputation of one of those most-mercurial, least-understandable emotions.Really, that's part of the point of asking, here - to get a feel for the wide range people instinctively look to (or don't) to understand it. Avoiding a definition by feeling out the reaches, defining by avoiding a definition. Sort of thing.
1) How would you define a close/deep friendship? When you say "Seriously, anything you need." And really mean it.
2) What markers do you take to indicate that you're in a close/deep friendship? For me I can tell when I get that call or my friend needs something/needs me to do something and it's something that would be inconvenient and my first thought isn't of the inconvenience but rather worry/concern for them or sometimes just rushing out the door to help without even thinking. I think the same is true for me on the flip side - a good indicator is when someone goes out of their way to cheer you up/make you laugh/see you/help you. When it would be easier to not do a thing, but you do it anyway because that person means more to you than yourself.
3) What would you do in order to form a close/deep friendship? I have several people I consider myself in that position with and who, from conversations, I consider to feel the same about me. Just being there, being a constant is what it takes to me.
Comments 9
2) It sounds weird, but the ability to be boring in each other's company without agonising over it afterwards is important. If I feel I'm being dull with a person I don't know terribly well, it troubles me for ages; with a close friend, I know that in the long term their opinion of me won't be damaged by it.
3) Oh, dear, I wish I knew.
Reply
3) I HAVE THIS PROBLEM ALL THE TIME. Though with meeting people and establishing an early rapport rather than knowing someone a bit and trying to get to know them better. I honestly have no idea how one ever navigates first contact with another person. I'm usually lucky if I manage to remember their name.
Reply
A friendship where you can see that person every day and still look forward/enjoy seeing them the next day.
And a friendship where you can be apart for years, but when you meet up, it's like you never left.
And a friendship in which you can tell the other person anything, and even if they think you're a weirdo for it, it doesn't change anything because they still like you and respect you.
2) What markers do you take to indicate that you're in a close/deep friendship?
Apparently I use symptoms to define things. My bad. Uh, other markers? In general, for me, you share a lot of experiences with them. You're interested in the things they do, even if you can't identify with them.
3) What would you do in order to form a close/deep friendship?I think it's probably 3/4 chemistry and 1/4 making sure you stay in contact and, if some sort of fight or rift happens, trying to fix it. I mean, I do think you can become close friends with someone you don't instantly hit it off with, but I guess ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
I know, roughly, when someone is my close/deep friend-- no. I'm not even sure I know that. I know when someone matters to me. You matter to me a lot, and I would ache for you if you disappeared. But how "close" have we become? I don't know. Isn't that a mutual thing? How can I know that on other people's behalf, unless they tell me?
I don't think I understand friendship. I'm not even sure if I have friends. I have tribe. I have fiercely-protect. I have angry-if-they-hurt-you. I don't know if I know what friendship is.
Reply
This. But I figured it counted in the end.
Reply
Reply
When you say "Seriously, anything you need." And really mean it.
2) What markers do you take to indicate that you're in a close/deep friendship?
For me I can tell when I get that call or my friend needs something/needs me to do something and it's something that would be inconvenient and my first thought isn't of the inconvenience but rather worry/concern for them or sometimes just rushing out the door to help without even thinking. I think the same is true for me on the flip side - a good indicator is when someone goes out of their way to cheer you up/make you laugh/see you/help you. When it would be easier to not do a thing, but you do it anyway because that person means more to you than yourself.
3) What would you do in order to form a close/deep friendship?
I have several people I consider myself in that position with and who, from conversations, I consider to feel the same about me. Just being there, being a constant is what it takes to me.
Reply
Leave a comment